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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
mandksima
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 Sun, Oct 04 2009, 6:36 am
What should I say to my wonderful artist of a daughter that is over-interested in drawing the female body? Should I just be happy she isn't drawing males? She's quite accurate and I didn't realize she knew how to draw that or how it looks exactly. She's 8 going on 30.
BTW, this is the least of my problems and I don't consider it a big deal but she's constantly shocking me.
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ES1017
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 8:41 am
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Your post reminds me of myself as a child, so perhaps I can shed some light as someone who did the same thing your daughter is doing now. When I was in the 5th grade I became very curious about the body, my own body and puberty--and I liked to draw, so it was natural for me to start drawing pictures of the nude female body. One day I was absent from school a student from one of the lower grades had looked into my locker (they were not locked) and found my binder and discovered my pictures. This student proceeded to show the evidence to the frum teacher, who announced that this was disgusting and proceeded to throw them into the garbage. This was all told to me by my classmates the next day. I felt embarrassed and humiliated and betrayed. My mother was told and it was never discussed again. Thankfully, I had a more forward-thinking Aunt who cared enough to put this into perspective for me as a child who was traumatized by the unfolding of that event. She told me that artifacts of nude pictures dated back thousands of years and that people had been painting nude bodies ever since and that it was entirely natural for me to experience a curiosity, however, school was not the context and that from a religious standpoint these drawings also represented something that people found very intimate and personal so they would naturally find such exposure offensive. She also encouraged me to draw but warned me to keep them private or share only with people who are close. I am thankful that I had someone like her to give me advice because I know that this subject would have been an embarrassing issue for me today. I eventually lost interest in this type of art as I developed a better understanding of my own body and how it matures. If I were you, I would make sure not to do anything that would make my daughter form negative associations, instead express genuine curiosity about why this sort of thing interests her, perhaps help her through any issues she may be having, and also explain that what she is drawing is rather intimate and explain why they ca cause strong reactions, and why she should keep them personal.
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mandksima
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 8:59 am
Thanks for your reply.
My dd is only in second grade. She has probably seen a naked body here and there in the pool dressing room or somewhere like that. That part doesn't bother me. Actually, none of this really does bother me as I am an artist too and have taken art classes. It is more her emotional imaturity about the drawings. The giggling. The snickering. She's amused by her own artwork.
It is pretty normal for her age as she is pretty big already and more the size of an 11 year old. She's curious about everything. I guess I just wanted to hear others who deal with issues like this. Her teachers wouldn't be bothered by seeing her drawings and I know they would deal with it the same way I would.
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freidasima
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 9:05 am
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Ask her if she snickers when she stands in front of a mirror in her underwear? If so ask her what is so funny about her own body, does she do it when she looks at her hand? Her foot? If not why does she do it when she looks at her pupik? Put it into proportion already now, it's important that she treats her own and other people's bodies and the concept of a body with respect.
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ES1017
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 9:20 am
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In that case, I think it's just a normal stage of child development. Part of us is curious and the other is uncomfortable so we snicker and giggle to reduce the discomfort. I don't know any kids who didn't go through that. This should obviously lessen as she matures as long as no one makes any harsh reprimands. A friend of mine has a 7 year old son who was obsessed with girls in Kindergarten! Sometimes kids mature earlier and sometimes kids who are just exposed to things (like at the pool) become very curious but are still not mature enough to handle the context.
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He*Sings*To*Me
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 12:13 pm
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I'm not artistically-inclined as a number of you-all on here are, but I remember sneaking the Sears and JCPenney catalogues and turning to the adult intimate apparel sections, and being immensely curious about the human adult body about the age of your dd.
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mandksima
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 3:27 pm
| freidasima wrote: | | Ask her if she snickers when she stands in front of a mirror in her underwear? If so ask her what is so funny about her own body, does she do it when she looks at her hand? Her foot? If not why does she do it when she looks at her pupik? Put it into proportion already now, it's important that she treats her own and other people's bodies and the concept of a body with respect. |
She does snicker and we talk about it all of the time (how everything is part of her and normal like her hand, etc.)
All in all, I think it is just her curiousity and imaturity. She's really funny and the drawings were really good. Too bad I can't hang them up with the rest.
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ShakleeMom
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 7:02 pm
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ES1017 thank you for posting under your screen name... which makes it a more realistic perspective. My dd age 4 has been drawing accurate nudes for about 3 months and I beleive it slowly disappeared. I did consult with 3 different professionals who all said it's a stage and if you say nothing, the novelty wears off. so we said nothing and it's mostly gone. All her people now wear clothes and on some occasion, they have nude parts on top of their clothes, as an afterthought. We are all artistic and creative... I guess it's part of the genre.
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greenfire
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Sun, Oct 04 2009, 7:06 pm
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I think it's amazing she is so artistic ...
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bonnie
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Wed, Oct 07 2009, 5:19 am
Coming from an artist who DID draw her first nude at 19- I drew a lot in modeling classes and odn't know if I would do it now. Regardless, if you can explain to her on her level that Hashem created us, come to you with any questions, and a little bit about the appropriateness of zniut, you're on the right track.
The human form is quite beautiful, and when put into the perspective of how awesome Hashem's creations are, it really is beautiful.
I would tell her to not go around telling otehrs what's she's doing as people may not understand or think it is appropruate for an 8 year old to be drawing this stuff.
Here's some more suggestions, since she's impressionable-
You can get her interested in other subject matter-
flowers, bridgman makes some great books on the human form ( especially if she's into math- how all forms are actually derived from shapes- not so much emphasis on nudity), cartoons, cartoon characters, anatomy for children, self portaits ( so she's concentrating on facial features- rather than the rest of the body), still lifes, enroll her in an art class where she's painting other stuff, needlepoints, designs, the possibilities are endless!
Take her to a museum/gallery- let her pick out some post cards and copy the post cards.
My point is, don't say nudes are bad, but you can definitely gently push her away from this subject matter till she's ready to come back to it. Maybe 8 years old is a bit young for this stuff- there's sooo much more stuff she can be painting now! If she draws the occasional nude, don't make a big deal about it just encourage her to explore other mediums/subject matters and expose her to other ideas.
Kids love optical illusions- check out escher's stuff for kids. Really amazing what he did.
Good luck- pm me for other ideas
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ShakleeMom
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Wed, Oct 07 2009, 11:02 am
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I'm guessing mandksima's dd isn't actually drawing it to pursue an artistic career... but because she's doodling, and this week it happened to be in anatomical detail.
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greenfire
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Wed, Oct 07 2009, 11:06 am
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once by mistake I saw a nude picture dd drew - I was a bit in shock not to mention the realistic detail ... I never said a word ... I was more focused on what was going on in her life ... but it was totally and artistically beautiful ...
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mandksima
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Wed, Oct 07 2009, 11:21 am
Yes, well....dd is also into drawing bodily functions. Dogs making number 1 and 2. Dolls sitting on the toilet. It is that age that they still think it is funny. Now she is drawing girls with clothes on and body parts peaking out.
I think she'll follow in fashion design like me (hobby, not career.)
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