Please advise - cynical, negative class w discipline issues

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 5:14 pm

JC wrote:

to everything that Fox said!

I just wanted to mention that what I quoted below is very negative and shaming a child never works in the long run.
I say giving children points for good behavior is a better tactic, and its better to make it private (like a savings passbook or passport) where you quietly pass out stickers for them to place in their booklet when you catch them in the act of behaving well. This makes good behavior a personal accomplishment and not an 'Im better than you are' competition. You can also award prizes for number of stickers.
Raffles suck because when you dont win it seems so unfair. I always seems like you never win and someone else is always winning. Random is not an easy concept.

amother wrote:

I now have a system that every disturbance causes their name to be circled. 3X's their name's circled -and they're sent straight to the principal. To soften the blow -at the end of the week all the uncircled names go into a raffle to earn a privilege (I.e. no home-work, eating pass etc. -there is one winner every week.) The problem is -even having every girl disturb twice is a lot, and it's hard every other minute to be on top of it, circling names as I'm teaching. Also -a lot of it's an attitute prob. that runs undercurrent, or a negative tone of voice etc.

As I said in my original post, my primary system is a positive one for good behavior. The kid get diff. color things that they can use as 'money' in our monthly prize store. This is given quietly during class for good behavior, class work etc. and is individual. Every kid gets a prize at the end of the month according to their preference and amount they collected. In addition we have a positive collective reward -the class gets to go on a trip once they earn a certain amount of 'diamonds' (they get one for good behavior, 20 = class trip chosen by girls.) The reason I started the system below in addition to the above two, is b/c the positive ones didn't work! The class earned a trip once at the beg. of year, and after that never cam close to winning again, (although they loved the first trip and were excitedly planning the next), the individual system worked a little better, but also didn't motivate them enough (even though they really liked the prizes), I did also try compliments, challenging girls, praising to parents and all that other positive stuff. My plan was to use only positive, when that didn't work I tried what I did with the marking the names (again in addition to the positie systems still running), I have to admit, this actually shows tangible results. I also don;t show the kids the paper with names marked and don't make an issue of it to decrease embarrassment (sp?), I just call their name and say quietly I'm marking them down. Frankly -they don't seem at all embarrassed, I wish that would be the case... If you have any other suggestions that work, I'm open. I wish only positive motivations would be enough, I really tried...

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 5:15 pm

JC wrote:

amother wrote:

↑ Fox ↓

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 5:59 pm

I'm hoping this is a case of hashgacha pratis and that my ideas will be helpful. Ordinarily, I would be working right now, but our server is down and the IT guys are hovering around it, mumbling, and poking each other. I take that as my cue to be on imamother!

amother wrote:

Now u got me really curious to read the book (Reaching the Stars), lol, but after hearing that I won't order it. I was about to after reading the post suggesting it.

Let me recommend a book I really like: Ron Clark's The Essential 55. The problem with any book about education, of course, is that nothing works in every situation. The goal is to develop sort of a toolbox of techniques that you can draw from. Some of his ideas seem to be highly dependent on being a young single guy with plenty of time on his hands. So laugh heartily at those ideas, adapt them to real life, or move on! But he definitely has some great advice as well as the right underlying attitude.

amother wrote:

I completely agree with you, I ended up doing it (sending kids to the principal) b/c the other methods I tried didn't seem to be working. Can you suggest alternatives for serious misbehavior (ie. repeated talking in Chutzpadik / inapropriate ways after repeated rquests / warnings to stop?). And yikes! That's kind of what I've been doing the last couple of months, and the only thing the girls seem to be influenced by, what do I do now?? What should I use to replace it? The girls are already used to misbehaving = principals office, basically I've dug myself into a rut...

amother wrote:

Very interesting psychology, that definately gave me a new perspective! I usually start off by ignoring, but gets to the point where I feel forced to act. I.e. a student speaks to another and I ignore it, either the kid starts talking really loudly / disrupting, or others will join in. Or a student is eating, I'll just turn a blind eye -then she'll start making a whole show with her food / bag or share with friends. I feel they force me to discipline -which fits with what u said, but OTOH how can I just ignore it?

Oh, I'd get really outrageous. Maybe I'm a frustrated comedienne, but I'd do almost anything for a laugh here. If two girls start talking really loudly, I'd pull up a chair or get right in their faces and join the conversation. "Really? She said that? Oh, no she didn't!" or "So do you think she'll be engaged soon? Will you be going to the chassunah? What are you going to wear?"

Food is a great opportunity. Anyone who makes a show of eating has to share. I'd walk right over and say, "Oh, you brought treats! Woo hoo!" And I'd take some, too! In my own case, as a woman of "traditional build," as the Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency books so eloquently put it, I'd point out that it's obvious that I've enjoyed a lot of the snacks my students have brought in over the years, so they shouldn't rely on a lack of appetite on my part!

amother wrote:

Love it! That was a great response, real classy :-). In truth that was my attitute in the beggining. In the first couple of week of school one day they decided to look spaced out and completely ignore me 9I heard them whispering this plan to each other at beg. of class). So I sat down in the teachers desk, and lounged out with the most spaced out look I could muster, with in 30 seconds the whole class was smiling. "I got a message that I was supposed to look spaced out", I said simply. The class giggled and then class continued like normal. I don't know at what point my attitude changed -I don't mind the jokes / or fun, it's the negativity that makes me absolutly crazy, a negativity to school, my class, each other, and myself, don't know how to just ignore it. They complain about EVERYTHING!

Well, they're not the only ones. Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon of Lakewood says that complaining is one of the greatest challenges our generation faces in middos. One idea that occurred to me is to make a "Complaint of the Day" award. Get some genuinely desirable prizes, print up some "certificates" and give an award at the end of each day to the most ridiculous, outrageous, silly complaint offered.

Give positive feedback for really "out there" complaints: "Mrs. Fo-o-o-x, I can't do any homework because we're having our house checked for snakes tonight." The goal is to get them to be really ridiculous rather than just obnoxious. Now, once they're all using their imaginations to come up with creative complaints, you can start shouting down the more prosaic complaints: "Oh, c'mon, Rivkie! You can do better than that! Too much homework from other classes? I want snakes! I want bat infestations! I want the police cordoning off the block in search of an escaped bank robber!"

amother wrote:

I tried Chavrusaa's for a number of weeks, either having them review material learned, or doing worksheets etc. It was a disaster. Half of them don't get along with each other, and they ended up doing nothing. Now I hardly do it any more.

BTDT! Stick that idea back into your tool box and let's pull something else out!

amother wrote:

Can you elaborate on this?(programmed instruction)

Okay, this is almost as much work as some of Ron Clark's out-there ideas, but it's incredibly effective. Programmed instruction is based on the idea that we learn best from immediate feedback. Back in the old days, kids actually used books that were printed in such a way that the concept was stated in a few sentences, and then the student had to fill in blanks or answer seemingly obvious questions about the concept.

For example:

Quote:

Sample Programmed Instruction
Panel 1
The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776.

Panel 2
The Declaration of Independence was signed in _______.

Panel 3
The _____________ of Independence was signed in 1776.

Panel 4
In the year 1776, the American colonies declared _______________ .

In true programmed instruction, the student moves a little card or guide down the page, revealing the answer he/she should have written above. Want to "cheat"? Go right ahead! The element of kinesthetic learning ends up with the cheaters learning just as much as the honest students. BTW, this is the basis for computer-based psychometric testing or instruction.

The advantage is that it presents material without requiring the teacher to stand in front of the classroom; demand everyone's attention; attempt to entertain the class enough that they'll "bite" into the material; then test them on how well they regurgitate. Students love programmed instruction because they can work at their own paces, and they feel like they've accomplished something.

Programmed instruction was very popular years ago; I've never really understood why it fell from favor. I suspect it had a lot to do with the cost and time required to produce materials.

But don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Presenting a unit once a week or even a single concept through this method is adequate to mix things up a little and keep everyone on her toes.

amother wrote:

What do I do about current methods of consequences -just stop them? And how should I replace them?

Okay -- here's the thing about "consequences." There are none -- at least in this situation. What are you possibly going to do? Kill the girl, ch'as v'sholom? Probably not. Ruin her life? Highly unlikely. Truthfully, teachers just don't have that kind of power. And that's the problem with thinking in terms of "consequences." Consequences involve serious, life-threatening stuff -- not enduring another meeting with an overworked, underpaid principal. Your students, at the bottoms of their little hearts, know this.

Let's face it: how well do "consequences" work for us adults? You would think, for example, that I would not eat so much or so badly because of the consequence of being fat. However, it doesn't seem to slow me down a bit! If I could eat too much of the wrong thing and only have to endure a meeting with the principal, I'd consider it an excellent bargain!

So don't worry about consequences.

Truthfully, it sounds like you were on the right track, but you got derailed by battle fatigue. Can I venture a guess that your principal is not terribly proactive in working with you and suggesting ideas or supporting your plans? Sadly, there are many school administrators -- and not just in Jewish schools -- who were good teachers and were, following the Peter Principle, promoted to their level of incompetence. And so we have administrators who were never properly mentored or trained themselves in charge of mentoring and training people . . . the blind leading the visually impaired.

Yasher koach for trying to put on some glasses and "see" things clearly!

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 9:47 pm

Fox wrote:

, ur ideas are so refreshing and untraditional. I'm gonna give it a try, the hard part is that it's mid-year, it aint easy to change at this point. So WWYD, just drop the consequences cold turkey? I prob. shouldn't tell the kids about my change of heart, so beginning tomorrow when girls begin to act up and are waiting for me to mark them down, instead I just completely utterly ignore them or gather some hidden acting skills to respond in some corny, wacky way? What do I do if they ask me why I didn't mark anyone down, ignore? Or do u have some funny liner I can respond?
Also, if a girl speak Chutzpadikly directly to me, -should I respond at all? (Until now I've been saying firmly: that's Chutzpadik /or we don't speak that way, please repeat in a nicer tone / with nicer words etc.

amother wrote:

Now u got me really curious to read the book (Reaching the Stars), lol, but after hearing that I won't order it. I was about to after reading the post suggesting it.

amother wrote:

Mmmm . . . I think the first thing I would do is try to separate your aggravation from genuinely inappropriate behavior. Most of us try to do that, but believe me, it's really, really hard -- especially when Miss Queen Bee is pushing your buttons. In fact, I'm fed up with this girl without spending a minute in her royal presence. For the time being, I'm going to suggest ignoring the chutzpah. Unless someone is dancing naked on her desk, I'd say "let it go" for right now.

Now, what are we going to do in the long run? We can't ignore it forever. Here's one idea: Don't respond to chutzpah and don't even attempt to maintain quiet for a week. During that week, call the parents of Miss Queen Bee and perhaps a few of her ladies in waiting, and tell the parents how absolutely wonderful their daughter is. Commend her leadership, her quick wit, and her sense of humor. Explain that you've had your differences with her, but that you are really enjoying her. Then hang up.

After a week or two, call her parents and explain that their daughter is such a wonderful leader, but you wonder if they could help you channel her energy in the right way. Explain that she has been inexplicably uncooperative, and you wonder if everything is all right. Reiterate what a lovely girl she is . . . blah, blah, blah. BTW, Ron Clark gives a hilarious account of this strategy in his book.

In my experience, a lot of the success of this depends on your ability as an actress. You have to act thoroughly aloof and unable to be affected by Miss Queen Bee's shenanigans. Likewise, you have to pretend that she is such a silly little thing that she couldn't possibly make you crazy.

Just to clarify -this Queen Bee is quite a cunning one, she's actually pretty studious and compared to the others not terribly behaved. In fact she's one of the few that was never sent to the principal. However at the same time I feel she is responsible for the trouble the other girls make in a subtle indirect way. She has an undercurrent negative attitude, and shows extra attention to girls who misbehave. Unfortunately I've watched some really great kids -who were left out of the Inner Circle, turn into really bratty kids, and the Queen give them a lot of attention for it. She is smart enough to know where the 'line' is, and hovers dangerously close w/o crossing it. But her attitude and obvious approval of misbehavior causes even the 'goody goodies' to turn rotten... I know this sounds crazy, but basically she is one of the better behaved students yet incites the others to become real brats (excuse my language).

Note that this serves many purposes: (1) It sends a message to Miss Queen Bee, et. al., that you're not a particularly juicy target; (2) It sends a message to the principal that you are unfazed by student misbehavior; and (3) It sends a message to the parents that you are in control. Trust me! They've heard from teachers before about Miss Queen Bee! They probably sigh as soon as they see the caller ID. And they're probably just as tired of hearing teachers kvetch about their kid as the teachers are of dealing with Miss Queen Bee. So break the cycle and get them on your side by showing them that a real, professional teacher is in charge!

The difficulty, as you'll no doubt detect, is that you have to have nerves of steel to play this game of chicken. It's going to take at least a few weeks, if not longer, at this point. So you're going to have to really think of it as an acting job. Pretend that this job is so easy and such a no-brainer that you wouldn't even bother to have a bad attitude! Pretend that Miss Queen Bee is literally a bee -- buzzing around but unable to really sting you!

So basically I'm am no longer a stressed, burned out, overworked teacher, I have now metamorphosed into a totally chilled out teacher who coudln't care less about her job. I've got a busy and exciting life keeoing me busy, and stroll in to teach in my spare time. I can't be bother to give a hoot to the pathetic little ones buzzing around me... This is going to take all y acting skills + will of iron + skin of an elephant -I'm always up for a challenge Tongue Out

amother wrote:

BTDT! Stick that idea back into your tool box and let's pull something else out!

amother wrote:

Can you elaborate on this?(programmed instruction)

Quote:

amother wrote:

What do I do about current methods of consequences -just stop them? And how should I replace them?

Okay -- here's the thing about "consequences." There are none -- at least in this situation. What are you possibly going to do? Kill the girl, ch'as v'sholom? Probably not. Ruin her life? Highly unlikely. Truthfully, teachers just don't have that kind of power. And that's the problem with thinking in terms of "consequences." Consequences involve serious, life-threatening stuff -- not enduring another meeting with an overworked, underpaid principal. Your students, at the bottoms of their little hearts, know this.

Let's face it: how well do "consequences" work for us adults? You would think, for example, that I would not eat so much or so badly because of the consequence of being fat. However, it doesn't seem to slow me down a bit! If I could eat too much of the wrong thing and only have to endure a meeting with the principal, I'd consider it an excellent bargain!

So don't worry about consequences.

Ever? What about if a student repeatedly doesn't do her home-work, or comes late to class? The class will have no boundries?

Truthfully, it sounds like you were on the right track, but you got derailed by battle fatigue. Can I venture a guess that your principal is not terribly proactive in working with you and suggesting ideas or supporting your plans? Sadly, there are many school administrators -- and not just in Jewish schools -- who were good teachers and were, following the Peter Principle, promoted to their level of incompetence. And so we have administrators who were never properly mentored or trained themselves in charge of mentoring and training people . . . the blind leading the visually impaired.

The principal does try, and is respected by the kids, when individual issues came up they were dealt with but nothing was done on a 'global level'. Also, my ego partly to balme -I didn't feel comfortable telling the principal how bad the situation really is.
Yasher koach for trying to put on some glasses and "see" things clearly!

↑ amother

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 10:39 pm

Fox -I'm pretty shocked u suggested that book (The Essential 55), very unimpressed. Just checked the 'Rewards & Punishments' section, the guy's pretty serious about punishments. He says to write every kids name on the board, and make a check every time they misbehave. (This is so embarrasing for the kids, and to make them start at it the whole class too! I've had some rotten teachers who did this with me when I was a girl.) Anyways, then he says -first check on board = sit silently next to him by lunch, second check = loose recess, third and fourth = detention, conference with parents. This completely doesn't fit with ur theory at all. If I'd try it I'd prob. have the whole class missing recess and having detentions on a daily basis, oh gosh. This book seems so old fashioned.

Here's a review I found for this book:
Where is the Smoking Gun website when you need them?

Since I am sure they are currently off debunking Frey's "A Million Little Pieces," it is my unhappy duty to inform potential buyers of this book that you are about to be had. While P.T. Barnum may say "There's one born every minute," I say as a former teacher and a current school board member, "When you know something is wrong, fix it."

There is something wrong with this book.

Look at the subtitle. See "An Award-Winning Educator's Rules..."? Do you see anywhere that Mr. Clark's "Disney Teacher of the Year Award" was granted to him by his publisher? The listed publisher, Hyperion books, is a division of Disney. Go ahead. Take a minute and type Disney and Hyperion into any search engine. You will find that they are one in the same. A little shocking isn't it?

After reading "The Essential 55" today, I was absolutely stunned. Instead of the light list of feel good stories I expected, I was paraded past a whole host of teaching sins that would have gotten any teacher in America fired; except Mr. Clark. What magic defended this man who would use children as stepping stones to a publishing and speaking career? Fame, possibly?

It appears Mr. Clark began innocently enough when his students decided to raise $12,000 needed to place an ad in USA Today. They met little success until an "anonymous" donator footed the bill. The ad was printed with a question directed towards then President Clinton and the world. The response was huge. Along with the President, such luminaries as the Prime Minister of Canada and the cast of "Friends" sent in responses. So far, so good.

The success of this stunt led Mr. Clark to believe that he walked on water. And he did. Who could challenge a teacher who had taken kids to the White House?

Remember the adage, "When things sound too good to be true..."? Well on page 53, Mr. Clark states "I taught both fifth-grade classes at the school, and we scored dead last in the country..." Then after claiming he had developed a writing outline program for the next year, he states, "...our school scored first in the country." Remembering the level of honestly displayed by Mr. Clark and his Disney Teacher of Year award, I simply could not believe this new claim. What test is this and where can we view the results?

What really turned me off from this book was that it is painfully Anti-kid and Anti-teacher. Instead of raising child self-esteem and documenting actual achievements, readers are treated to a continuous line of Mr. Clark's unregulated stunts. Nowhere else have I seen an educational author earning money from his experiences of humiliating both students and teachers. Until now.

According to pointless RULE 9, Mr. Clark will take back any gift you don't thank him for in three seconds. After one little girl won a set of books from him, our heartless author states on page 24, "The little girl was so excited that she was jumping up and down." Guess what. She forgot to immediately say thank you, and her gleeful classmates pointed it out. Mr. Clark then took away her earned reward and traded it in for lasting humiliation. He was then kind enough to share this humiliation with the world and profit from it in this very book. Have you thanked her for that Mr. Clark? Can you give her that excitement back? His excuse on page 25 was, "... I had to remain consistent." If you are wondering readers, this type of behavior will consistently transform employed teachers into unemployed ones.

It became obvious to me, that everything Mr. Clark did in his classroom (including going to teach in Harlem) he did to eventually make part of a future book; this book. Take RULE 16 on page 56. "Homework will be turned in each day..." In this section we learn that the amazing Mr. Clark got 100% of his class to turn in their homework for 62 days in a row. Something smells fishy here when he uses the phrase "homework participation," instead of homework completion. To get this 62 day run of whatever it is, he uses "peer pressure." This is code for bullying. If he doesn't like a kid, he turns the class loose on them stating "Well, I let the class lay it on thick." If the kid is his best student who is reduced to tears because she is the one who forgot her work on day 63, then Mr. Clark says, "Class, we need to have a talk." What happened to taking back books on page 25 and, "...I had to remain consistent."? Again new teachers, if you want to be fired, be like Mr. Clark.

Mr. Clark actually hides behind RULE 49 "Stand up for what you believe in," after giving a detention to a model student on page 139. Her sin? She had forgotten to bring to class a piece of blue paper. Really, how important are homework streaks when homework consists of carrying a colored piece of paper to and from school? The once happy, well-adjusted student, "...had cried all night long" because of this undeserved detention. Are we seeing a pattern here folks? Mr. Clark then refused to remove his martinet policy or the detention. If not for his preposterous fame, I don't see how he would have kept his job. Instead we read, "...that class went on to have twenty-three days in a row..." of what? successful colored-paper carrying? I am curious, what story of child humiliation arose at the end of that streak?

RULE 52 on page 146 is the clincher for me. Mr. Clark, in shear arrogance, states, "Accept that you are going to make mistakes. Learn from them and move on." Wow! This guy actually details how he gets into an argument with a veteran teacher and made her life a living hell. Astonishingly, Mr. "Respect" involves his entire elementary class in hiding a rotting onion in the woman's classroom; leaving it there for weeks; disrupting her student's working environment; and letting her throw out a personal plant that he convinced her was creating the smell. After she finally discovers the rotted onion, Mr. Clark then puts finely ground onions in her deodorizing spray bottle and laughs as she squirts it around the room. Her entire class then had to spend the day looking for non-existent onions instead of learning. Mr. Clark's horrible example leads directly to his own students blatant ignoring and disrespecting of this teacher. Amazingly, he never apologizes to her; her students; his student's; or the community. This idiotic behavior would have ended the teaching career of anyone, anywhere. But not Disney's Teacher of the Year. Instead, he got a movie deal.

In reference to your RULE 52: Mr. Clark, a mistake is an accident that occurs in the heat of a moment. You decided to torment a fellow teacher and her students for weeks. That is no accident. Your actions were, and continue to be, nothing less than disgraceful. Does anyone out there really believe the targeted teacher's name was Mrs. BITTERson? Couldn't resist sticking her one last time Mr. Clark?

Instead of following his own bullying advice and growing from this self-created debacle, Mr. Clark appears to be involving us all in his biggest, meanest prank yet: humiliating kids and a career teacher in front of the world, while wink... wink... taking our money

↑ Fox ↓

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 12:50 am

amother wrote:

Fox -I'm pretty shocked u suggested that book (The Essential 55)

Ah, then you didn't read my caveat at the beginning:

Fox wrote:

The problem with any book about education, of course, is that nothing works in every situation. The goal is to develop sort of a toolbox of techniques that you can draw from.

No, I don't agree with everything he suggests; in fact, there are a lot of things that I don't like at all, and plenty that just aren't practical in most situations. What I do like, however, is that he seems to understand the "toolbox" concept. The reviewer has selected anecdotes that don't necessarily show Mr. Clark in a good light. Okay. I can live with that. But it's a little like criticizing a cookbook because some of the recipes aren't objectively very good. So, duh; you don't make those recipes -- you find the recipes that do work, and you incorporate those into your repertoire.

Now, discerning readers will want to know why I'm so forgiving of Mr. Clark's shortcomings and less so of Mrs. Shain's. The problem lies not in the specific methods advocated by either author, but in the nature and purpose of the two books. Mrs. Shain's book was essentially a memoir, and it needs to be understood in that light. More to the point, Mrs. Shain occupies a unique role within the American Torah community that makes it difficult to separate out the objective teaching methods from the memories of a woman who was in the forefront of Jewish education in this country. Were Mrs. Shain to write her own "essential 55," I have a feeling it would be much different than her memoir.

amother wrote:

So WWYD, just drop the consequences cold turkey? I prob. shouldn't tell the kids about my change of heart, so beginning tomorrow when girls begin to act up and are waiting for me to mark them down, instead I just completely utterly ignore them or gather some hidden acting skills to respond in some corny, wacky way? What do I do if they ask me why I didn't mark anyone down, ignore? Or do u have some funny liner I can respond?

Like you say, I wouldn't advertise a change of policy; I'd just do it. When the girls ask why they're not being "written down," just say, "Oh, perhaps next time . . . " in a cavalier manner. The key is to stop being predictable in this situation. They have locked you into a dance: they act up, and then you get aggravated and write down their names. Right now, the most important thing is to break the rhythm of the dance!

amother wrote:

Also, if a girl speak Chutzpadikly directly to me, -should I respond at all? (Until now I've been saying firmly: that's Chutzpadik /or we don't speak that way, please repeat in a nicer tone / with nicer words etc.

It depends on what you mean by "chutzpadik." Start by asking yourself what precisely you mean by "chutzpadik"? Unfortunately, I've worked with a lot of teachers for whom chutzpadik meant, "Anything a student says that makes me mad." That said, chutzpah is like [filth] -- we can't define it, but we know it when we hear/see it. My usual attitude is to affect good-natured shock, pretending that I'm quite sure the student didn't mean what she said. "My goodness," I might say, opening my eyes wide. "I think your mouth got a bit ahead of your brain, there!"

Again, the point of this is to put the student into a no-win situation when she is chutzpadik. If she disagrees with my assessment that her chutzpah was accidental, she is essentially confessing to the crime; if she agrees with my assessment, she is coping a plea to a lesser offense.

amother wrote:

I know this sounds crazy, but basically she is one of the better behaved students yet incites the others to become real brats (excuse my language).

This doesn't sound crazy at all! This sounds like leadership! Miss Queen Bee is no fool -- she knows how to sow bedlam without exposing herself to risk. So you have two goals here: (1) Dilute her negative influence; and (2) Help her channel her leadership more positively. It's quite possible that #2 is not within your power at this time. That's okay -- that's really more of a long-term goal, anyway.

amother wrote:

So basically I'm am no longer a stressed, burned out, overworked teacher, I have now metamorphosed into a totally chilled out teacher who coudln't care less about her job. I've got a busy and exciting life keeoing me busy, and stroll in to teach in my spare time. I can't be bother to give a hoot to the pathetic little ones buzzing around me... This is going to take all y acting skills + will of iron + skin of an elephant -I'm always up for a challenge

amother wrote:

So at the same time that I'm putting even more effort into preparing great classes, I also need to pretend that I'm not working hard, and couldn't care less? How do I put these idea together?

I'd rephrase this just a little: it's not that you don't care about doing a good job; it's that you no longer allow your students to decide what constitutes a good job on your part. Your satisfaction will come from effectively transmitting the material, not from the girls' approval.

For whatever reason, they came to the conclusion early on that you really cared that they like you. Unfortunately, they used this to essentially torture you. You can be perfectly pleasant, diligent, and, in fact, innovative and creative -- without ever giving them the impression that they have a vote in your self-esteem as a teacher.

amother wrote:

Ever? What about if a student repeatedly doesn't do her home-work, or comes late to class? The class will have no boundries?

True dat! But it sounds like the class isn't exactly a paragon of boundaries right now. Turning in homework religiously while smarting off to the teacher isn't exactly a fair trade.

You can gradually introduce some new rules in a low-key, non-judgmental way:

Tardiness: announce that because it is disruptive to everyone as well as a bad habit, you will give the girls five minutes after the bell rings to be in their seats. After the five minutes, the door will be locked, and they will need a note from the office to be admitted. Give them 2-4 days' notice of the new policy, reiterating that you are not in the least bit interested in why they are tardy -- you simply expect them to be within their seats within the extremely reasonable time frame you have set, and that if there is some extreme situation that compels them to be more than five minutes late, they must inform the office. No drama; no tirades; no morality lectures . . . ho hum, this is my policy.

Homework: Start by figuring out how homework will be calculated into grades and set a reasonable policy for making up work -- and put it in writing to the students and their parents. This may be hard to implement immediately, but you can easily do it for the next grading period. Each month or so, give each student a memo showing what assignments are missing along with which of these may be made up. If the student does it, great! If not, let it impact her grade per your policies.

You'll notice that I advocate making very liberal rules (e.g., 5 minutes after the bell rings, etc.) but that I then stick to them rigorously. That is intentional. Don't treat your students in a way that you would resent being treated -- make it easy for them to comply. But don't budge, and don't get pulled into any drama.

"That's fine, Shaindy. I'm sure you couldn't help being late. However, you'll need to get a note from the office."

"Certainly, Elana, I can see that it would have been impossible for you to do the homework last night. Just remember that you only have three days to make up the assignment."

"Yes, Rabbi and Mrs. Smith, I certainly agree that Malkie's test scores show that she knows the material. Unfortunately, as the girls are aware, 40 percent of the final grade is based on homework assignments, and Malkie chose not to complete any of those."

You'll notice that I'm very careful about the kinds of outcomes I create. I'm not going to tell students that they'll lose points if they come late. Am I really going to want to enforce that when a girl comes traipsing in after visiting her grandmother in the hospital? No. But getting a note from the office implies no approval or disapproval on my part. Am I really going to unleash the forces of evil against the girl who didn't do her homework because, as the oldest, she was taking care of the family when her mother was sick? No. I'm going to have a sensible, adult policy that allows her a certain number of "emergencies" or a reasonable make-up policy.

For many years, I taught writing at the post-secondary level. I assigned approximately six or seven essays over the course of each semester, and my policy was that each student could turn in one essay late with no questions asked. In fact, he/she could turn in that essay up to and including the last day of the semester. But the second or subsequent essays turned in late would have a letter grade deducted. I had excellent results with this policy over the years: students felt more respected, and I can count on one hand the number of grade deductions I actually had to make. Even in those cases, the students were usually philosophical, realizing that they had made a choice, and that I wasn't going to condemn them for it.

Why did this work? Because it removed me from the role of judge and jury. Turn in your assignment late because you were sick or turn it in late because you procrastinated . . . I'm not the academic claims adjuster!

So whatever you can do to dial down the drama that these girls want to create will improve the classroom as well as your frame of mind!

↑ Fox ↓

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 11:27 am

I wasn't so happy with my response about Mr. Clark's book and my explanation of my concerns about Reaching the Stars. I was reluctant to be upfront for fear of causing offense. So let me try this again:

I don't necessarily dismiss any teaching or classroom management technique. Even the most politically incorrect method may be appropriate and effective in certain situations.

What concerns me, though, is the attitude underlying classroom management issues. I find that many people in Jewish education exhibit extraordinary hubris. I suspect that this is in large part a result of seminaries providing a large dose of inspiration about the special role of teachers in transmitting our mesorah -- and too small a dose of practical methodologies. The cause, though, is not really my point.

Reaching the Stars, IMHO, falls into the trap of confusing the teacher and the mesorah. Rather than feeling empathy for her students, the author often demonstrates pity. Rather than reflecting on the fact that Hashem has given us each unique circumstances, she is thankful that her upbringing was so much better than that of her students. Rather than letting Hashem evaluate her "success," she points to her students' ability to marry into choshuve families.

Now, in all fairness, I suspect that this is not Mrs. Shain's true personality or outlook. I know people who knew Mrs. Shain over the years, and they assure me that her perspective is not consistent with the elements of Reaching the Stars that I find objectionable. The book was published many, many years ago, when the editorial standards in English Judaica were considerably less than they are today. I suspect that a savvy editor today would have shaped Mrs. Shain's memoir more carefully.

Nevertheless, I'm opposed to young women, in particular, using the book as a manual. Whether or not the specific techniques work in a given situation, the attitude that comes through the book is not an appropriate one, especially for young or inexperienced teachers. Combine that with the fact that the author is a well-respected figure in the Torah world, and you have the makings of a perfect storm.

So how do I reconcile a lack of hubris with the blase attitude I've been extolling?

The answer comes from Dovid HaMelech. We learn that Dovid HaMelech was an amazingly humble person, yet he was Melech over all Israel. He was required to live a "royal" life and often act decisively or unpopularly. Wasn't this at odds with being humble?

The answer, we learn, is that he did his job as Melech because Hashem had selected him to lead klal Yisroel. Just as he had performed the "job" of tending sheep, he did the "job" of being Melech. It wasn't personal -- it was the job Hashem had told him to do.

Dovid HaMelech continued doing the job of Melech even when faced with incredible cynicism, criticism, and negativity on the part of his subjects. I mean, we're talking about a generation among whom many would live to see the construction of the Beis HaMikdash -- yet they hounded Dovid HaMelech at every turn, questioning his right to be Melech; questioning his Jewishness; siding with his rebellious son against him (talk about an OTD kid!). And Shimi ben Gera did a number that would put any obstreperous student to shame!

But through it all, Dovid HaMelech never wavered in doing his job as Melech. He told Hashem of his anguish, but he continued to do his job. He didn't look to approval ratings among his subjects; he looked to approval ratings from Hashem.

And that's the ideal in reconciling a position of authority with humility. Obviously, most of us can barely imagine that level of authority or nisyonos! But when we walk into a classroom, we should be thinking of Dovid HaMelech. Our job is to lead the "nation" within our classroom effectively. The key word is "effectively." Dovid HaMelech didn't sit down and refuse to lead klal Yisroel because they didn't behave; he addressed those issues he could and davened about those he couldn't. And sometimes, like with Shimi ben Gera, he chose to overlook misbehavior in lieu of a greater good.