name that body part

micki

Sat, Jan 01 2005, 7:28 pm

today my 6 yr old was playing with her 7 yr old aunt and 4 yr old sister. I saw that they had some rainbow bright dolls undressed. a few minutes later my 6 yr old come to me and asks- mommy what are those things you nurse a baby with called? my mother sister and I were speechless for a second then I asked- why do you want to know? so she says well _______ (her aunt ) wants to know. so I said what are you doing that made you talk about it? and she said they saw that rainbow brights are small and she and her aunt are small but you have big ones. so I thought if I evade her she'll know something is off- so with a straight face I said- they are called breasts. she says bracelts? I said no breasts. she says mine look like choclate chips now but yours are much bigger. so I told her that as she gets older they will get bigger so she can nurse her babies. so she runs off nd I hear her ask again what is again? and I repeated it agin.

I hear the girls saying the words over and over again- so I gave them a minute and went over and told them that just like parts of their bodies are private, this area is also private and we should not talk about it unless its in a tznius way. like they should not ask their teacher if she has them.
I told them again to make sure to keep tznius about it and that was that. I think (hope?) they forgot about it.
personally I think that the 7 yr old sent my daughter to ask because I think the 7 yr old wanted to know and was too shy to ask. so I am glad I am in her life to have her come to me- even if its thru my daughter!

what would you have done? do you believe in telling the truth or evading it? I think that evading it would only make her suspicious- so I just held in my feelings of shock and just answered honestly. its a good thing I thought about this when we were discussing the private parts thread- otherwise who knows what I would have said!!!

ForeverYoung ↓
Guest

Sat, Jan 01 2005, 7:47 pm

Actually, my kids asked me b/c the see me nurce the baby. I told them it' brests, for nurcing & it's privite, so we talk about it to parents only and in privacy only.

Since we covered the subject of privicy, I hope they will not embarass me in public!! Confused

I have a friend who told her son she has nipples to nurce the baby just like a nipple on the bottle (he was familiar with the nipple of the bottle). So he asked her mother in law if she has nipples too and if he can see them.
Boy, was my friend emabarrased. embarrassed

But the kid was very little then.

Motek ↓

Sun, Jan 02 2005, 12:07 pm

micki - you did great!

and it's sooo funny (though probably wasn't at the time)

Quote:

I hear the girls saying the words over and over again- so I gave them a minute and went over and told them that just like parts of their bodies are private, this area is also private and we should not talk about it unless its in a tznius way.

perfect

Quote:

like they should not ask their teacher if she has them.

LOL
great preemptive strike!

mother of 2 princess's

Tue, Jan 11 2005, 6:17 am

well I have a problem with this because I bottle feed, so my 6 year old daughter always asks me why I dont feed. and whenever a freind has a baby she says are they breast feeding or bottlefeeding.

she also has this thing now that everything is bum this and bum that

I tell her if she wants to use this word she should go to the bathroom and say it as many times as she wants then she can come out.

iv told her its not nice but she dosnt listen
iv even threatned pepper!!!
but havnt got the guts to use it cos I think its cruel.

Tefila

Tue, Jan 11 2005, 11:46 am

Quote:

like they should not ask their teacher if she has them.

You are a riot Micki..... LOL

But your right have to be one step ahead of them!
My 2 yr old asked me a week ago whats that? So I said my tummy, but she said no mummy, tummy is here... and shows me her tummy, but whats that ...... she asked, pointing upwards? so I tell her it's my chest. Thinking it was the safest answer to give to my talkative 2 yr old
On Shabbos meal time with a couple of older guests she out of the blue started singing 'mummy has big chest, I have small chest'. Oh dear embarrassed

I had to tell her Tatty is saying a Dvar Torah now, so lets quite down!! The guests just laughed embarrassed

↑ ForeverYoung
Guest

Tue, Jan 11 2005, 12:04 pm

happened to a friend:
her 2 yr old was interested in his privite body part, and really trying to figure it out b/c his sister didn't. he was scared & though she lost it or has a booboo & that he can loose his too, so they had to spend a lot of time helping him get over the shock of boy/girl difference.

so at the shabbos table, when a couple who didn't have kids yet, was visiiting, he said pointing at each person in turn: mommy isa girl, she doesn't have p..; tatty is a boy, he has p..; guest so&so is a boy, he has p...; guest so&so is a girl, she doesn't have p..; I am a boy, I have p...

boy, was everyone embarrassed

& laughing!!!!

merpk ↓

Tue, May 24 2005, 1:48 pm

We tell our children the names of whatever body part they're asking about when they ask about it. Tznius isn't an issue here ... it's information about their bodies. We do tell them that their bodies are their private business.

Something you all might want to consider is that studies of convicted s-xual predators have shown that a child's comfort level with their own bodies and the words for their body parts plays a part in their chosen victims.

That was horribly worded, let me try again ...

In other words, a child using nicknames or cute or odd words for their body parts (particularly the 'private' ones) is more likely to be victimized than one who knows the actual words or names, because it indicates to the criminal that there is a lack of trust/comfort between the parents and child, so the child is less likely to tell a parent when something like what they are planning kh'v'sh happens ...

Being frum is not protection against these things. Being aware is.

deedee ↓

Tue, May 24 2005, 2:08 pm

ok so when I am bathing my child -16mts, I say this is the way we wash ur arm, wash ur leg etc while I'm washing her body cause I want her to learn body parts. do I actually say, this is the way we wash ur vagania shock

I dont want to use a made up word but I'm not comfy using the V word.
I was wondering about this...
for my youngest stepdaughter I say did u wash ur wee wee and woo woo -dont ask Very Happy

↑ merpk ↓

Tue, May 24 2005, 2:20 pm

****ETA: When I typed this post I did not ever type the words "private part."

Well, no, you wouldn't say "this is the way we wash your private part," because most people don't actually wash their private parts. And we certainly wouldn't wash our children's private parts. The private part is internal, inside your body. The external part that we do wash is the vulva. (Though in mikva preparations you would, yes, wash your private part.)

And yes, we do that song with our children, or at least a similar type of thing, too ... Smile

Am editing this because I'm in awe that every time I typed the word referring to the internal organ, and I did type the actual word spelled V, A, G, I, N, A, the words "private part" came out on the post.

Am amazed.

Yet the previous poster that I was responding to misspelled the word and it posted as she wrote it.

Last edited by merpk on Tue, May 24 2005, 2:24 pm; edited 1 time in total

↑ merpk ↓

Tue, May 24 2005, 2:26 pm

Retyping the paragraph with the insta-edited word misspelled so it comes out with the proper meaning:

Well, no, you wouldn't say "this is the way we wash your vaggina," because most people don't actually wash their private parts. And we certainly wouldn't wash our children's private parts. The vaggina is internal, inside your body. The external part that we do wash is the vulva. (Though in mikva preparations you would, yes, wash your vaggina.)

And deedee, if you reread that paragraph, you should sing "this is the way we wash our vulva."

Easy. And accurate.

↑ Motek ↓

Wed, May 25 2005, 2:06 pm

Quote:

We tell our children the names of whatever body part they're asking about when they ask about it. Tznius isn't an issue here ... it's information about their bodies

if you click on this link, you will see an extensive discussion about this topic and the view that tznius is very much an issue here:

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....cb8ea

IndyMom

Mon, May 30 2005, 3:42 pm

My son's babysitter from the time he was 1.5 until 2.5 was a non jewish woman from el salvador. I fired her when I realized that she was trying to genderize my sons. If they picked up a doll to play with she would say "no, you can't play with doll, you have PUNTO". Anyway, got rid of the babysitter, but the word has stuck. At first he would just look down and point and say "I have a punto", but the other day I heard him call his new babysitter, "you are a punto!" I know he doesn't really know that that isn't nice, so I told him he can't do that and he hasn't done it again so far. I am also a believer in telling children the correct name for their parts, but my babysitter beat me to it on that one. One of the reasons why I hate babysitters! (I have a love hate relationship - when I have them I want to get rid of them, and when I get rid of them I want to have one again - I am never happy).

Anyway Micki, I knwo you posted the thread a while ago, but I think you handled the situation perfectly.

Oh, and our bathtub song is based on the Backstreet Boys song "Everybody....Yeeeaaah" - so those of you who know it, it goes "Wash your body....Yeeeeaaah..."

Tila ↓

Mon, Sep 19 2005, 12:52 pm

Say it like it is!! My kids call a private part a private part and a aiver a aiver. Breast are breasts and nipples are nipples. Noses are noses and toes are toes!! I am sorry that I am so forward. As long as the words are not used out of context. Leah is seven she knows what a vulva is as well as the button's name a clit0ris. That is what they are called!! STOP BLUSHING!!!