twins birthday | Imamother

thatslife

Wed, Apr 22 2009, 12:11 pm

my twins just had a birthday (boy and girl) and I started to think about this what do ppl with twins do for birthdays when they have a boy and a girl. I mean at what age do you start making seperate birthdays and how do you work it out.

RachelEve14

Wed, Apr 22 2009, 12:57 pm

Mine are both girls, but I will probably do separate parties for them next year when they are in different classes. I would assume the same for a boy & a girl. I think it depends on when boys & girls in your community separate, and what class(es) your kids are in.

mummy-bh

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:11 am

I have a question about party etiquette. My twins have been invited to a birthday party (these kids are only two! but that's a whole other thread....), I assume I'm meant to send two separate gifts? What do you do?

tovarena

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 8:44 am

mummy-bh wrote:

When we do this (we've already done the 1 year old birthday circuit! shock

), we bring just one gift, but I do usually make it a little bigger gift than I might otherwise. So, for instance, if I might normally have spent $10, I might spend $15 instead. We're not doing birthday parties every week (yet!), so it's not a ton more but I can give something just a bit nicer.

Isramom8

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 9:45 am

drumjj wrote:

na if its twins going to a party u dont have to send two gifts I dont think. but if its ppl giving twins they should def get a gift each

Agree.
But once they get invited to expensive simchas like bar mitzvahs, money gifts should reflect the number of people attending.

mummy-bh

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 10:02 am

Thanks for the replies. I hear what you're saying, but I'm so concerned that my twins will be just known as 'the twins', as opposed to two separate girls, if you know what I mean, since they are identical and of similar appearance. So that is my primary motivation for thinking that I should get two gifts, one from each of them instead of one larger one from 'the twins'. Confused

Hmmm.... I guess the recipient is still young enough not to notice, though! Wink

Sorry to have hijacked, thatslife! I would think that people start making separate parties when they are no longer together in school, as RachelEve said.

Isramom8

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 10:14 am

If it's important het they be seen as individuals, .maybe you can give the kind of gift where they can each give one part, that complments another part. Like a doll, and her clothes; or a kiddie computer, and a disk for it. Know what I mean? But not like each gives one roller skate!

drumjj

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 11:28 am

well being an identical twin and always getting called the twins I just think that is a fact of life and a present at a party isnt going to make a difference. what makes a difference is dressing differently and letting the children develop their own personalities as they get older

Isramom8

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 3:35 pm

The twin girls in my 2 year old's gan are never dressed alike. Even as babies, in the shoe store their mother dealt with one at a time, and bought them different shoes that she felt were right for each girl. As a result, the ganenet never says. "boker tov Efrat v'Tamar" - instead, she greets each one separately. On Purim they dressed as identical princesses, and it was a real v'hanafoch hu"!

devy88

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:17 pm

as a twin myself, I always thought it was terribly unfair.

first of all, everyone would just get us gifts to "share". we weren't any different than any other sisters, so what made pp think we would wana share our gifts? (I mean, I know we're a freak of nature LOL

scientifically speaking but that's as far as it goes.)

and about the teacher thing, we learnt in one class since that's it there was and one teacher actually had the gall to say "which one are you? oh, never mind...it doesn't matter anyway" Sad

I guess she thought it was funny but I thought that was pretty nasty.

so getting back to the point-if it's not expensive and the money won't make that big of a difference, I would suggest getting two separate gifts.

Isramom8

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:25 pm

Even sisters of different ages share lots of things, but I can sympathize with the frustration of never owning anything personally because you're identity is "part of a set".

I knew twins that shared everything, even underwear. And my daughters close in age share that too, but it's because they fit into the same size, not because they aren't seen as individuals.

devy88

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:59 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

well what used to happen was that we had two of everyhing (not school clothes, those were uniforms) and then once we got a little older and didn't want to wear matching, we basically owned one set of clothing and alternated it. only once we got engaged did we start shopping for separate wardrobes.

I always hated the identical dressing thing, it's cute when ur 2 years old, but when you're 14, 15...not so much.

and the interesting thing is, we were known because we were one of the only twins in school so everyone knew the "____ twins", but pp never actually knew us, they wouldn't even know who was who when they spoke to us.

now my husband passed this test with flying colors: first time he saw my twin, I asked him "can you tell the difference between me and her?" he said yes. I asked him how and he said "I don't know, not something specific it just doesn't feel like it's you".

that's when I knew it was love Very Happy

anonymom

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 9:38 pm

[quote="devy88now my husband passed this test with flying colors: first time he saw my twin, I asked him "can you tell the difference between me and her?" he said yes. I asked him how and he said "I don't know, not something specific it just doesn't feel like it's you".

that's when I knew it was love Very Happy

[/quote]

That's awesome!

Isramom8

Fri, Apr 24 2009, 12:12 am

anonymom wrote:

That's awesome![/quote]

Yeah, it's really nice, because if I had identical twins I would worry about shidduchim, like who for whom?

devy88

Fri, Apr 24 2009, 2:07 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

anonymom wrote:

That's awesome!

Yeah, it's really nice, because if I had identical twins I would worry about shidduchim, like who for whom?[/quote]

well that would be the same as with just sisters-who for whom. please don't forget we ARE two separate people and in some cases might be two totally different personalities as well.

Hashem knows what to give everyone...no worries