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amother
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 5:42 pm
Im currently working with a four year old child who is selectively mute. She speaks at home but not in school. B"h over the last few months I have seen progress in school. The thing is we've come to a dead end now, and I'm not sure how to move her further.Anyone with experience in the field? What do you find helps to get them talking when working with these children? TIA
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observer
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 7:30 pm
I've worked with children who have selective mutism. firstly, be very low key about her talking. dont pressure her to talk and if she does talk, dont make a big deal. pretend its the most normal thing.
do fun and silly activities and games with her to make her laugh and let down her guard. You may feel silly but talk and answer yourself. dont pressure her to answer. be goofy and silly. "Oh here are my gloves. Its a good thing I found them because my head is very cold". put them on your head. "do they go on my head? of course not! they go on my toes!!" this gives her opportunities to correct you or even if she doesnt talk, to just laugh and open up.
If not working, try including another child who is verbal and fun. this way she may get caught up in the fun and wont feel so pressured.
when you do think there is a chance she may talk, look the other way. if she says something, react as if its the most regular normal everyday occurance. If you make a big deal of when she opens her mouth, she'll clam up right away.
when she sees that u dont react when she talks, she'll prob feel comf to talk more. she sees that its safe.
another really effective tool which I dont know if you're able to do is to go to her home. I've done this with kids and it worked wonders. if she talks at home, she may even talk while youre there. initially, pretend to be a fly on the wall. talk to her mother, siblings... Hopefully she will start talking. same thing about not reacting. you can respond, but as if its normal.dont make a big deal of it. Then you can try talking to her in the home. gradually try to generalize that to school. once she sees that its safe to talk in your presence, and that you have "seen her talk", she may talk to you in school.
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Liba
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 7:33 pm
My selectively mute child was able to speak to teachers and therapists on the phone long before she could speak to them face to face.
The main thing was, no pressure. No rewards offered, no cheering if it happens, don't pressure or push the child to speak and don't make a big deal if they don't speak either.
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gryp
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 7:57 pm
I had a selectively mute 4 yr old child. (I've posted this many times.) Like the others said: No pressure to talk and do not even bat an eyelash if/when she does talk. That is the most important thing. Also: DON'T try and bribe them into talking, it destroys their self-confidence, because they want whatever it is really badly but cannot bring themselves to "earn" it, which makes them upset at themselves, and it gets worse from there.
Secondly, what we did was we brought in a home video of my son talking to school for the teachers to watch in the classroom- with my son's permission. He watched them watch him on video and when he saw lightning didn't strike when his voice was heard, he was able to think that it's okay for them to hear his voice.
We also got permission to work with him in the classroom before school started for the day. It was like an orientation all over again, but drawn out over a full month's time. It was only him and us in the classroom and we were eventually able to get him comfortable, relaxed, and acting natural in the classroom- first without his classmates present.
Once that was all accomplished, he was able to verbalize his needs to his teachers. It took another 6 months or so for him to ask the teachers for something that he wanted (not that he needed, ie. an extra paintbrush) and at the same time he suddenly felt comfortable enough to speak to a few of his classmates.
He continued improving over the years, and now 3 years later, guess who is Mr. Popular.
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Tova
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 7:59 pm
OP, I have no experience in this, but if you get Binah (or can get your hand on it) last week's issue had an article about selective mutism...written by a former selective mute who now works in the education field helping children overcome this challenge.
Hatzlacha!
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gumdrop
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 8:08 pm
I have a friend whos daughter was selective mute. She had a horrible experience with the teacher who thought pressure will help her. She withheld privelages, B-day parties and so on. She told her if she will talk she will get it. Well it only got worse. So make sure zero talk about the issue.
Someone told my friend to send her daughter with diff interesting things to school so the teacher has something to talk to her about even if she didn't talk back to the teacher. For ex. a new headband, pin, ribbon, keychain boots etc,
This did help a little.
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amother
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 10:22 pm
Thanks so much everyone for your advice. The thing is that at this point, the child is talking to me out of the classroom. And even in the classroom, she responds to questions I ask, although it's in a really low voice. I'm at a standstill now and don't know how to move further in getting her to speak with her peers... Thanks again for all the tips
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flowerpower
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 10:25 pm
I was working in a classroom with a selective mute child. The teacher was amazing how she worked with the child. She gained her trust by him and slowly and softly got words out of him. It is a great that that you want to help the child. I hope there ends up being great results by the time the year ends.
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gryp
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Sun, Dec 26 2010, 11:26 pm
I would try to get the child talking to me in all types of settings- outside, in the office, in a different classroom, in different parts of the classroom, in the bathroom, etc.
I would also take the child out with a classmate he doesn't feel threatened by and try and get him to feel comfortable enough to talk in front of the other kid. Once he can talk to one child, you can expand it to two and three, and then see if he'll talk in front of those specific children in the classroom itself. And it goes on from there as the child gains confidence.
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mama mia
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Mon, Dec 27 2010, 12:03 am
I worked with a selectively mute child who had not spoken to his teacher the entire year (I started working with him in April or May).
A few things were really helpful:
Those pharmacy kids microphones that echo voices
Books that say things when you push buttons - J had kids in a circle and we would all imitate the words together in a whisper, and eventually one by one (so that boy would speak himself) and eventually in louder voices.
It may be easier to start out with a game like "Who knows what sound this animal makes....?" Because it's less threatening for the child to make non-word sounds at first.
Good luck!! It's a big job and every tiny step is it's own reward.
In my case, the boy finally FINALLY spoke to his teacher on THE LAST day of school T'G.
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