Reward for ONE 2.66 year old?

tovarena

Mon, May 17 2010, 3:28 pm

Hey all,
We're a bit at wit's end. DD has suddenly become VERRRYYYY willful and misbehaving. It's been about week or two now. Our tried and true escalating timeouts aren't working right now. She'll just tell us no and refuse timeout. If we put her in her crib (the final escalation), she sits there quietly until we come to get her and then will come back down and go right back to doing the wrong action (even after we've spoken with her and she's agreed to behave). We've tried other take-aways (early bedtime, no shabbos treats, etc.) while her twin brother gets to stay up/have treats/whatever. But we're getting nowhere so I'm thinking it's time to change tactics - perhaps a sticker chart for incentivizing them. The question is, what sort of incentives/rewards can you think of for an almost 3 year old that's just THEIRS and not their sibling's. Right now, aside from clothes and their crib, they really have no private property. So if we give one a toy/gift, the other will play with it, too. I'm not thrilled with giving food incentives, though I'd consider it. So I'm just looking for ideas/input. Any other things we can offer that if the behaving child gets, the other is not likely to just immediately hijack?

Thanks!

TwinsMommy

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 12:20 am

for boy/girl twins maybe clothing would be fun--- a special skirt for your girlie. I know my daughter is in LOVE with her new sandals and is thrilled that her brother can't wear them.

When timeouts aren't so productive, we give long timeouts to the toy or object causing the problem. Today Reena was standing on chairs, so the chairs went to a different room after we had already tried a timeout with her that didn't work (she went right back to doing it when she was allowed out). If she rips certain books, she doesn't get to see those books the rest of the day.

Good luck!

May

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 12:51 am

My twins are much younger, but some ideas that popped in my head were:

- something gender specific. TM suggested clothing which sounds like a good one, and I was thinking along the lines of toys (if there is a gender specific toy your son wont play with). Or maybe something girlie like painting her nails or the like.

- private time with you or dh. Perhaps as a reward she can go somewhere or do some activity with one of you that her brother doesn't join in on.

On the other hand, you want to steer clear of giving her rewards for not doing certain behaviors, when her brother hasn't been doing these behaviors all along and was never rewarded. You don't want him starting up b/c he sees that as a means of eventually getting rewarded.

Good Luck!

RachelEve14

Sun, Jun 06 2010, 2:15 am

As they get older, they will have some toys that are only theirs, and they will know which are which. Some single possessions in our house are dolls, strollers, some puzzles, stuffed animals, etc. Also now they they have separate friends they get separate presents for birthdays, etc. They do wind up sharing, but I feel it's very important for htem to have things that are only theirs so they can learn to choose to share. If everything is hefker they never get to figure out what is theirs, how to share it, etc.