Schools Enforcing a Rule in the Rulebook

amother

Fri, May 03 2024, 11:19 am

Schools have rules in their books. Some related directly towards education and attendance.
Some about codes and behaviors and expectations of their students. (Im talking about students, not family).

Do the schools have a right to enforce the rules? Why or why not?
Can a school decide to take a harder line on a rule that they were previously lax on enforcing?

My child's school is starting to crack down on enforcing a rule that has been in the book, and the students (upper high school) sign on, and they remind the students and parents over the year.
But now, they're enforcing it and penalizing the rule breakers and I'm of two minds in this.

On the one hand, it's in the books, they were warned, and the school has a right to enforce the rules they want.

On the other hand, it's hard for the kids with possible long-term ramified, and the rule was ignored before.

I keeping it vague to protect privacy and so I can hear opinions.
It's about student standard not family standards.

amother

Daffodil

Fri, May 03 2024, 11:49 am

They do have the right to change enforcement. Doesn't mean it's a good decision necessarily, but technically speaking they have such a right.

There should be communication about the change in enforcement policy before any enforcement occurs, and it should be enforced fairly, not selectively.

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:36 pm

I wish the schools would enforce rules. Drives me nuts when they have rules and policies and don’t follow them I think it’s a terrible message for the kids.
Of course the rules should be reasonable, I’m not encouraging a 50 page handbook nitpicking everything but it’s hard to encourage my kids to follow specific rules of the School when no one else do

amother

Foxglove

Fri, May 03 2024, 1:05 pm

I think that the school is required to give advanced notice that they will be enforcing this strictly from then on. If it was, say, a dress code rule about skirt length and the girls have been wearing shorter skirts woth zero issues and one day they come in in the same skirts and all get detention or sent home to change, not ok. But an email sent home that this will be enforced from now on gives everyone notice to comply.

Also, if it's something that can change the climate of the school and/or may be a pretty difficult change for a bunch of kids, I think that there should be a real advanced notice. Do it for the next school year and announce it by the end of this one, to give people time to adjust or possibly even go elsewhere if needed. If it's a high school, theu should be making this clear arpund admissions time.

amother

Fri, May 03 2024, 1:20 pm

The problem that I see is that when a school starts enforcing a rule, giving a consequence, and then the parents get upset at the school for the consequence.

We pass judgement on the school so quickly.

Let's say the school clearly states that a certain amount of attendance infractions will result in being asked not to return to the school.
Then the next year, the parents are struggling to look for a new school, badmouthing the school and the administrators. Everyone is so quick to agree that the school is in the wrong.

Look, I think the school should be enforcing the rules. But then I think we, as parents need to accept the enforcement and not fight it, even if it's our own child, and even if we don't agree with the rule.

seeker

Fri, May 03 2024, 1:45 pm

If they've been letting it go until now, they should hold a meeting with the students informing them that they're about to get serious. Then they should go ahead and enforce, but depending on the nature of the rule and the consequences, it might be nice to give a warning/lesser consequence for the first time before coming down full force.

amother

Daffodil

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Let's say the school clearly states that a certain amount of attendance infractions will result in being asked not to return to the school.
Then the next year, the parents are struggling to look for a new school, badmouthing the school and the administrators. Everyone is so quick to agree that the school is in the wrong.

A lot is being skipped here. I will assume that the school announced its intent to strictly enforce this rule prior to the start of the year, to the entire parent and student body. And also that the school had a series of explicit and escalating communications reiterating the looming expulsion consequence with individual families as their student's unexcused absences accumulated. And also repeatedly invited the family to share any special challenges they were facing that contributed to this. Then definitely, I would think the school made a very good effort.

But let's say the school just has this written policy of expulsion after 12 unexcused absences in the handbook. And nobody says anything as student Rivka goes from 3 unexcused absences by Sukkos, to 6 by winter break, to 10 by Pesach. And then the week after school ends, Rivka's parents get a letter saying "Don't come back next year, per Chapter 2.1.1. , page 32 of the Handbook, because you had 13 unexcused absences this year." That's not OK.

Those are two extremes, but often things fall somewhere in the middle.

amother

Pearl

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:13 pm

Yes they should and could. My kids school started cracking down on one because everyone was breaking it. They sent a letter and spoke to the students. They also warned that crying to them that they are mean for cracking down isn’t going to get you out of it. Don’t break it period.

Just because you got away with them enforcing it from the start doesn’t mean you were ever allowed to break it. They don’t have to enforce the rules for you to follow it. We sign that we will keep the rules in school so it’s 100% wrong to not keep it regardless of if it’s enforced or not.

amother

NeonOrange

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

That’s not a student standard that’s a family standard. Family standards needs more warning and communication before enforcing a policy that hasn’t yet been enforced because you’re essentially punishing the student for a decision the parent is making. It’s much trickier.
Since you said student standard I’m imagining cutting a class or a tznius infraction or bringing/using a smart phone to school or hanging out somewhere or with someone they’re not supposed to. Those things don’t need much warning for people to change they’re behavior and it’s fair to put the burden of compliance on the student.

amother

Burntblack

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

If the rule makes sense, the students and parent body properly warned about it and the severity of the consequences match the severity of he rule being broken then I don't see why it should become an issue.

Take attendance. If the student's constant lateness and absence is disturbing the class, the student and their family have been warned about it and the punishment, say expulsion, makes sense, no one will be badmouthing or pasding judgement on the school.

I'm all for enforcing rules like what I mentioned above. It's high time for some students and their parents to realize that sometimes actions have consequences.

UQT

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:31 pm

My daughter is in that school. All year she was begging me to break the rule but I stood strong. Now she’s thankful! But it’s tricky bec there are some rules in the book that the entire school violates, everyone knows and no one blinks.
But I do think parents knew to start this is an ironclad rule. Some people break it every year and get away with it. But I knew if the school found out we broke it they would be livid.

amother

Burntblack

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:36 pm

UQT wrote:

But I do think parents knew to start this is an ironclad rule. Some people break it every year and get away with it. But I knew if the school found out we broke it they would be livid.

This is a different issue. If a school wants to enforce a rule, the first step would be to abolish nepotism. I don't care how much money or yichus everyone else has, in this school we expect students to conform to xyz and that means everyone. Once schools get that straight, they should have no issues with enforcing rules that make sense.

amother

Stoneblue

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:37 pm

I wish…schools would enforce handbook rules before it gets to this point. But unfortunately, they don’t. I’m a rule follower and this bugs me to no end. It’s also really bad chinuch to make rules and let people get away with them.

I think it also depends on how many people re breaking the rule currently. If it’s 30%, you can still find a chance to save face. One it’s 50% and over, I almost feel like it’s hopeless to even try.

UQT

Fri, May 03 2024, 2:55 pm

Once a camp sent home that only a certain phone would be acceptable. I spent $150 on it to find out I was the only loser who did so. I called the camp director out on it and was told I should have understood from the rule that you could bring your other phone but it can’t be seen publicly. This way kids don’t bring it to activities and the camp is basically phone free except in the bunkhouses. Call me dumb but I totally didn’t get that memo.
Rule books should be gone through and whittled down to what is enforceable and important to the hanhalah. It also makes it easier on the parents to know what to enforce so it’s not like we’re guessing which rules no one follows.