High pressure job | Imamother

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:59 pm

I have an extremely high pressure, heavy responsibility job which pays pretty well (150k)
I also have a husband and children to tend to and I’m finding it very difficult to manage it all. Dh has ups and downs in his work when things get busy/slow. When it’s slow he’s more hands on, when he’s busy, I’m basically a solo parent.
Suppers are barely made around here, the house is always cluttered with things that I need to take care of but haven’t been able to, we never host guests, I buy take out all the time, and every time there’s a lag in childcare it causes enormous stress trying to figure out what to do. I come home every day completely depleted of energy, stressed about work, and have no patience for my children.
We need the money to pay our bills, being a SAHM or cutting back much on salary isn’t an option.
Are there lower stress jobs that pay 150k + salaries? Or am I just stuck because I need the money?

stillnewlywed

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:15 am

Wow that's tough. I don't think you have a choice though, something will have to give. If you come home every day depleted of energy and can't take care of your kids, something has to change.
Is there an option to go partly remote with your work? Or maybe cut back on your job but work privately on the side to get more per hour?
Is there really no way for you to manage with less money, if that means cutting back on extended childcare, takeout, cleaning help etc ?
All things to think about.

amother

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:18 am

amother NeonGreen wrote:

What are your hours?!

In my position there aren’t really hours, it’s a responsibility and that means I work nights/weekends/etc when I need to which is very often. I’m usually physically at work from about 9:30-3:45 which is never enough time so I end up working nights too.

amother

NeonGreen

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:36 am

amother OP wrote:

I think this is the issue more than the ‘high pressure’ My job can be high pressure and stressful but I have strict hours and (due to the nature of the role) working from
Home is both not an option nor is it encouraged if it were so I’m always able to turn off. Sounds like even when you’re home you can’t focus on yourself or family/home time.

amother

Papaya

Mon, May 06 2024, 7:56 am

amother OP wrote:

I just want to say I really feel for you!
I was in your exact position until recently. (But I still killed myself to have fresh supper, very organized house etc. Until I realized that this is NOT a normal life.
I downgraded my job a bit. (Barely work at night. whatever I can do during my official working hours I do, and that' that) Still lots and lots of pressure and a lot of resposibilities but now my salary is more like 90k. which is difficult. But at least I can breathe a little better.

amother

Whitesmoke

Mon, May 06 2024, 8:20 am

I started to work from home a few days a week. I start before the kids wake up. I take a 30 minute power nap during lunch and I eat while I work. Everything we need to do is on a large calendar for the house so nothing is stuck in my brain or memory. I stop when the kids come home and finish up anything at night. I’m under so much less pressure this way. On a bad day, I’ll switch to do more work at night and even take a shower, go out for lunch, etc. I don’t cook every day, we have a lot of leftovers. When they don’t like it, they either make a tuna melt or a baked potato in the microwave. They thankfully have no complaints.

amother

Pearl

Mon, May 06 2024, 8:58 am

My friend has a similar job and started ordering prepared ingredients from a kosher meal prep company
She doesn’t have to shop for the food and it’s super easy to prepare the food. And family has home cooked dinner.

amother

Tue, May 07 2024, 11:46 pm

Not working nights isn’t an option in my position. It’s not always that I work nights but very often.
A few of my children are going through difficult phases right now and need an extreme amount of support.
Dh tells me he feels he is doing too much and so do I. The problem is he’s not actually making much money right now, he’s just hoping to make money from what he’s working on. (He has a job with unpredictable income)
I’m wondering if anyone knows of any jobs that pay 150 for more stability and less consistent chaos

Frumomsi

Wed, May 08 2024, 12:31 am

If the job is less stress, it’s less pay. That’s the rule. There are definitely exceptions but that’s usually the rule. I’m not sure what field you are in so it’s difficult to make recommendations.

I would also suggest considering putting in another hour a day in the office instead of doing as much nights and weekends. Are you maybe stressed because you are trying to squeeze a full time job into part time hours?

amother

Pewter

Wed, May 08 2024, 9:08 am

Something I found really helped me is having a system for things so I dont need to think, and I have what I need when I need it.

eg I have a 4 week supper menu, I set it up so my kids stop complaining about supper, but I found it made a huge difference to high stress times, as the system was in place and followed it on autopilot.
Lunch and snacks went by days of the week, so Monday was a, tuesday was b, wednesday was c etc. It means I dont ask the kids what do you want, and check if I have the right spreads/snacks etc so preparing lunch took 10 mins instead of half an hour. It also cut out all the drama with the kids saying they dont like it, as I sat down with them and we came up with a plan that works.

Same with laundry and cleaning (cleaning gets done by the cleaner - I have 2 hours cleaning help a week and in between I do what I can (not much!!) but I know that at least once a week my house gets cleaned)