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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Thu, May 02 2024, 1:18 pm
ever sat on your baby and it took a few minutes to retrieve the baby and discipline your toddler?
If you answered yes, do you consider yourself an abusive mom?
Just wondering.
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amother
Moonstone
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:19 pm
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It may have taken a few minutes because I was in the bathroom or in the next room, not because I was actively not doing anything to save my baby.
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amother
Cobalt
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:22 pm
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I've let toddler sit on baby and both were giggling. If baby were crying I'd stop it, but why assume that's the case?
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:25 pm
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Huh? What does this have to do with gentle parenting? And it all depends on how old your baby is and if they were in distress. I would never just sit and watch this happen if the baby was screaming.
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:34 pm
| amother OP wrote: | ever sat on your baby and it took a few minutes to retrieve the baby and discipline your toddler?
If you answered yes, do you consider yourself an abusive mom?
Just wondering. |
This is not the same as choosing on purpose to allow a child to sit on a baby & choosing on purpose to ignore it, not remove the child, and not discipline the child.
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amother
OP
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:39 pm
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Idk just feel the criticism of that op has gone a bit too far.
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SuperWify
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:40 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Idk just feel the criticism of that op has gone a bit too far. |
So in the holy name of gentle parenting (which I’m for all provided it’s safe), we should allow our toddlers to jump on the baby?
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amother
Jetblack
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:42 pm
| SuperWify wrote: | | So in the holy name of gentle parenting (which I’m for all provided it’s safe), we should allow our toddlers to jump on the baby? |
Or hit the cleaning lady because WE decided that it doesn't hurt
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amother
Junglegreen
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Thu, May 02 2024, 1:58 pm
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Have my kids done toddler things as toddlers? Of course they did. Did it sometimes happen when I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been? Yes, of course that happened. But the moment I was aware of the situation, I removed the child from the situation and into safety. Safety first, then we can talk about feelings or whatever after.
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, May 02 2024, 2:04 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Idk just feel the criticism of that op has gone a bit too far. |
It has not. That OP doesn't seem to know what gentle parenting really means and she has to know that it is irresponsible to allow a child to hurt others, in the name of gentle parenting.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, May 02 2024, 2:06 pm
This post is confusing
What do gentle parenting, toddler sitting on baby and abusive mom have to do with each other?
Gentle parenting is a parenting method.
Toddler sitting on baby is sad - toddlers to that sometimes and parents need to be careful not to leave child alone with baby.
Abusive mom? The toddler baby situation is neglect. Not abuse.
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, May 02 2024, 2:09 pm
| amother Chartreuse wrote: | This post is confusing
What do gentle parenting, toddler sitting on baby and abusive mom have to do with each other?
Gentle parenting is a parenting method.
Toddler sitting on baby is sad - toddlers to that sometimes and parents need to be careful not to leave child alone with baby.
Abusive mom? The toddler baby situation is neglect. Not abuse. |
An OP on a different thread is congratulating herself that gentle parenting "works" for her, and an example she gave is that she ignores and doesn't do anything when her older child sits on the baby, she just waits it out for the child to eventually get up on his own & doesn't discipline the child for hurting the baby.
She doesn't seem to understand, that this is not what gentle parenting means & that this is just irresponsible parenting.
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amother
OP
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Thu, May 02 2024, 2:29 pm
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I started this thread because everyone jumped on that op for making a mistake in her method. I just want to point out that we all make mistakes, whatever method we use.
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amother
Honeydew
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Thu, May 02 2024, 2:41 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I started this thread because everyone jumped on that op for making a mistake in her method. I just want to point out that we all make mistakes, whatever method we use. |
And that's why we don't publicly congratulate ourselves for a parenting job well done. Yes, I have learned much over time. I have successes and failures. I am human. And so are my children.
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amother
Trillium
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Thu, May 02 2024, 4:30 pm
We all make mistakes
We all admit they were mistakes
We don't think that those mistakes are good parenting.
A ground rule in any house has to be that everyone feels safe. Whatever it takes.
That includes the baby, grandparents and cleaning lady.
You don't need to punish a toddler for behaving like a toddler but you do need to remove them from whatever they are doing that is hurting other people.
So if a toddler is hitting a grandparent or sitting on the baby, they need to be removed from the situation. You don't have to yell at them, give them time out, hold their hands still or hit them but you do need to keep everyone safe.
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amother
Nemesia
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Thu, May 02 2024, 9:18 pm
| amother Trillium wrote: | We all make mistakes
We all admit they were mistakes
We don't think that those mistakes are good parenting.
A ground rule in any house has to be that everyone feels safe. Whatever it takes.
That includes the baby, grandparents and cleaning lady.
You don't need to punish a toddler for behaving like a toddler but you do need to remove them from whatever they are doing that is hurting other people.
So if a toddler is hitting a grandparent or sitting on the baby, they need to be removed from the situation. You don't have to yell at them, give them time out, hold their hands still or hit them but you do need to keep everyone safe. |
Just curious, what's the next step after you remove them from the situation? I have the type of kid who would immediately race back and repeat the action that got them removed, specifically cuz they were told not to do it.
Example tonight- child was poking younger sibling with a fork. Was warned once not to poke sibling, then was moved away from sibling. Immediately moved back to poke again. It's suppertime, multiple kids have needs, can't exactly disappear for x amount of time to deal with this child and the poking.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, May 02 2024, 9:21 pm
| amother Nemesia wrote: | Just curious, what's the next step after you remove them from the situation? I have the type of kid who would immediately race back and repeat the action that got them removed, specifically cuz they were told not to do it.
Example tonight- child was poking younger sibling with a fork. Was warned once not to poke sibling, then was moved away from sibling. Immediately moved back to poke again. It's suppertime, multiple kids have needs, can't exactly disappear for x amount of time to deal with this child and the poking. |
Take away the fork....
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amother
Aquamarine
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Thu, May 02 2024, 9:22 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I started this thread because everyone jumped on that op for making a mistake in her method. I just want to point out that we all make mistakes, whatever method we use. |
I don’t do gentle parenting (but I’m not a great parent) but it’s never taken me a few minutes to get a toddler to stop sitting on a baby. The moment I notice it, the toddler comes off- I take the toddler off.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Thu, May 02 2024, 9:23 pm
| amother Nemesia wrote: | Just curious, what's the next step after you remove them from the situation? I have the type of kid who would immediately race back and repeat the action that got them removed, specifically cuz they were told not to do it.
Example tonight- child was poking younger sibling with a fork. Was warned once not to poke sibling, then was moved away from sibling. Immediately moved back to poke again. It's suppertime, multiple kids have needs, can't exactly disappear for x amount of time to deal with this child and the poking. |
So what did you do? The child just kept poking the other child?
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