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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
Shopmiami49
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Thu, Jan 14 2010, 5:35 am
So here's the deal. I love to buy my dh presents...but he hates that I spend money that we don't have on them. I've tried saving up and then buying him something, but I don't think that he appreciates that much either. He is not so into food, so I don't think that is such an option either. For his b-day, I am thinking of something more along the creative line that I can make for him, or just something cutesy. he learns, not works, so I can't really make him something for his desk. Any ideas??
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smilingmom
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Thu, Jan 14 2010, 7:51 am
Three months ago, I learned to crochet on You Tube and made DH a scarf and earmuffs he can wear with his hat.
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Shopmiami49
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Thu, Jan 14 2010, 8:02 am
That would be an awesome idea...except that he would never wear it. He's one of those who claims that it's never cold enough to wear scarf, gloves, hat, etc. But thanks for the suggestion!
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Thu, Jan 14 2010, 8:40 am
Send him a birthday card via email - it's free. Add to it warm, or rather, steaming blessings.
or
If you need something for yourself, buy it, wrap it up and present it to him as a gift and tell him "I can't imagine you'd be happier than getting your wife a nice gift."
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louche
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Thu, Jan 14 2010, 9:49 am
Difficult as it may be for many imamothers to believe, there are people who prefer not to receive gifts, at least not gifts as many of us know them, I.e. something you buy or make and wrap up in a box with a ribbon.
OTOH, such people may be very happy when people do nice things for them, either things they should do themselves but don't like to/don't have time to/ don't know how to, or luxury-type things that they wouldn't think to do for themselves. Like what? Oh, I don't know...have his tallis dry-cleaned or his tefillin checked or his siddur that was his grandfather's rebound. Or spend no money and polish his becher yourself, or fix something of his that he hasn't gotten around to.
Or maybe your dh is more into verbal expression of love and appreciation and wouldn't notice or care if you had a full-length oil painting of him put in the dining room. Then you'll need to do come up with a song, a poem, a prose poem, a sentimental card, something in the way of a verbal gift.
Check out the book "The Five Love Languages" that goes into great depth about how different people express and want to receive expressions of love. If a person believes that "Love means doing things ," as opposed to "love means giving things" , then handing him the crown jewels won't mean much to him but having his old guitar tuned will. If he believes that "love means saying things," then don't bother making him a special dinner for his birthday but instead compose a mushy expressive letter, and if he believes that "Love is spending time together," then all the love poetry in the world is not going to do it for him. Like anything else, most people aren't all one or the other; they will usually appreciate more than one type of giving, but tend more heavily towards one or two.
One final note: if your main way of expressing love is through material gifts, you will need to educate your dh to understand that. For many people, giving a material gift is something they do for themselves in a way, because that is how they express love. By preventing you from giving the kind of gifts you want to give, dh is in effect handcuffing you. He needs to learn that rejecting your efforts to give him gifts is an act of selfishness; by graciously accepting gifts from you, he is allowing you to express love your way and giving you the gift of acceptance.
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mae1984
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Tue, Feb 23 2010, 5:53 am
How about a beautiful framed photo of the two of you (and if you have hcildren then them as well!)
Or a family tree?
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Chocoholic
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Tue, Feb 23 2010, 8:05 am
Bake him heart shaped cookies... or a cute cake
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solo
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Tue, Feb 23 2010, 9:42 am
1. book of coupons.
that was my favourite cheap bday gift. I always remember the time I was really mad at dh and heard him ruffling through his drawer. it suddenly occured to me, and I said u better not b looking for ur coupons. so he came over and handed me the one that said my mistake/ get out of jail free. w both had a laugh.
other cheap gifts:
2. bake him a cake
3. buy him a card - or make ur own. my dh always gets a kick out of me doing this.
4. for my dh's 1st job I bought him an ordinary $15 wallet and stuck a photo of us in it. I also put in a card that said yehi ratzon yeshimalei hashem kol mishalot libcha... ki lo ha kessef he hakikar. dh really liked it.
5. dunno if they still have this offer but I got dha gevalia coffee maker for free with $10 purchase of coffee. we dont use it anymore cuz it takes up too much space but it was exciting for a minute.
6. is his bday purim time? can u get him something purim related?
ive heard of people making colages and songs and ... it all seems so girly and campy to me I cant imagine any dh loving it but maybe some do?
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busydev
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Tue, Feb 23 2010, 5:01 pm
I did a coupon/gift certificate booklet for his birthday.
My friend wrote 24 reasons why she loves him and framed it with a picture- it was very pretty. (24th bday)
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Hashemlovesme
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Mon, May 10 2010, 5:13 am
I know this thread is old, but it's still a good idea
Buy one of those mugs (for like $1.50 @ Walmart) that you can decorate/make a collage or quotes, or put pics... it's creative, personal & cheap!
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