Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

ChossidMom ↓

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 2:26 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN:
Well you know, that chicken was crossin' Main Street because the gosh darn economy is so bad that Joe Six Pack and Hockey Mom were chasin' it for dinner.

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don' t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

d!ck CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks .

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain, alone .

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace
.

BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one??

Tehilla ↓

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 2:30 pm

ChossidMom wrote:

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

should I be worried that I've started talking like this occasionally?

↑ ChossidMom ↓

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 2:59 pm

Yes. But so does my husband ("In my day we didn't have to drive everywhere. I walked 5 kilometers to school every day, through the orchards blah, blah, blah")

↑ Tehilla ↓

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:01 pm

uphill in the snow barefoot...

greenfire

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:01 pm

okay - I must confess here ... when I saw the "candidates" I'm like oh no not political stuff ... but I just had to see what martha stewart said and I realized there were some good ones ... you had me rotfl literally Nervous

ozfest

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:05 pm

Tehilla wrote:

uphill in the snow barefoot...

Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch..

"House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling"

PS Greenfire's right..it does get funnier as you read along...

↑ ChossidMom

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:08 pm

The funny thing is that my dh really DID walk to school through the orchards in Rechovot. Sorry, Tehilla. No snow in Rechovot! It's just that when I hear him say this to the kids I groooooan because he sounds like Grandpa!

↑ Tehilla ↓

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:10 pm

I got that line growing up, LOL.

Maya

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:13 pm

I loved it! I remember reading it somewhere, but it's good enough to laugh at again and again.

Thanks.

flowerpower

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:14 pm

It's so cute! Thanks for the laugh.

Coffee3

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 3:21 pm

Yesterday I was looking up books to see if they had one for kids at the library with this question.
They don't have the one I want..
I used to have a wonderful poster that had a picture of a computer generating answers to that question. I wish I could find it Sad

Fox

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 4:52 pm

Tehilla wrote:

uphill in the snow barefoot...

Yes, uphill both ways in the snow, barefoot . . . !

yo'ma

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 4:55 pm

ChossidMom wrote:

Yes. But so does my husband ("In my day we didn't have to drive everywhere. I walked 5 kilometers to school every day, through the orchards blah, blah, blah")

My mother says that she walked umpteen miles to school every day in the snow, rain, everything. Uh, Ma, you grew up in L.A. LOL

↑ Tehilla

Wed, Nov 19 2008, 5:09 pm

Fox wrote:

Tehilla wrote:

uphill in the snow barefoot...

Yes, uphill both ways in the snow, barefoot . . . !

are you related to me?