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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
How much cash did you get as wedding gifts?
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| 1,000-5,000 |
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24% |
[ 26 ] |
| 5,000-10,000 |
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30% |
[ 32 ] |
| 10,000-20,000 |
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20% |
[ 21 ] |
| 20,000-30,000 |
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13% |
[ 14 ] |
| 30,000-40,000 |
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0% |
[ 1 ] |
| 40,000-50,000 |
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3% |
[ 4 ] |
| Negligible Amount |
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5% |
[ 6 ] |
| Over 50,000 |
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0% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 105 |
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fmt4
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 Thu, Dec 03 2009, 8:53 pm
After reading the other thread, I'm wondering what's the norm...
You can adjust for inflation. 
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nicole81
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Thu, Dec 03 2009, 8:56 pm
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dh and I paid for our entire (cheap) wedding and basically got back everything and netted $500. phew!!
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neverbored
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Fri, Dec 04 2009, 12:01 pm
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If I remember correctly, about $1,200
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Rodent
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:34 am
Gosh, some people here got a LOT of money  I don't remember exactly but it was in the 1-5000 range, about middle of that I think. It all went to pay for immigration expenses.
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amother
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 6:58 pm
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I think we got about 3,000 dollars, which went to pay for the wedding.
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amother
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:06 pm
Not to be rude, but how could you get so little? Do you not have a lot of family or friends? Were you married a very long time ago? Did you get mostly housewares rather than cash?
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amother
Tangerine
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:12 pm
That is rude.
In different countries, there are different standards. Not every guest gives $200. I spoke to a kallah recently who said where she's from, the standard is to give a gift worth about (the equivalent of) $50. Where I live, 20 or so people pool together whatever they can manage to get the couple a gift like a food processor. Some people don't give a gift at all.
B"H, ka"h, that wasn't our situation.
Last edited by amother on Sun, Oct 18 2020, 8:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:30 pm
| ChSh wrote: | That is rude.
In different countries, there are different standards. Not every guest gives $200. I spoke to a kallah recently who said where she's from, the standard is to give a gift worth about (the equivalent of) $50. Where I live, 20 or so people pool together whatever they can manage to get the couple a gift like a food processor. Some people don't give a gift at all.
B"H, ka"h, that wasn't our situation. |
$50 per person is totally normal, but that doesn't equal $600 unless you only know 13 people. Where I live it depends on how close the people are to the kallah and chosson. Someone who doesn't know them very well, like a neighbor or member of the same shul will give $25-100, while family friends and family will give $100-300 and very close family and friends anywhere from $500-the high thousands.
I can't imagine 20 close friends chipping in for a $50 food processor but I guess in Israel it's very different.
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Atali
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:37 pm
Amother, do you live in NY by any chance?
Realize that the rest of the world does not spend money the way Nyers do.
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sympa
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 7:44 pm
| amother wrote: | | ChSh wrote: | That is rude.
In different countries, there are different standards. Not every guest gives $200. I spoke to a kallah recently who said where she's from, the standard is to give a gift worth about (the equivalent of) $50. Where I live, 20 or so people pool together whatever they can manage to get the couple a gift like a food processor. Some people don't give a gift at all.
B"H, ka"h, that wasn't our situation. |
$50 per person is totally normal, but that doesn't equal $600 unless you only know 13 people. Where I live it depends on how close the people are to the kallah and chosson. Someone who doesn't know them very well, like a neighbor or member of the same shul will give $25-100, while family friends and family will give $100-300 and very close family and friends anywhere from $500-the high thousands.
I can't imagine 20 close friends chipping in for a $50 food processor but I guess in Israel it's very different. |
If the whole wedding only has 100 people, it is very possible for only 13 of those people to give a cash gift, and the rest of them to either give something else or nothing. I was under the impression that the poll was the cash-gift portion of the wedding gifts, not the total value of all gifts plus cash.
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greenfire
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 9:02 pm
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wow what will we compare next ?!?!?!
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Fox
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 9:58 pm
I think this is actually a good eye-opener for people from different communities, countries, etc. A little knowledge can save a lot of hurt feelings.
A number of years ago, an employee in my office commented with a great deal of pride (read "arrogance") that he and his wife had used their wedding money to fund a year of learning in EY instead of using it for furniture, etc. Well. There were a number of people in the office whose wedding money wouldn't have paid for a single ticket -- let alone supported anyone for a year -- and there were a lot of hard feelings.
Oh, and when I privately explained to Mr. Learned-in-EY why some of his co-workers were a bit offended by his comments, he assured me that I was mistaken: that he knew that "everyone" gets at least $20,000.
Come to think of it, he was kind of a jerk, and he probably wouldn't have benefited from knowing the truth. But presumably the rest of us are a little more astute!
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greenfire
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 10:02 pm
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guess he is not so learned after all ...
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Fox
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 10:13 pm
| greenfire wrote: | | guess he is not so learned after all ... |
LOL! I guess I should have told him that he and his wife obviously didn't get enough money -- he apparently needed to learn a lot more!
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greenfire
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Sat, Dec 05 2009, 10:16 pm
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nopes - some are just hopeless ...
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Ruchel
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Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:15 pm
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Some give money, some prefer more personal gifts, some think money is rude.
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freidasima
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Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:50 pm
Among the DL/MO general crowd, unless you are well to do or don't have many chasuneh's the standard is to give a gift, not money. Seculars give money. I saw at ds's and dd's chasuneh's what our frum friends gave and what their friends (frum) gave and what my secular colleagues gave. Really big difference. If I hadn't had secular colleagues they wouldn't have gotten more than $500. Everyone gave junky presents. A set of towels, a coffee set, a pot, another pot, a third pot. a besamim holder, a coffee pot, a challah cover, another challah cover, a birkas habayis, another birkas habayis. Etc. From close family they got money but that was only from grandparents. We paid for the chasuneh complet so no present from us, that was enough and money towards the apartment.
What the kids usually end up doing is returning as many presents as they can, and there are stores in Yerushalayim and Bnai Brak that take them and sell them on consignment.
Why such cheepie presents? Because if you have four or five chasuneh's a month it's just impossible to give the necessary NIS 300-500 a couple...who has NIS 2500 to spare each month on chasuneh's?! And here in EY you are invited to eveyrone. The cleaning lady at work marries off a grandson (!), you are invited. You marry off a child, you have to invite the corner makolet owner even if you aren't friends but just buy there. If you live in a building and it is a frum building you invite the entire building. Sure there are places that have stopped this becuase of the prices of chasuneh's but that's why here in EY to have a 500-700 person chasuneh for a frum couple (and we aren't talking "samchem tables") is quite average.
Three more kids to go...
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:54 pm
| freidasima wrote: | Among the DL/MO general crowd, unless you are well to do or don't have many chasuneh's the standard is to give a gift, not money. Seculars give money. I saw at ds's and dd's chasuneh's what our frum friends gave and what their friends (frum) gave and what my secular colleagues gave. Really big difference. If I hadn't had secular colleagues they wouldn't have gotten more than $500. Everyone gave junky presents. A set of towels, a coffee set, a pot, another pot, a third pot. a besamim holder, a coffee pot, a challah cover, another challah cover, a birkas habayis, another birkas habayis. Etc. From close family they got money but that was only from grandparents. We paid for the chasuneh complet so no present from us, that was enough and money towards the apartment.
What the kids usually end up doing is returning as many presents as they can, and there are stores in Yerushalayim and Bnai Brak that take them and sell them on consignment.
Why such cheepie presents? Because if you have four or five chasuneh's a month it's just impossible to give the necessary NIS 300-500 a couple...who has NIS 2500 to spare each month on chasuneh's?! And here in EY you are invited to eveyrone. The cleaning lady at work marries off a grandson (!), you are invited. You marry off a child, you have to invite the corner makolet owner even if you aren't friends but just buy there. If you live in a building and it is a frum building you invite the entire building. Sure there are places that have stopped this becuase of the prices of chasuneh's but that's why here in EY to have a 500-700 person chasuneh for a frum couple (and we aren't talking "samchem tables") is quite average.
Three more kids to go... | so interesting how maybe its different age groups are different. my sister married a sabra from a moshav up north. the majority of guests were traditional or chiloni israelis. there were a few anglo guests and many many students and hesder guys. my sister said that they got quiet a bit of money and not many actual gifts at all.
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freidasima
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Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:57 pm
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Sefaradi or ashkenazi Shabbat? Sefaradim only give money. Ashkenazim give presents. Young people (ashkenazi) give presents. Middle aged couples who don't have many chasuneh's give money. Middle aged frum couples who are cheap and have lots of chasuneh's give presents.
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