working fulltime | Imamother

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 1:59 am

OOOOkkk what aabout me? I would have a nervous breakdown if I worked at
this stage in my life. People don't get it. One kid what in heavens do you do all day.
Thats right I f off doing lots of lazy things. This is not a joke post.
Rather just saying don't judge. I am mentally ill and battling a disease. No one knows. It
looks like I am a lazy fart. Oh well. I spend a lot of time in therapy and Davening for healing.
Thank G-d I have a dh who loves me as I am and is supportive. Could we use the money. Hell yeah!
But me being dead is better then a wife that is pushed beyond her capabilities at this time.
Do we and will be re-evaluate in time. Of course,. But this is how it is now.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 6:18 am

However, I have come to believe that kids need to see their parents work!

kids need to see thier parents take care of themselves and have some time for themselves yes. but need to see them work? shock

what has theis world come to? to work for necessity ok... but now its come to that its better for kids to not have quantity time with parents and that its good??? thats like the poeple who say its good to leave a six week old baby with a daycare center, they need the interatcion. I strongly disagree and I think its time for our focus to go back to what is right. kids need thier mothers and fathers in thier lives. to kids love= time. yes, sometimes its not possible and we can explain that to our children and iyh they will be ok. but that its better then staying with our kids and being there for them when they need us most? I just had to comment because it really bothered me.

↑ wannagrow

Wed, Jun 16 2010, 6:41 am

What I think is an even bigger issue is the men-- do they see the value of their wives staying home to be mommy? I've heard one too many times: "What in the world did you do all day...?" or "if you worked and made money then maybe you would understand..." ugghhh!! Sad but realistically true the men with working woves seem to appreciate them and respect them more; help out more at home, make Shabbos a more fair experience (I.e. sharing naps vs sleeping 6 hrs on a summer shab afternoon cause "hey- I work so hard all week and what do YOU do?").

OheivYisrael

Fri, Jun 18 2010, 10:15 am

I agree with almost everything that's been said above (even though a lot of ppl contradict each other)-- everything is true in certain circumstances.

I do feel a need to mention, though, what I learned from my own personal experience. I work F/T (40+ hours a week, with 3 hours of commuting every day), and only took off 6 weeks of maternity leave before returning F/T. Granted, I've been working from home at least one day a week since then.

However, I found that when I was home pp I was a mess. Maybe it's because it was so soon after having a baby, and my recovery was a bit difficult, but I barely got anything done around the house, I was living in my pjs, etc. When I went back to work I got my act together. Really quickly. Wouldn't have happened if I would've stayed home longer.

It was tough, but my circumstances made me ok with it (things like a husband who's able to help out, having an awesome frum babysitter, etc. really make a difference). I get social interaction, time to myself, intellectual stimulation, and in a way, I feel more rested when I'm working. I sit at a desk instead of running around all day. I have a plan when I'm at home, and accomplish tons on Sundays. On Monday I come in tired, and look forward to getting a break in the office.

I'm not going to argue that this is the ideal, at all, and I am dreaming about the day when I get to quit, but as others have mentioned before me, let's not delude ourselves into thinking that being a SAHM is best for everyone-- even wonderful loving mothers.

Also, all this talk about what if your husband made tons of money so you could afford basic needs (let's include tuition in that) + save as much as you'd like, to the point where money is no object... well, I don't really know too many people like that. Unless the husbands are working really crazy hours, or have become partner in a firm or something like that (which means that they USED to work crazy hours). Now, I assume that most of us here would rather not have husbands working like that...