What to do about my son?

Seraph ↓

Thu, May 14 2009, 9:02 am

My son is very aware of his bodily functions. Already for a few mos he's been telling me when he makes.
Now when I take off his diaper to change him, he doesnt want me to put one back on him. He says he wants to make peepee in the toilet. Yet sitting on the toilet scares him (I dont have an insert, I plan on getting one), standing on a stool next to the toilet to pee scares him, and he doesnt actually want to SIT DOWN on my potty. He does like sitting down on the toilet with the cover on.
Yet he doesnt want a diaper, and gets very distressed when he pees on the floor to the extent that he stops himself mid-pee, and continues it a few minutes later on the floor.

He asks me to take off his diaper because he has to pee/poo, but won't actually do it in the toilet/potty, only on the floor.

So he's too young to be potty trained (and I am in no rush, don't think I'm pushing him), yet he seems like he really WANTS to be potty trained already.
What do you suggest I do?
He's a year and 8 mos and verbal enough to tell me when he has to go, to take off his diaper, etc...

↑ Seraph ↓

Thu, May 14 2009, 10:23 am

I have one. He wants to play with it, but even when he's doing the "pishy dance" (you know, where you really have to go and are holding it in and dancing to try to keep it in?) and has to pee, he won't sit on it.

btMOMtoFFBs ↓

Thu, May 14 2009, 12:29 pm

Seraph, he is totally not too young to train!!

He is aware of when he needs to make and so that's the only criteria I can think of that really counts. He is too young to push to train, but if he's already aware and interested... that means he's ready. That's not you pushing him. Trust me, if you wait till he's in the 2's or 3's its so much harder b/c children at that age don't want to give you control of anything they do, including making.

Can you make sitting on the toilet less scary? Someone suggested sitting backwards. Can you make him a sticker chart for when he actually sits? Can you give him a special toilet treat? A lolly or a cookie? Can he get a little car or small prize when the pish or poops go into the toilet?

I made little colored-tissue paper fish that my boys got to put in before they would go. They loved making the fish "swim" and flushing them down.

I think you should capitalize on the opportunity here and go for it! Get the potty seat if you think that will help ASAP. (p.s. you won't regret having him trained, if it works, when iy"H, baby #2 comes along!)

Hatzlacha!

↑ Seraph ↓

Thu, May 14 2009, 12:37 pm

I'm saying, he IS young. (I was potty trained at 18 mos, but girls are generally trained earlier.)
So I'm not in a rush. But if he really wants it, then fine.
ETA: The reason I said he's too young is- if hes scared to go in the potty, on the toilet, standing next to the toilet, can't I just chalk it up to age and thats why he's scared? Or are older kids also scared?

How do I make it less scary? Maybe I need a better potty- I have a really cheapo one, like this:

maybe I need a better one thats like a real seat? like this?

I try telling him he'll get a treat if he pees in the potty. He gets all excited "Treat treat treat!" but then doesnt pee in the potty- pees on the floor a foot away from the potty. Or he stands in the potty and wants to pee outside of it.

Do you think something like this will help? I feel because he's so young and has a small tush, he's probably feeling like he's falling through the hole, even on the small potty, and probably will feel that way with the toilet insert as well...

↑ btMOMtoFFBs

Thu, May 14 2009, 12:45 pm

Seraph I hear ya about him being small for the toilet. I think you're right about a small child feeling like falling into the big toilet.

I trained my DD just when she turned 2. She used a potty more like the fisher price one you showed. But once she got used to going in the potty, it wasn't hard to transition to the toilet at all. All 3 of my kids used a seat over the toilet for a while, until they felt safe enough.

Well, sounds like otherwise you're on the right track. Maybe he needs to watch his Abba make a few times to understand how to aim and help get his pish into the toilet while standing up.

Don't give up. Once he gets the hang of it, he could get reliably trained really fast.

hatzlacha to you and Uriel!

↑ Seraph ↓

Thu, May 14 2009, 12:55 pm

He's afraid specifically to stand on the stool next to the toilet. I think he's afraid of standing on a stool. Maybe I need a bigger stool?
Without the stool, he's way too short to reach anything.
And as for copying Abba, abba isnt home most of the day to be watched.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, May 14 2009, 12:59 pm

I'm laughing because your Baby Bjorn picture is "cheaper" than your Fisher Price one LOL

In Israel, they have inserts that have a step ladder attached (Keter brand?) and those are PERFECT. Kid sized, his feet won't dangle, handles to hold onto.
If gets over his fear, capitalize on the opportunity. If he doesn't, he might just need more time of introducing the concept slowly.

↑ Seraph

Thu, May 14 2009, 1:06 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

I'm laughing because your Baby Bjorn picture is "cheaper" than your Fisher Price one LOL

I've been introducing him to the concept slowly- he comes into the bathroom with me on a regular basis so knows that peeing and pooing is in the toilet.
The one I have is definitely NOT baby bjorn. Its some cheapo little something my husband found. We cleaned it with bleach first, dont worry.

Maybe I'll borrow the insert with a step ladder from one of my gan kids. I had it here for a short while when she was first trained, but now she sits directly on the toilet. I'd hate to buy it and have it not work for him, so I'd want to try it first before buying.

SomebodyElse

Thu, May 14 2009, 1:44 pm

Seraph wrote:

How do I make it less scary? Maybe I need a better potty- I have a really cheapo one, like this:

You may be on to something there. I think I would have trouble going on something like that! DH wanted me to get one of those, but I insisted on something that resembled a toilet.

Do you just give in right away when he says he's scared, or have you tried to convince him not to be scared and give it a chance? Is he mature enough that a reward might motivate him to face his fear?

yaelinIN

Thu, May 14 2009, 1:55 pm

Seraph,

As far as readiness, if he is positive mind set (kind of from your description) and he is physically ready, go for it. I "trained" my two boys when they were 18 mos old and by 2 they were dry day and night (my daughter is another story Tongue Out

).

As for the potty, the Japanese use one similar to this one. I brought mine back after living there. I like it much better than the western ones because while the kids have to straddle the potty to pee/poop, they are really steady on the potty and don't get scared of falling off of it. They also get to practice squatting, which is the supposedly healthiest way to poop to avoid constipation/hemoroids. They can face backwards on it to simulate the western toilet (and not take off their pants).

anonymom

Thu, May 14 2009, 7:33 pm

This is my suggestion: I did it when my son was almost 2. I only recommend it with a kid young enough that you can traumatize him a little because he's young enough he will forget very quickly and of course the benefit outweights the trauma.

Watch him closely and when he is just about to make and it's too late for him to hold it in, grab him and put him on the toilet and hold him there. As soon as something goes in the toilet, pick him up, hug him, say HOORAY!!!!! YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL!!! I AM SO PROUD!!! LETS TELL ABBA, BUBBY ETC. All your excitement will help him forget the few seconds of trauma when you forced him to sit. This worked for me and my son.