Hi Need help from people good in writing.

amother ↓

Thu, Feb 25 2010, 10:24 am

So I need to write a letter to an editor for one of my H&ntr class about an administrate problem can you proof read this and tell me how it sounds? ( I am really bad at spelling and grammar)
Here it is Thank you all in advance!

February 25, 2010
RE:
Dear Editor:
In a recent visit to my dentist I was told that I needed a root canal on one of my back molars. I was upset, but confident that my Dentist and Insurance would take care of me; this wasn’t my first root cannel so I was familiar with the routine. My Doctor started working on me that day and within in three visits my tooth was as good as new.
A few weeks after my last visit to the dentist I received a bill for $600.00. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. My Dentist as well as my insurance company had failed to notify me that they were no longer covering the cap and crown. I was lucky enough to set up a payment plan with my dentist to pay the bill.
My reason for writing you today is that I don’t want this to happen to other patients. Dentist and insurance companies alike should inform their patients when insurances policies change. It is unfair especially in this economic downturn that insurance companies are not making an effort for their clients to let them of know the changes they are making.

onlyme ↓

Thu, Feb 25 2010, 12:45 pm

amother wrote:

Most of it is good. (Hey, OP, you're not as bad as you make yourself out to be!)

I'll try, although I'm sure I'm overlooking some things. (I'll put the mistakes in bold, and write the correct version here)

1) "within in three weeks" should read "within three weeks" (skip the word "in")

2) "A few weeks after my last visit to the dentist": put a comma after the word "dentist"

3) "My Dentist as well as my insurance company": put a comma after the word "dentist" and another one after the word "company"

4) "Dentist and insurance companies alike": Change the word "dentist" to "dentists" (plural)

5) "insurances policies": "insurance" does not have to be plural. I think it's ok to skip the word "insurance" and just write "when policies change".

6) "It is unfair especially in this economic downturn": put a comma after the word "unfair" and another one after the word "downturn"

7) "are not making an effort for their clients to let them of know the changes they are making": This sentence is a bit unclear. I think you should change it to "are not making an effort to let their clients know about the changes they are making".

I think that covers the bulk of it, although I'm not completely sure. Please, can someone correct my corrections, if need be?

OP, Good luck!

merelyme

Thu, Feb 25 2010, 12:59 pm

amother wrote:

Corrections within the text below - just copy and paste it if you'd like. BTW, this kind of change might be illegal - check it out, and if it is, include that in the final sentence.

February 25, 2010
RE: Change in insurance coverage
Dear Editor:
At a recent visit to my dentist, I was told that I needed a root canal on one of my back molars. I was upset, but confident that my dentist and insurance company would take care of me. This wasn’t my first root canal so I was familiar with the routine. My dentist started working on me that day and within three visits my tooth was as good as new.
A few weeks after my last visit, to the dentist I received a bill for $600.00. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. Neither my dentist nor my insurance company had notified me that the insurance would no longer cover the cost of a cap and a crown.
Luckily, I able to arrange a payment plan with my dentist to cover the bill.
My reason for writing you today is that I don’t want this to happen to other patients. Dentist and insurance companies alike should inform their patients when an insurance policy changes. It is unreasonable, especially in the current economic climate, for an insurance company to implement a change in coverage without informing clients.
Thank you,
Your name

↑ onlyme

Thu, Feb 25 2010, 1:07 pm

merelyme wrote:

amother wrote:

Corrections within the text below - just copy and paste it if you'd like. BTW, this kind of change might be illegal - check it out, and if it is, include that in the final sentence.

February 25, 2010
RE: Change in insurance coverage
Dear Editor:
At a recent visit to my dentist, I was told that I needed a root canal on one of my back molars. I was upset, but confident that my dentist and insurance company would take care of me. This wasn’t my first root canal so I was familiar with the routine. My dentist started working on me that day and within three visits my tooth was as good as new.
A few weeks after my last visit, to the dentist I received a bill for $600.00. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. Both my dentist and my insurance company had failed to notify me that they wpuld no longer cover the cost of a cap and a crown.
Luckily, I able to arrange a payment plan with my dentist to cover the bill.
My reason for writing you today is that I don’t want this to happen to other patients. Dentist and insurance companies alike should inform their patients when an insurance policy changes. It is unreasonable, especially in the current economic climate, for an insurance company to implement a change in coverage without informing clients.
Thank you,
Your name

Sorry for butting in, but the comma in the bolded sentence belongs after the word "dentist", not after the word "visit".
(Also, fix the typo in the word "would")
The other bolded sentence should read "Luckily, I was able to arrange..."
"Dentist and insurance companies alike": should either read "dentists and insurance companies alike" (both plural) or "dentist and insurance company alike" (both singular). (Although I think that both plural makes more sense.)

Sorry again.