feeding baby to sleep

queen

Tue, Mar 28 2006, 5:06 pm

I was also nursing baby to sleep however have just stopped that. Baby needs to learn to go to sleep themselves in order that when they eventually wake up in middle of the night- they will close their eyes and go back to sleep on their own. It's not good for baby to NEED to nurse in order to fall asleep. I now nurse/burp and put down baby when she's either already asleep or almost asleep.

Baby tends to go down between 7-8:30. During that time I watch for her cues as to when she's tired and ready for bed. When she's ready- down she goes, and as she is really tired- it usually works fine. I do my best to make sure she's fed well and clean before that time period that I don't run into problems. (disclaimer: first few nights that I put her down awake, w/o nursing WERE hard. I knew that THIS was my project and nothing else would get done those evenings. I think it took 2-3 days to get her into going to sleep without having to be nursed. We did this simultaneously with moving her from sleeping in a swing to sleeping in her crib for both naps and nighttime.)

You might want to put baby into a nightly routine I/o that it begins to recognize that sleep time is coming up soon. For ex: bathe/feed/sing, and then put down.

During the night when baby wakes up- you will be setting yourself up for problems later on if you bring baby into your bed to nurse/sleep. You don't want toddlers coming into your bed each night bec. of bad training early on (which is what is happening to my sil and brother right now.... they wake up each morning with FOUR kids in each of their beds!)

Have a comfortable chair (glider?) in babies room in order to feed in middle of the night and put right back into crib. Middle of the night feeds shouldn't be talking times but rather strictly business. I try to avoid changing of diapers in middle of the night as well as that tends to wake them up more.

I hope this helps!

BrachaVHatzlocha ↓

Tue, Mar 28 2006, 6:17 pm

what a hard topic for me! not actually nursing to sleep, but rocking.
after my first son, who I had to let it CIO at over 10 months because he was waking up every 3 hours, I told myself: next kid will learn to fall asleep on his own!
easier said than done! my yummy, delicious 3 month old constantly needs to rocked or held (even when not bed/naptime). I want him to learn to fall asleep on his own because "they" say it helps them learn to sleep through the night...they can self-comfort, fall asleep themselves. but I can't do that at this point because he just cries! Smile

Oh well!
So...what I would SUGGEST, though I don't know if it's work...nurse baby until he's SLEEPY, but not asleep. Then put him in the crib (and hope he doesn't cry! a mobile might help). I agree that a glider in his room is probably best or else you'll end up falling asleep with him in your bed (which happens with me....)
if it works for you, or ANYTHING does, please give me some tips!! Smile

Or maybe I just ahve to wait until my babe is a little older..! Smile

Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Wed, Mar 29 2006, 7:49 am

I don't nurse my son to sleep. I nurse him between 5:30 and 6, and 7:00 is bedtime. B"H, he goes down beautifully. There are times when he moans himself to sleep, but it's just his way oof calming himself down, and he doesn't scream for us t otake him out. He still wakes up ibn the middle of the night, but I have found since moving him, he wakes up so much less. It could be that when he was in my room I responded to every thing, and now he has to really be awake for me to go in and feed him. He wakes up once or twice. Sometimes I do hear him, but by the time I waken myself up (that's the hardest part!), he's back to sleep. When he doesn't go back to sleep, I hear him and feed him, and then put him back down. I was nervous when I moved him to his own room, but B"H, it worked out really well, and the both of us (well, I guess my husband too!) are sleeping better Very Happy

↑ Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Mar 29 2006, 8:25 am

Frumom wrote:

Hashem Yazor- When you say that your baby moans himself to sleep, when you first tried putting him down did he scream it out, or is there another trick?

Just to update a little. Last night my baby only woke up once to eat during the night! So I think having him in his own room really helps. Either that or last night we got lucky!

He actually started moaning before we switched rooms...he never screamed himself to sleep (maybe a couple times when he was over tired, but not usually). Nursing calms him down, and then I keep activity low for the next hour until my husband comes home. I change him, read him a book, let him sit and play for a little. Then Abba comes home, and spends a few minutes with him, and puts him in bed. He really is an angel when it comes to bedtime Smile

He used to have issues falling back asleep during the night...and sometimes we would have to let him cry or "talk" because I had already fed him and we wanted him to learn it was not play time. Within a few days, he learned. We never let him cry all by himself (I believe that can scare kids) -- he knew we were in the room with him. When he stopped his crying spells, but instead wanted to talk, and kept on lifting his head to look for us, we knew it was time to put him in his own room -- none of us was sleeping too well, and it wasn't like he really needed us. B"H, he took to his own room like a charm, and puts himself to sleep for the most part. I put a mirror behind his bed, so that way if he wakes up and isn't hungry, he can entertain himself Smile

There are times, I'll admit, he still has trouble going to sleep (usually this happens after waking up once or twice at night). In those instances, I pat his back/diaper (he sleeps on his stomach) pretty fast while counting to 60, then slower till 30, then very slow for another count of 30. Then I just stand quietly for a few minutes, and then walk out. If he is asleep -- great (this is not considered a crutch, nor is nursing a kid to sleep a crutch, provided the baby doesn't rely on it to sleep; they can go to sleep sometimes without help, but every once in a while, they need a little TLC). If he's not asleep, he is almost or calmed down enough to put himself to sleep. If he starts crying as I leave, I soothe hime with "sh, sh, sh" pretty loudly (cuz I'm at the door already!) and he gets the hint. Sometimes he will still have to moan, but usually not.

Naptime is so much harder, but that is another megillah!

gryp ↓

Wed, Mar 29 2006, 10:53 am

I'm all ears for ideas too!! (someone please, im practically begging...)

my 7 month old goes down for naps beautifully after much hard work.
he gives a kvetch or two, I hold his hand, stroke his head, and he's alseep within 30 seconds bli ayin hara. (everytime I tell someone how well he's doing, it backfires on me Rolling Eyes

)

he still eats every two hours like a newborn! day and night. I think its just a habit or for comfort, not that he's hungry. he's eating most solid foods, and after a huge meal, he can decide to have a full nursing.
when im not around, he doesnt care to nurse for a few hours at least.

at night, he still wakes up every two hours to eat, nurses for a minute, and then falls back asleep in my arms.
(I tried cereal before bed, it doesnt help and he hates the taste.)

he starts off in his crib in the other room, and eventually ends up in my bed. it doesnt help that our apartment is freezing many nights, so I need to keep him warm. it also doesnt help that he's teething big time, so I need to give him tylenol and oragel throughout the night, neither of which helps much.

the past few nights I tried waking him minutes before he would wake up usually (to break the habit), nurse him, put him back in his crib, but he always wakes up crying just a few minutes later and I have to go put him to sleep again.

I cant let him CIO, he is not that type of baby. he can cry 30 minutes, no problem, over nothing!!

should I-
1) make sure to leave him in his own room at night after nursing? (even if that means ill be running to his room at least every two hours, and maybe even every hour)
2) try and break the every 2 hour feeding schedule for day and hope it helps for night? what about those who say that when they feed their baby more during the day, it helps them sleep thru the night?

I really dont want him in my bed or room forever. and im sleep-deprived big time.

sorry about the long megillah. anyone have any ideas?

↑ BrachaVHatzlocha

Wed, Mar 29 2006, 7:16 pm

GR wrote:

2) try and break the every 2 hour feeding schedule for day and hope it helps for night? what about those who say that when they feed their baby more during the day, it helps them sleep thru the night?

give this a shot -- let him nurse every 3 hrs for how long he wants....otherwise, maybe offer a bottle of water...
if he only nibbles a min during the night - he is NOT hungry - just doesnt know how to fall asleep himself!

zigi ↓

Wed, Mar 29 2006, 9:46 pm

gr it sounds like we have the same baby! my dd likes to eat and after that likes to nurse. 1) you should put him back because otherwise you will be sleeping with him at night, get really warm pjs for him layer them with a sleep sack, so he will be warm, teething does end eventually, ( untill the next set) deal with it I was up for a few weeks teaching dd to sleep. but it was worth it!

2) breaking the habit really does work! but it takes time, it sounds like he's not hungry, but can't fall back asleep because he's used to it, get him used to not waking up by making sure he eats enough during the day, feed him before he goes to sleep, feed him something he likes or nurse him, try to feed him at night, in the middle of the night for him, I tried waking dd an hour before she would wake up to break her sleep cycle worked better, I would wake her up an hour before she used to, I would then soothe her back to sleep by putting in the sussi and patting her I did it for 3 nights and thank G-D it worked!

good luck!!!!!

↑ gryp ↓

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 9:27 am

Quote:

let him nurse every 3 hrs for how long he wants...

halevai 3 hours. Wink

I cant get him to wait longer than 2 1/4 Rolling Eyes

.
I used to think it was just another growth spurt, but for weeks on end???
he must be nursing for comfort, and im not about to take that away from him.
maybe ill try to give him his pacifier more often.

Quote:

if he only nibbles a min during the night - he is NOT hungry -

I know

Quote:

just doesnt know how to fall asleep himself!

thats true, but I think he also expects to be sleeping with me and is insuted when I put him back in the crib.

Quote:

1) you should put him back

I'm going to try.

Quote:

teething does end eventually

he already got his first two teeth in, but I guess more are on the way.

Quote:

I tried waking dd an hour before she would wake up to break her sleep cycle worked better

I really think that could work except that he doesnt sleep the two hours in between feedings if I wake him up. if he wakes up himself when hes sleeping with me, then he just goes back to sleep, most of the time.
im going to try that though for 3 nights and see what happens.

↑ gryp ↓

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 10:20 am

I just wanted to point out that this is a baby who I put down to sleep ever since he was a newborn. it worked beautifully until he turned 3 months- the same day I told someone how nicely he goes to sleep.
THEN he wanted to be patted.
ONE MONTH LATER he couldnt stand being patted, and wanted to fall asleep by himself again,... I was rejoicing!
until I told someone.....
THEN he wanted to be rocked in the stroller.
until he changed his mind again.
so I put him down again and patted him.
I trained him off the patting, and got him to fall asleep while holding his hand and stroking his head.
UNTIL YESTERDAY! when I wrote how nicely he goes down for naps.
now he puts up a fight when I put him down and I have to pat him again.
and by the way, his "naps" go for 45 minutes if I'm lucky.

so it just shows, even if you train them early on to sleep on their own, things can change! Confused

↑ gryp

Thu, Mar 30 2006, 7:36 pm

thanx zigi, im trying it out.
unless I fall asleep and am too tired to wake up before he does.

do you think its possible to break the habit differently- lets say if I try to get him to sleep through one wake-up time at a time, instead of ruining my entire night making sure to wake up before every single time he does.

for example, does it make sense that I only do it for the 11 oclock hour that he wakes up, for a few days. and once he sleeps through 11:00, ill start breaking the 1:00 waking up habit for a few days. once the 1:00 waking up habit is broken, ill start with the 3:00 waking up habit, and so on.
do you think thats possible? or I must do the entire night at once?