how late can you send out thank you notes

amother ↓

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 4:48 pm

My sons upshern was in early August. I should have sent thank you notes immediately after, but I didn't. Then I got busy with first a family simcha out of town and then Yom Tov.
This week I was thinking how I really need to say thanks to the people who brought gifts. Is it way to late, its been 2 months. Is it better to let it side or send notes?
Thanks.
anonymous because I'm really embarrassed.

punktfarkert

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 4:51 pm

Definitely send!!! Someone recently told me that she finished writing her chasuna thank-you cards when she went into labor with her first child!

Yes, it's nice to send the cards that week - but rarely does it happen. Two months isn't really that long - I'm sure that people will appreciate the sentiment. And when someone opens the card, the first thought is "oh, that's so nice," not "wow is this late." Plus you're not really so late. Late is when you forgot the simcha/which gift you gave!

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 4:51 pm

if it makes you feel any better, I had a baby last fall & I had a crazy year and didn't send out any thank you cards (even though I have them, filled out and everything). I am too humiliated to send them out. I'm sure the whole world thinks I'm an ingrate. I just don't feel like reminding them again.

↑ amother ↓

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 4:52 pm

Whats the big deal? Write better late than never, was bz since, but we are enjoying the gifts so much, you sincerely thank them, and may you share in many of each others simchas...

bdot

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 6:24 pm

I would send out the thank yous for the wedding gifts-- just put in a short cute poem- people love being acknowledged and it's a great excuse to reconnect with people you may have lost touch with.

MaBelleVie

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 7:45 pm

I would send- people understand that life is hectic, especially with kids, and they're happy to have their generosity acknowledged. A late thank you is still a thank you- whereas not sending, in order to save yourself embarrassment, is a bit lacking in hakaras hatov (imo).

Mamish Mama ↓

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 8:07 pm

It is never ever too late to send a thank you.

Many selfishly think of how busy their own lives are and make excuses for not accomplishing things that they should (myself included) because we are just sooooooo darn busy. However, we need to stop and think that others are just as busy as we are and have similiar responsibilites and yet they took their precious time and money to shop for you and buy you a gift or maybe they took an afternoon and cooked a meal for you, etc. That being said, it is absolutely never too late to say I appreciate the kindness you showed us.

↑ amother

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 8:17 pm

For all of you saying it's never too late, what would you think of someone married for 2 years without kids, not exceptionally busy who sent the cards out so late?

↑ Mamish Mama

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 8:23 pm

I would be happy to receive a ty note and to know that my gift was appreciated. Even if its 2 years later.

If it bothers you after 2 years that you havne't sent a ty maybe it also bothers the person that gave the gift that you haven't said ty.

It's never too late Smile

manhattanmom ↓

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 9:04 pm

bdot wrote:

I would send out the thank yous for the wedding gifts-- just put in a short cute poem- people love being acknowledged and it's a great excuse to reconnect with people you may have lost touch with.

I'm going to say this for what seems like the hundredth time on this site--"cute poems" are NOT for wedding thank you notes.

↑ manhattanmom

Thu, Oct 08 2009, 9:09 pm

amother wrote:

For all of you saying it's never too late, what would you think of someone married for 2 years without kids, not exceptionally busy who sent the cards out so late?

No clue.
That's why people should send thank you notes ASAP after their wedding. You know you'll only get busier. In the very early parts of your marriage you as a couple spend more evenings together than you probably will at any other time (except for when you have an empty nest--but that's way too late...) So one night take your wedding gift list and sit down--BOTH of you and write every single thank you note--either together--or splitting the pile.... It won't take more than 3 hours. The next morning take them to the post office. End of story.

But as far as the OP's issue-2 months is not really bad at all. Sit down tonight for 20 minutes and write the upsherin notes--you can't have THAT many upsherin gifts!

Raisin

Fri, Oct 09 2009, 10:29 am

voilla wrote:

I just got a thank you card from 6 mo old and gave gift when born, acknowledgement was still appreciated.

if sadi 6 month old had colic, you've got to minus 3 months. Wink

mominisrael2 ↓

Sat, Oct 10 2009, 12:11 pm

I got a thank-you note once for a baby gift when said baby was TWO...thanking me for the WRONG GIFT!! Considering I put a lot of time and effort into the gift (and money, when you include the enormous donation I made to their IF fund) and the gift card was inside the box so I can't imagine how it could have gotten mixed up, I'd almost have rather not gotten any acknowledgment at all...

SavtaHelen

Sat, Oct 10 2009, 5:35 pm

send the cards. No need to aplogize for saying thank you. BTW I always write on the back of the card a tiny notation saying what the gift was . For example "silver tray" so that if the cards and gifts are separated (as may happen when time goes by before writing the notes) they will still know for sure what I gave them!

msctwg

Sat, Oct 10 2009, 5:42 pm

its probably better to send them anyways. but then again don't take your etiquette lessons from me. we still have thank you cards from when we got married more then 12 years ago that we have yet to sent out. I actually sat down and wrote them put them in envelopes, addressed them but never sent them out. the pathetic thing is I haven't thrown them out yet either!! everytime I think about throwing them out I get pangs of guilt. and now a good portion of them might have gone to a higher plane of life.... how would you address that one mr. smith @ heaven.com??