I don't know what to do

amother ↓

Sat, Jan 01 2011, 11:09 pm

This year, I took a teaching job in a different school. The deal was, the salary is much lower than I wanted so the administrator promised me faithfully that although he couldn't pay me more he would make sure I was paid by the 15th of every month.

It's now Jan 1 and so far, I've been paid until October 15th. I am desperate and I heard about a very well paying job (not teaching.) It's double what I'm supposed to be getting, less hours, no preparation and so on. I'm very well qualified, the ad could have had my name on it. the boss was just about to offer it to me on the phone, it's a real company, but I said I'd like to meet with him. It's an executive-type position, varied duties, things I'm very capable of doing.

the thing is, I feel very, very torn. I love teaching, my students are great, the staff are wonderful, it's like one big family. I even persuaded them to buy a new teaching series (government funds!) However, the Principal has told me twice recently that she's not sure if the school will be able to survive past this year. The school is VERY happy with me as a teacher.

My DH & children are pushing to take the new job, but it means walking out on the school. I really need the money (this isn't just to keep me busy.) I know the administrator will promise me everything, but they can't even pay any of us so I know they can't match this. I feel terrible, but I lie awake at night worrying how I can make a simcha or do much-needed repairs, or make Yom tov. There have been times when I had 12 days to go till DH got paid & there was nothing in the bank after the mortgage & utilities & gemachs & loans & less than $50 in my purse. Unfortunately, these bad times happen about 10 times a year. there isn't any money for any luxuries like trips or gifts or ocassional evenings out.

WWYD? I have to say that having no money is affecting my Sholom Bayis. My DH is literally ill from it all, he works very hard and gets abused at work but if he says anything he's afraid they'll fire him - there are so many people who'd grab his job. My good name means a lot to me, but OTOH, the school has broken its promises (last year's teachers haven't been paid yet for May and June.)

Thanks for any advice. Please don't tell me to tutor it's not an option. At the moment I feel sick and I wish I hadn't gone after it because now I have to make a decision. Do I do what's best for my family knowing I'll cause the school problems or what's ethically/morally right, I know, no one is indispensible but still. It will inconvenience them a lot.

If you think I should go, what should I say? Sorry to be so pathetic. Sad

Fabulous ↓

Sat, Jan 01 2011, 11:43 pm

You are not pathetic! You are doing what's right for your family.

I would ask a shaila re: contract and mentchlachkeit (sp?) just in case. But in my eyes, it's open and shut, you took a lower paying job with the promise that it would be on time. Not only are they late, they are VERY late and don't see a time coming when that might change. And as much as I feel for the school and your students, I also feel for you, your husband and children and charity begins at home.

Hatzlacha in whatever decision you make and please let us know what happens.

↑ amother ↓

Sat, Jan 01 2011, 11:49 pm

I think I will call my rav. He knows how tough things are for us, he even arranged a Gemach for us embarrassed

Thank you for that idea. I actually don't have a contract, I asked about one at the interview and they said they don't do that, mumbled something about honor etc. I don't remember exactly what they said at the time.

SingALong

Sun, Jan 02 2011, 12:29 am

If u do decide to taje the new job, Do u know anyone looking for a teaching job that can replace you? Perhaps if you leave them with someone to take over u then at least they won't be left in a lurch of who should teach. Maybe someone who is good but looking for experience so may not mind the lack of salary as much, or someone who loves to teach but maybe doesnt need the money?

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Jan 02 2011, 8:08 am

I hear your dilemma, and as a teacher I can see why you are torn- but if I was in your shoes I would have to take the new job. first of all, its offering more than what our *meant to be getting now and it sounds like you and your family could really use the money. secondly, you haven't been paid for Oct and Dec, this after you settled on a lower payment on the proviso that you were paid by the 15th of each month. I would contact the school and let them know how torn you are- that you love the school and the job, but they must appreciate that you need to do whats right for your family and at the moment that makes taking a job in an environment that can guarantee to pay on time and can offer you more money.

If this job is truly less hours etc- and you dont want to give out the teaching experience perhaps you can take on some tutoring even a Sunday teaching job (I did that for a while when things were tough here)

what ever you choose I wish you luck and hope the finances get sorted soon.

imayekara

Sun, Jan 02 2011, 8:11 am

I am a teacher and I was made all sorts of promises from my principal which never came true especially regarding my salary. Unlike u my students were very difficult (Israeli) and there was a ton of preparation, one of my kids got sick and then the other and after agonizing over it my husband and I decided that for what I was making it was just not worth me working full time and having our baby in care.
I decided to pull out, I cant say they were thrilled but you owe it to your family to put them first and that includes in my humble opinion getting a higher paying job if you could. Its great to love teaching and I really do love teaching but if my whole family suffers because of it why am I doing it?

I know that tutoring is not always an option I have small kids and they are home between 4 and 6 when they need me the most and thats when people want tutoring.
I say move on.

Good luck.

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Jan 02 2011, 8:13 am

I think it's a no brainer. Al Pi Halacha, your employer is required to pay you in a timely manner and it's clear they're not. Plus there's the added worry that they may not open their doors next year and well, the fact that you haven't gotten paid is a giant indication that that is very likely.

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Jan 02 2011, 3:02 pm

OP here. thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot. I just spoke to my Rav and he said absolutely I must leave, but he advised me to make sure that I would be paid here. Of course, we know that everyone can have the best intentions and it doesn't always work out, but I'll try to get something in writing.

I have a meeting with the new place on Tuesday and then I'll go see the Hanhala if everything seems good. I don't know how much notice I should give, but I'll let you know what happens. Thank you all again for your encouragement.

↑ amother

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 7:26 pm

OP here: I got the job. I actually did some work for this new place as a trial and they said to day "it would be an honor to have me work there." That was very nice! Very Happy

They think I'm smart and capable. I hope I can live up to their confidence.

I had to explain to the school what happened. I was actually very honest and the Principal was really sorry but so nice & understanding. Honestly, this school is wonderful if you don't need the money. But since I got home I've had 2 calls from the Dean (I only answered one). He is promising me the earth & says on Monday he'll pay me everything & guarantee what he promised me originally and I should please reconsider. To get off the phone I said I'd talk to DH but it won't make a difference. I can't stay, I'll be losing out on a 80%+ raise but at the same time I need the few thousand they owe me. I think I may just have to write off the back pay as mieser (sp) & move on. I know DH will tell me to grab what I'm owed and leave because I earned the money but I think that's kicking them when they're down. I can just hear the argument when he comes home.

It's a mess and I feel so bad I can't even work up any enthusiasm for the new job. Sad

MamaChips

Sun, Jan 16 2011, 10:28 pm

Deep breathe. You did the right thing. If you were independently wealthy and did this, people might wonder. However, if you are struggling and not getting paid for the work you're doing, it's nobody's fault but the school's. I know it's hard, but rest easily knowing that you did the right thing for your family and yourself - and that's important.

Hug

and

Hatzlacha rabba in the new position.

↑ Fabulous

Sun, Jan 16 2011, 10:35 pm

Thank you so much for updating us. A lot of hatzlacha, mazal, and parnassa in your new position.

btw, I can imagine if I was in the same position, my dh would also have the same issue.

RoseSharon ↓

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 3:20 pm

Thank you for getting out of that situation. My DH is in the same situation now and only because PS are not hiring. You have saved yourself and your family.

nicole81

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 3:21 pm

RoseSharon wrote:

Thank you for getting out of that situation. My DH is in the same situation now and only because PS are not hiring. You have saved yourself and your family.

is your dh looking for a job? what is his area of certification?

↑ RoseSharon

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 3:24 pm

HS math and is fully certified w/a masters coming in June. He will be BEH in feb working as a long term sub till june in a PS so it will not be so bad but I am not working at all and am looking for a job in spec ed.