Halachic approval to Charedi widow to be surrogate mother

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bubby ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:13 am

From Vosizneias.com:

Israel - For the first time in Israel, an ultra-Orthodox woman will serve as a surrogate mother, after receiving authorization to do so from a rabbi.

The woman, a widowed mother from southern Israel, started making inquiries about the possibility of becoming a surrogate mother several years ago, seeking to help a childless couple bring a baby into the world.

But the woman was concerned of her neighbors' reactions should she become pregnant, and asked the Institute of Fertility and Medicine According to Halacha to arrange a halachic approval from a rabbi explaining her condition and guaranteeing she was not "promiscuous."

Rabbi Menachem Borshtein, head of the institute, said that such an approval was given by Rabbi Zalman Nehamia Goldberg, and this gave the woman the green light to continue with the procedure.

"She received the authorization of the Health Ministry's special committee, and after we found a suitable couple, the procedure is scheduled to start soon," said Borshtein.

The couple in question has been trying to get pregnant for 12 years. Since they are ultra-Orthodox themselves, they were thrilled to learn that the surrogate mother is haredi as well.

"We are delighted that in the next nine months the baby will grow into an atmosphere of sanctity and purity in the womb of a Jewish mother. We are very excited and hope that, God willing, this will be the solution for the years of suffering we have endured," they said.
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While the woman said she was motivated by the desire to help others, money certainly played part in her decision. The price tag of a "surrogacy package" stands at $50,000, with half the sum going directly to the surrogate mother.

"Currently 95% of the egg donations received come from abroad," said Prof. Arye Hurwitz, head of the IVF Unit at Hadassah Har Hatzofim Medical Center. "Passing a law that will expand the circle of donors and donations could make the treatment accessible for those who cannot currently afford it or for those who want the egg to come from a Jewish mother," he added.

Anyone else have misgivings on this?

Inspired ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:17 am

Beautiful. bshaa tova to them.
I wonder if she is the gestational surrogate or the eggs are hers as well.
Go Rav ZN Goldberg for paskening like this!

merelyme

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:19 am

Halachically, who are the parents?

shabbatiscoming

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:26 am

that is really beautiful.

and for the parents to know that their child will be growing inside a frum woman, that must also be wonderful for them. that gave me goosebumps.

just curious, why would you have misgivings?

Last edited by shabbatiscoming on Tue, May 26 2009, 8:29 am; edited 1 time in total

catonmylap ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:27 am

Actually, I think it is wonderful.

It wasn't clear though whose eggs they were....

↑ bubby ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 8:32 am

I can't imagine any of the parties involved, especially the child, will have a normal life. They will be hounded by the press & the public, stared at, probably get hate mail & all sorts of abuse, & that child....

What kind of life will he have in the Charedi community? Everyone will know. This may be more common "outside" but in our closed communities? Imagine if Sprintze has 2 mommies? No, I'm not making any equivalencies here, but the donor/surrogate will become public as she goes through a pregnancy without a husband. Someone, somewhere, will disclose where the child is after his parents take him home. And what of the donor/surrogate's other children? Imagine how they'll be treated by other kids.

I'm not saying it shouldn't be a solution for childless couples & in everything someone has to be "first", but I can't help feeling very concerned.

Bambamama

Tue, May 26 2009, 9:00 am

The couple can move to a different, insulated community after the baby is born. But they may just be telling people that they're adopting, and how would anyone know the truth if everything is kept confidential.

↑ bubby ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 9:04 am

Oh, I'm a cynic. Some nurse or neighbor can make $$ selling the story to the newspapers. I wish them all luck, but....

Seraph ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 9:11 am

bubby wrote:

Oh, I'm a cynic. Some nurse or neighbor can make $$ selling the story to the newspapers. I wish them all luck, but....

And then get sued for all that money, plus.

ora_43

Tue, May 26 2009, 9:24 am

bubby why do you think the people involved would be abused like that? There were no issurim involved; the only halachic question is who is considered the child's mother. Meaning, the only "controversy" could be that some people will consider the child to have been adopted -- but that's hardly new in the hareidi community.

As for the surrogate mother, that's why she got approval, so that it will be clear that she didn't have s-x outside marriage. Some people might talk, but for $25,000 let them talk. I think that while some will disapprove there will be plenty who consider it a mitzva as well.

Newspapers know they would get their socks sued off for printing these people's full names... I don't think that's going to happen. But even if the story came out, I don't think it would be as bad as you describe.

↑ bubby ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 9:29 am

Ora, like I said I'm a cynic. I've seen a lot of children bullied mercilessly for the "sins" (actions) of their parents. Being older I have seen/heard/read about the difficulties some people have had after they get celebrity status for whatever reason. Nothing is private any more. With all the technology out there, if someone wants to track you, it's really easy.

This process will not be simple. The intentions are great, but the reality will probably be fraught with complications & stress.

Mini Cookie ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 10:00 am

I don't like the sound of it either...I'm so happy for the couple but this whole thing just doesn't sound perfect to me. I'm just afraid of what this is going to bring upon us now. Unmarried Jewish girls looking to carry a Jewish baby for some bucks. And what about all the siblings this child will have? in close knit communities where ppl prefer to stick to marrying someone in there community it'll definitely be a worry of not marrying a sibling by mistake since surragocy is kept a secret (usually) & it'll be a challenge to track down who is related...especially if the woman becomes an official surrogate mom for more than one.

Mama Bear ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 10:26 am

Molly, I dont think that'd be a problem. I think by law, surrogates have to already have given birth to a child, because if it's someone's first pregnancy they will probably get attached to it and have a hard time giving the baby over to the bio parents, and also so there is a pregnancy history to know how this woman does medically during pregnancy. and the couple would know the identity of the surrogate so they would not have to worry about their child marrying a sibling.

Surrogacy is a very thorny area in halacha. in the chasidishe world it's a no-no. which is sad, since in williamsburg alone I know of at least 2 people who couldve been helped were this allowed.

↑ Inspired ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 10:51 am

bubby wrote:

Here is Israel, absolutely not.

Quote:

What kind of life will he have in the Charedi community? Everyone will know. This may be more common "outside" but in our closed communities? Imagine if Sprintze has 2 mommies? No, I'm not making any equivalencies here, but the donor/surrogate will become public as she goes through a pregnancy without a husband. Someone, somewhere, will disclose where the child is after his parents take him home. And what of the donor/surrogate's other children? Imagine how they'll be treated by other kids.

I don't believe any of this will be an issue. I don't see anyone discussing this too much, especially not with children. If this couple or woman lived in my community there would only be positive effects for them.

Quote:

'm not saying it shouldn't be a solution for childless couples & in everything someone has to be "first", but I can't help feeling very concerned.

I really think your concern is misplaced.

↑ Inspired ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 10:55 am

Mama Bear wrote:

Surrogacy is a very thorny area in halacha.

Not really. Sperm donation is MUCH more problematic. The only issue is who the halachik mother is. So, as long as she is single and jewish it doesn't create any complicated status issues for the child.

orchidmom

Tue, May 26 2009, 10:59 am

I think this is an amazing thing!!!
B'H for the parents involved that they have such an option!

PeachTree ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 11:06 am

Somehow it just dosen't smell right. For a frum woman to have a fertilized egg plannted in her....I don't know....correct me if I'm wrong.

bluesclues

Tue, May 26 2009, 11:08 am

orchidmom wrote:

I think this is an amazing thing!!!
B'H for the parents involved that they have such an option!

I agree I think this is a wonderful thing to do for some one

on a side note I dont think the woman is doing it for the money she is probably just a wonderful caring woman

happy2beme

Tue, May 26 2009, 11:19 am

Inspired wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

Surrogacy is a very thorny area in halacha.

Just wondering, what is the reason that one of the requirements are that she is single?

↑ Seraph ↓

Tue, May 26 2009, 11:21 am

happy2beme wrote:

Inspired wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

Surrogacy is a very thorny area in halacha.

Just wondering, what is the reason that one of the requirements are that she is single?

Otherwise there is the issue of eishes ish- of her carrying the child of a man who is not her husband.

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