My father | Imamother

yihyetov

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 4:28 pm

[quote="shosh"]There's little I can say apart from give you all a bracha:

May your father find a refuah shleima bekarov. May he live all of his 120 years, and may he have much nachas from you, your brother, and all of his grandchildren, including the ones that will be born to you, iy"H ....

Hug

[/quote]

Amen Viamen!!!! Hug

ClaRivka

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 5:33 pm

I just spoke to a friend of mine whos father passed away a yr ago from cancer in the same place. she said they caught it early too and he had only 3 years to live...3 YEARS!!! (If were lucky)

Shalshelet

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 5:47 pm

ClaRivka,

A BIG speedy refuah Shileima to your father! Hug

You should know that not all cancer is a death sentence.

wikipedia wrote:

Cancer has a reputation for being a deadly disease. While this certainly applies to certain particular types, the truths behind the historical connotations of cancer are increasingly being overturned by advances in medical care. Some types of cancer have a prognosis that is substantially better than nonmalignant diseases such as heart failure and stroke.

Dance2it

Wed, Dec 02 2009, 5:57 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your father. My aunt was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer that spread to lymph, she then got leukemia twice. She has had a successful bone marrow transplant and is NED( no evidence of disease)B"H. Cancer does not mean death, it means you fight hard. May Hashem grant him a refuah sheleima bekarov!

hila

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 1:34 am

Refua Shlema - hope that you can get through this. And I am glad you are there for them.

Be strong !

{{{{ hugs }}}}

joy613

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 3:31 am

I hope he has a refuah sheleima

freidasima

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 4:10 am

Clarivka, don't believe bad statistics, every case is different, if it was a tumor at the head of the pancreas that's one thing and somewhere else in the pancreas is another. The main thing is that they reroute which is what they will obviously do (the bile ducts) and that he starts getting treatment. Beezras Hashem it will help.

How long does he have? You have heard the statistics. However for certain kinds, depending where, how fast they caught it and how one responds to treatment it can be MUCH longer. And during that time they come up with new things. I know someone who is alive with this after 15 years still. Alive and functioning. He was VERY lucky, had tremendous siata dishmaya. I wish this for your father as well.

yersp

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 11:56 am

Refuah Shelaymah!
((HUGS))

hadasa

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 1:31 pm

May Hashem give you and your family much strength to pull through this difficult time. Remember, it is all in His hands, and with His help, may your father have a complete and speedy recovery.

hardworkingmommy

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 1:34 pm

Refuah shelmah, I will have him in mind in my tefilos especially by Licht bentchin. Be strong Smile

rivkeah

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 2:07 pm

refuah shelmah , we hope to hear only good news fast

bobby

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 2:32 pm

may he have a speedy recovery and be zoche to be part in many family simchas!!

sarahnurit

Thu, Dec 03 2009, 4:03 pm

Refua Shlema, be strong!!!!!! We are all praying for you!

ClaRivka

Fri, Dec 04 2009, 5:21 am

I hope you understand that I cannot comment on each of your wonderful posts. I t would take forever and we'd b up to 20 pages by now!!

went to indy today. BH the nurses are being sooo nice!
One of the murse's went out to the kosher grocery store to get my fathter kosher cottage cheese!
My mother asked one of the nurse's if there was a gym in the hospital that she could possibly use as she is trying her hardest to lose weight. the nurse told her the gym was for medical personnel of course but in the dialysis waiting room there was a bicycle. She brought the bicycle to my fathers room so that she could use it while my father was sleeping!!
every nurse that passes the room stops to say hello and ask if they can do anything.
where else but in the midwest can you find such ppl?

My father isnt as yellow as he was last shabbes. He's been eating alot. He lost 19 pounds and over the next week he is supposed to gain that all back to b strong enough for the surgery.

I'm having a very hard time bc I feel like noone in my family has anything to say. Yes, I have complete emunah that he will get better. Or rather I have complete emunah that whatever hashem does is the best thing. Which is the right way to think?

My brother has not expressed any feelings of frustration or heartbreak or anything. he just says he's trying to b hopeful. Can't I be hopeful but let my feelings out so that we can both encourage eachother??

All my father says is "Im yirtzeh hashem" still say tehillim and make sure he's on every mishaberach list.

And of course my mother is all smiles and trying to keep upbeat and hopeful.

If I am not all smiles and positivity around him am I giving him a reason to give up or feel sorry for himself?? someone said that the second he gives up is when he'll go downhill. could I be a cause of that if it ever comes?

My husband says to keep saying tehillim and that everything will b ok.

I cant wait til my therapist comes back from her vaca in EY!!!

I'm also having some trouble with "why bad things happen to good ppl". My father is a tzaddik and im almost certain a lamed vav. Is he suffering bc I dont cover my hair in my house when im alone all the time? Or bc I sometimes forget to bentch or say brachos? Or I dont get out of bed like a lion? Or bc I dont walk around all day with a smile on my face?
Why him??? He hasnt missed a minyan in the past 12 years. He started out like rabbi akiva- he didnt learn alef bais or how to learn until his late 30's. He's never spoken a bad word abt anyone! He is the epitomy of chesed!! He's always learning and striving to grow and drinks up anything you can teach him abt anything. If he repeats something in the name of someone else he ALWAYS apologizes first to the person he's quoting bc he COULDVE heard what they said wrong. I just dont see why hashem decided he should get an illness..

Thank you for listening.

MimsCH

Fri, Dec 04 2009, 5:27 am

ClaRivka, you're amazing!
But don't blame yourself for this or that...!
the only thing you could do is like e.g. cover your hair even when you're alone and in that zechus your father should have a refua sheleima! Zechusim are very important for sick ppl.!
keep strong!

ra_mom

Fri, Dec 04 2009, 3:06 pm

ClaRivka, it's NOT your fault that your dear father is sick.
It's not anyone's fault.
It's not a punishment.
We can't understand it, but it's not a punishment.
You are amazing, and everything and anything that you do will help be"H.
May Hashem send your father a Yeshuah and full Refuah Kiheref Ayin!!!

merelyme

Sat, Dec 05 2009, 3:19 pm

refuah sheleimah!!

ClaRivka

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 6:13 pm

update:

My parents just arrived home. my mother has to faten him up! its so weird to think that my father is eating high calorie and high fat things. He has a history of heart disease and colon cancer and he's a dr so he's always taken care of himself extremely well.

They have to go back to indy on friday for outpatient surgery to put a camera in to see everything around the abdomen.

the dr says that the tumor is right next to a big vein that goes into the liver so they want him to do radiation and chemo for a few weeks to shrink it so that when they go in to take I out they wont nick the vein.

greenfire

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 6:31 pm

don't blame yourself ... Hashem takes care of everything ... א"ה he will have a refuah shelaima !!!

chaylizi

Mon, Dec 07 2009, 6:39 pm

ClaRivka, I'm an oncology nurse. If you have any questions, you are welcome to pm me.

Just remember one thing. Statistics don't work for or against people. People become part of the statistics only afterward.