Purim Pressure -tips to make it calmer

TzenaRena ↓

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 9:28 am

My kids also take up the majority of the shalach monos. their friends keep coming, so I must have little peklach prepared. Around 50. There are the neices and nephew's peklach, which we bring to distribute at the family Purim seudah. And of course the teachers.

For ourselves, it's mostly immediate family, brothers, sisters, parents, the aunts and uncles who live in the neighborhood. Then the neighbors on our block. I don't usually send to friends and they don't usually send to me. But a few friends do remember us, and we have to have something ready to send back.

So there's nothing to eliminate.

The pressure is also financial. As cheap as you go it's still an expense. Having the money on time to shop ahead and be organized.

↑ TzenaRena

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 9:39 am

Also, since I bake my hamantashen, it puts me a little behind on Pesach. I don't feel like I can start with Pesach till I finish baking. After Purim, the mixer gets cleaned and put away. and I buy the challah for the next few weeks. As long as flour dust keeps rising, and getting all over me, as I go to other rooms transferring it, how can I start with Pesach? (Just my feeling). Does anyone else feel like that?

I always tell myself, next year I'll finish baking by Rosh Chodesh Adar, and freeze the hamantashen, etc., but it hasn't happened yet.

↑ chen ↓

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 9:53 am

SaraYehudis wrote:

As long as flour dust keeps rising, and getting all over me, as I go to other rooms transferring it, how can I start with Pesach?

get a little hand-held vacuum cleaner and vacuum yourself off b4 leaving the kitchen.

Itta

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 10:33 am

chen, we "recycle" what we get when we run out. (though I like your word: "cannibalize")

oh, and sarayehudis, about the flour dust, I feel for you. I find that the only way I get it off my clothes is: a) to wear an apron and b) to wack the flour off myself with a towel. trying to do so with my hands just pushes it futher into the fibers until it is released elsewhere in the house.

the hand-held vaccum is a good idea. I'll have to try Smile

my kids succeeded in not allowing the pesach feeling by shlepping their food all over! after purim I hope to buy "pesachdik" nosh so at least I know that the crumbs I keep finding after I clean, are ok.

↑ hardwrknmom

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 3:33 pm

downsyndrome wrote:

U-huh, and neither is Pesach supposed to be a burden, and neither is giving birth supposed to be a burden and neither is raising kids supposed to be a burden and neither is marrying off kids supposed to be a burden and .

I was "qouting" those words from the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

↑ Crayon210

Mon, Feb 27 2006, 3:39 pm

I think it's sad that so many women feel forced to do so many things for holidays, friends, community, etc. etc. People should learn how to say NO. To others, and also to themselves. I don't do everything people ask me to, or expect me to. I have my own issues to deal with, and making 45 extra Shaloch Manos or sending gifts for an aufrut, etc., only add more stress to my life--and stress in NOT a part of life. Not mine, anyway.

I have empowered myself to choose not to let things overwhelm me, and not to take on more than I can realistically handle.

My order of priorities is my family, my extended family (mom, dad, sibs, etc.), and then my friends and community. But you know what actually comes before all that?

ME!

Because without me, all those other things can't happen.

supermom

Tue, Feb 28 2006, 12:21 am

actually that is one good thing I must say here in israel living with kollel families everyone does simple. They literally give only two things and two brochos so no one tries to out do anyone. It defintly comes out cheaper and easier for us. and of course less nosh going around since everyone gives something for the seudah instead. Like some give out salami sandwiches with a pickle, others would give a carrot salad with a small cake, and another example someone gave us one year a container of milk with a bag cookies.

they are simple and cheap too.

He*Sings*To*Me ↓

Tue, Feb 28 2006, 12:36 am

I'm feelin' the pressure, too; my hubby was down-sized in June2005 and while he's interviewed all over the US sometimes 2nd/3rd interviews for "big" positions, he has yet to end up "top pick" as there seems to be always someone with more expertise, experience, education, etc. and money is tight these days...people are probably just getting hand-made hamentaschen from us presented in boxes made of construction paper made by myself and my 2 oldest...I feel simply awful that this is all we can give, but it will be made/given with love.

↑ chen ↓

Tue, Feb 28 2006, 5:11 am

He*Sings*To*Me wrote:

this is all we can give, but it will be made/given with love.

What more does anyone need? Shalach Monos has become just another avenue for conspicuous consumption and one-upmanship: who can give a fancier, more elegant, more creative, more impressive, more obviously expensive package.

I applaud everyone who has gone back to basics, whatever the reason.

zigi

Wed, Mar 01 2006, 12:44 pm

he*sings*to*me some of my favorite memories as a child was making hamentashen for shaloch manos. we also used to give an orange and a juice box on a paper plate, I'm from out of town and thats bascially what every one else did

curly ↓

Wed, Mar 01 2006, 7:57 pm

Last year my dh and I went far away and I didn't really know to many people so we gave minimum and had a great time

↑ curly ↓

Wed, Mar 01 2006, 8:01 pm

last year my dh and I went to my sister. we didn't really know that many people there but we still had a great time. This year we are not sure where we will go for the seudah. This year also I am teaching so I have all the students and it will be fun to see how they are dressed up can't wait.

↑ curly

Wed, Mar 01 2006, 8:03 pm

For all those who are stressed maybe try to prepare the stuff the night before so that the shalach monos is ready. I know before I got married I tried to do that so that it wouldn't be that stressful for my mom.

gryp

Thu, Mar 02 2006, 12:35 pm

Quote:

As someone who's never been to the US, it sounds absolutely ridiculous

you speak perfect (American) English!

↑ chen ↓

Thu, Mar 02 2006, 2:52 pm

mummyof6 wrote:

As someone who's never been to the US, it sounds absolutely ridiculous!

When it becomes an obligation and a source of panic rather than a labor of love for someone with time on her hands, then it is quite, quite ridiculous indeed.[/I]

↑ raizy

Sat, Mar 04 2006, 8:54 pm

yes I am one of those idoits who try to match a theme to the mashalah manos. but I do simple m manos. and I add one dollarstore item to make it a theme etc. like I would add ladybug figerines to the m manos to make it theme. since all my kids were dressed up like ladybugs.

well this year I have no theme and I still didnt start my m manos..it doesnt help that every single child is something else.nothing themey about them.