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Tweedledee ↓

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:33 pm

I'm gathering material for a comedy routine I'm supposed to be doing in february on motherhood. please tell me funny stories/situations about anything motherhood related, things your kids do, things you do, attitude changes, husbands with kids, ect.

Luvinglife ↓

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:35 pm

Husband with kids? Come on, have you ever ledt your husband to babysit kids for no matter how long and come home to find the kids not sleeping? Don't get me started on that!

↑ Luvinglife

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:37 pm

My daughter asks me how much I weigh. I answered twenty six. Now, it just happens to be that besides for weighing 26 pounds ;-) I am also 26 years old.
So this friday my mother asks my daughter how old she is, and she answers.. 30!

momsprince ↓

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:41 pm

dveibel wrote:

Husband with kids? Come on, have you ever ledt your husband to babysit kids for no matter how long and come home to find the kids not sleeping? Don't get me started on that!

you mean the husband "not" sleeping... lol

↑ momsprince

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:45 pm

dveibel wrote:

DS keeps on saying when he'll be 7 he'll be a father (he's 3) one day he asks me "how much are you? 10?"

↑ Tweedledee

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:48 pm

dveibel wrote:

Husband with kids? Come on, have you ever ledt your husband to babysit kids for no matter how long and come home to find the kids not sleeping? Don't get me started on that!

yes please get started. I am having serious writers block.I need inspiration and fresh perspectives. . all the ridiculous details and absurdities you got are welcome.

Mini Cookie

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 8:53 pm

I watched a mother with her 4 & 6 year old at the pizza shop! I shouldve video taped it for you! They walked through the door & immediately started arguing about the seating arrangements, then went the ordering & who got more french fries & exasperated mom keeping her cool (not)...I'm glad I don't have any ketchup in my shaitel...

LiLIsraeli

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 9:10 pm

Today my husband said to 2-year-old DS, "Somebody's tired..." and DS yelled back, "NO KIDDING!"

We both burst out laughing and poor DS thought we were making fun of him and started to cry. Sad

TwinsMommy

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 9:34 pm

Direct quote from Reena from last week (she turned 4 today):

Mommy, I want money.

(why?)

So I can buy pennies. Oh, and diamonds.

bnm

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 10:49 pm

we told my daughter (2) that she is going to be a Curiouse George on Purim, I was preparing her for the fact that she would wear the costume by the professional pictures that we recently took. she only wanted to know if she will get a bike too- the CG book that she likes best is the one where he gets a bike...

aqua

Sun, Jan 09 2011, 11:04 pm

My 3 yr old daughter is learning about vegetables in nursery so last week everyone had to bring a veg for a soup they were making together. She came home that day and I asked her 'what vegetables did your friends bring, so she said "S/one brought a potato, s/one else a carrot, onion, pepper etc....but Mommy - no one brought a kneidel!!"

exhausted

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 4:49 am

My 5 yr old DD asked me the other day: Mommy are you old? Do all old people get those things on their faces (wrinkles)? No, I don't have any wrinkles yet!!

geemum ↓

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:15 am

My DD (2) didn't want her vegetable soup, she pointed to the pizza that I was serving on the main table. I told her
"First soup, then pizza"
She understand, so she takes ONE SPOON of soup - pushes it away, and smiles at me a big grin and says "Now Pizza"!

I stubbed my toe, and cried "ow!". My DD comes over to me to hug me and gives me a kiss then says "All better now, no more ow"

My DS (4) says that now we can talk Lashon Harah because there is no Beis Hamikdash (I think he got confused between korbonas or something that they were learning in school)

cuties' mom

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:23 am

geemum wrote:

I stubbed my toe, and cried "ow!". My DD comes over to me to hug me and gives me a kiss then says "All better now, no more ow"

That reminds me of a friend of mine who's mother was very sick before she died. Her mother was crying and said "It hurts so much!" Her daughter gave her a kiss. Her mother said "It didn't help." The daughter said "You mean you lied to me all these years?!"

Aylat

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:43 am

DD (5) and DS (3.5) shouting at the tops of their voices veeery early in the morning, playing some kind of teacher game. I burrow under my quilt and consider whether I should get up and quieten them before they wake up all our guests. Then I hear DD shout, "If you do that one more time, I'm going to SHOOT you!" and couldn't stop laughing. They say that kids imitate what they hear their parents and teachers say....I don't know what they're doing at school, bec I've never said that! Wink

(They go to a great school b'H)

But I suppose I shouldn't despair of my kids' chinuch yet, bec the next evening they were getting ready for bed and I came back into the room to hear DD say to DS, "Let's pretend I'm an old lady who's crying and you're the tzaddik who comes and gives her a cup of tea to make her feel better." awwww.

Some individual vignettes..

I was trying to say goodbye to DD when I left for the hospital to give birth to the latest edition (b'H), but she was too absorbed, "I've cut the dolly open, and now I'm looking to see what's wrong with her so I can put some medicine in." The changing table was the operating table, and some toys were being used in an unconventional but surprisingly realistic manner. (My DH is a doctor, don't know if that's affected the kids at all Wink

)

3.5 yo DS is obsessed with animals. "Lets play an animal game!" he exclaimed. "Sure sweety," I responded. "Yes," he said, his eyes alight with excitement. "I'll be the lion and everyone else can be gazelles!"

One morning heard snarling noise coming from under the bed. Realised after a minute it was my DS.

1.5 yo DS loves to copy 3.5 yo so they both crawl round the house making menacing growly noises. But it amuses me to think about their different perspectives. Whereas 3.5 yo is vigorously role playing a lion/bear, 1.5 yo is just engaging in an interesting activity.

↑ geemum

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:52 am

I just thought of another one....

On shabbos friday night, my DD (4) wasn't eating his meal. I told him he needs to eat before he can have ice cream for dessert. He says
"You're so mean"
I said if he wants a mummy who lets him have ice cream before healthy food, he needs to find one. He answers
"but those mummies maybe don't read special stories before bed".
I told him to choose which mummy he prefers:
He says one that gives ice cream AND reads stories!!

Eventually he conceded and said he chooses the mommy that gives storeis :-) like his mommy does

hadasa ↓

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 5:53 am

There was a really funny thread here a while ago with all sorts of horrifying scenarios. Kids who made #2 all over the gymboree and things like that. Maybe someone can link it?

↑ hadasa

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:04 am

I found it, it's called "horrendous poopy accident - can you top this? "

ETA - I just reread the thread, but it's not the one I was looking for. This one is all on one topic. The thread I had in mind had varying embarrassing scenarios.

ETA - found it, it's called "what trouble has your toddler done"

chmom

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 11:41 am

I was once on a bus with a mother and what appeared to be her 5 year old. The entire ride (40 mins) the child asked her mother "Mommy, why... Mommy what...."every few seconds. Toward the end of the ride we passed some highrise appartement buildings, the child asked:
"Mommy, who lives here?
Mother: "People"
Child: "what kind of people?"
Mother: "Men, women and children"
Child: "what kind of men, women and children?"
Mother: "I don't know"
Child: "Why don't you know?"
Mother (in an attempt to shut her up) "Because I'm not omnicient"
Child (after2 beats)" Mommy why are you not omnicient?"
I was ROFL

the world's best mom

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 12:22 pm

When dd was 2, we had a guest for Shabbos. By one of the meals, we were getting ready to bentch, so our guest got up and put on his hat and jacket. Dd saw and said, "Bye! Thank you for coming."

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