 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
|
amother
↓
|
 Sat, Aug 23 2008, 9:56 pm
We just received notice that the tuition committee feels we can pay $20,500 for our four children. That's just over half of our take-home pay of $40,500! 
Nobody, not the most frugal person on the planet, can feed, clothe, and house a family of 6 KA"H for $20,000 a year (after tuition and taxes) without government assistance, which we don't qualify for.
Is everybody being charged a similar amount, or is my family "special" somehow? I just want to know if this is normal?
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 0
|
Chani
|
Sat, Aug 23 2008, 10:05 pm
I'm stunned. Is there any way that you can request a meeting with the head of the committee and ask for reconsideration? Sit down with a budget in hand and go over it with him. It might not help, but there's no harm in trying.
My sympathy...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sat, Aug 23 2008, 10:09 pm
we have 4 kids in school, they want 5000 for each. plus one kid in playgroup, another 150 a month.
that would be 20150 for them all.
we earn 60,000 and are a family of 9.
no clue how we will do it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sat, Aug 23 2008, 10:31 pm
|
My school asked for $10, 260.00 for two children. one in elementary and one in preschool.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Clarissa
↓
|
Sat, Aug 23 2008, 10:50 pm
|
I think it all depends on how much money is designated for FA. If there isn't enough money to help to a greater extent, there's usually not a lot they can do. Whatever criteria they use for making their decisions, they do probably try to be fair across the board, meaning that they use the same rules for all of the families that apply.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 12:22 am
| Chani wrote: | I'm stunned. Is there any way that you can request a meeting with the head of the committee and ask for reconsideration? Sit down with a budget in hand and go over it with him. It might not help, but there's no harm in trying.
My sympathy... |
Yes, we will request a meeting with them and see if we can come to a compromise. I don't want to remove my children from the school, but we may have to. I believe in homeschooling, but I'm not capable of doing it at this time. However, we may be forced into it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 12:29 am
|
Op that sounds quite low. Do you mind telling us where you live since you are amother anyways.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 12:58 am
It isn't low - for my area, it's quite high. Most people I know pay $2500-$3,000 per child. Full tuition around here is often $5,000-6,000. People who live in the Upper East/West Sides or the Five Towns or similar will not relate to this thread, and that's fine. Those who live in areas like mine will understand.
What really gets me is that in these hard economic times, when our household income dropped $10,000 even as gas, heating, and food bills have gone up, the school decided that now is the time to expand its facilities AND hire more directors/principals. I TRULY appreciate everything they're doing, and I know the money us going into the school and not into their pockets, but they have to build the school based on who their parent body really is (average earners), not who they dream us to be (wealthy).
If the average-earning parent body that comprises the school can't afford the larger facilities or the new directors and principals, then the school shouldn't have chosen this time to do that. Just the opposite - they should have pared down their budget just as our family has been forced to do - or at the very least, left things how they were.
But of course I can't go to them and be like, last year it was $3500 per child and this year $5,000, even though our income fell - could this drastic increase be because you hired so much new staff and moved into a bigger building, all of which you managed without before? No way, they would throw me out. But I'd still be right.
And just how does it help their budget for four kids to leave the school? (I don't want my kids to leave the school. I think I'm going to cry...)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
supermama2
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 1:04 am
Have you considered homeschooling?? I'm homeschooling right now.
Let me know if you want info.
All the best to you! ((hugs))
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Tamiri
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 1:24 am
Before you start to cry, take a deep breath. Nothing is written in stone, and you will be able to appeal. But first, look around you and try to see what they see (for sure the amount they mailed you does not make sense based on your income but....)
What kind of house do you live in? What is the monthly mortgage?
What kind of/how many cars do you drive?
Have you recently done work on the house?
Have you gone away for vacation/Pesach?
Do you have your children in sleep away camp?
Do you have "under the table" income which, although not reported, everyone knows you are earning?
Sometimes, the answers to these questions are deciding factors.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 2:17 am
| Tamiri wrote: | Before you start to cry, take a deep breath. Nothing is written in stone, and you will be able to appeal. But first, look around you and try to see what they see (for sure the amount they mailed you does not make sense based on your income but....)
What kind of house do you live in? What is the monthly mortgage?
What kind of/how many cars do you drive?
Have you recently done work on the house?
Have you gone away for vacation/Pesach?
Do you have your children in sleep away camp?
Do you have "under the table" income which, although not reported, everyone knows you are earning?
Sometimes, the answers to these questions are deciding factors. |
We don't own a house, we have one somewhat old car which we are giving to my brother because we can't afford it anymore, we have painted one room in the last year by ourselves without a painter, we have not gone on any vacations, our kids sat at home all summer, and we have no under the table income.
However, we do have a wonderfully supportive extended family. We pay a normal rent, but we live in a nicer house than what we pay because it belongs to my mom. However, we MUST and we DO pay rent like anyone else, as she can't afford to pay the mortgage for us - just we get more house for our money than others would. We're completely honest with the school and they know what we pay and that the house is my Mom's. I am giving my brother my car, which sounds like my loss, but he loaned us the money for registration for school and has loaned us money in the past, even given us money. My other brother gives the kids great presents (he has no kids). My mom has taken the kids, two at a time, on vacations with just her, at her expense, to visit my other brother. Except for a slightly quieter house, I didn't benefit.
I think that upsets me the most. My mom and brothers have extended themselves and given a good amount of money to the school during various fund raisers, yet the school turns around and rewards us by raising our tuition by so much? Maybe they think *I* must have so much money just because some of my relatives do? Well, my relatives are not paying my bills, and they're certainly not paying my tuition! And really, the school knows this. We told them, for example, that my mother took over my student loan payments. So we're honest about what help we receive. Maybe they think if we're getting this much help, there must be more hiding? Hmm, well, my mom does sometimes buy the kids candy and snacks, does that cont???
Seriously though, we've been honest with the school, so it hurts us that they might think we're hiding something.
My health is not great right now, and I'm going to have to force myself to work a second job. I don't think my family will appreciate the effect this will have on my or my health, and I'm sure they'll stop donating. How does the school benefit from this??
If my health were better, I would *loooove* to homeschool. But frankly, it's hard for me to just get through the day doing the minimum. I'm hoping that after I work through a few serious health problems, I will be able to do more, maybe even homeschool, but I've has my kids home this summer and have been able to do very little with them. Besides, even if I had the koach, I couldn't afford the gas to take them anywhere this summer - just a rare trip to a local park... 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 2:21 am
|
My mother did buy the kids a big expensive swingset. Is that the problem? She bought it when she found out they'd be sitting home all summer because I couldn't afford camp. In the end I think my kids had a better time at home being free, but my mother thought it was a pity and bought them the swings. She asked me to pay the taxes, but she paid for the swingset itself. Could that be the problem? Nobody from t he school lives near here, but I suppose they could drive by or something.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
↑
Tamiri
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 2:30 am
Please appeal.
But keep this in mind: you yourself write that you MUST pay your mother rent because she can't afford the mortgage on her own. What about the school - they have expenses as well and surely can't be expected to fund your children's chinuch! So, maybe they are thinking: why do we come AFTER all the other stuff. I know that it's not the case - I am just playing devil's advocate. A Jewish education has turned into a rich man's luxury. It has forced women out of the home to work and made blue-collar Jewish male workers pretty much obsolete. Your children may be getting a good education (debatable sometimes) - but at what cost?
It's important to remember that the school, although in place to serve the community, cannot work with nothing. There are teachers and administrators to pay. Buildings and grounds to upkeep. School and office supplies to purchase... you get the picture.
Go back with your story, tell them what you need to and find out how they came to their grand total. It's not a game of us vs. them - both sides are just trying to keep their head above water.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 3:09 am
I just wanted to add, I'm wearing the same cheap Asian hair shaitel for four years now! I don't even pay to wash and set it, but do it all myself at home. I've had to dye it myself twice already, using dyes from the store to make it look more normal as it turned orangeish over the years. Finally I broke down and bought a synthetic wig from Paula Young on sale for $29.95, which actually fits and looks okay for now. We are sooooo far from rolling in money. I cook everything from scratch, even pizza, using dough I made myself. We really do struggle.
And when I think of the four little schoolbags downstairs waiting to be filled with all the school supplies that I just overdrew my bank account to buy, not to mention uniforms, and I picture telling my kids that there will be no school this year, I think I really, really would cry if I let myself. (For now I'm not letting myself.) Okay, so the kids would probably celebrate not to have school anymore, but I wouldn't, because I know I can't give them over the chinuch they need. That's the most upsetting part I think.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
↑
Tamiri
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 3:21 am
| amother wrote: | I just wanted to add, I'm wearing the same cheap Asian hair shaitel for four years now! I don't even pay to wash and set it, but do it all myself at home. I've had to dye it myself twice already, using dyes from the store to make it look more normal as it turned orangeish over the years. Finally I broke down and bought a synthetic wig from Paula Young on sale for $29.95, which actually fits and looks okay for now. We are sooooo far from rolling in money. I cook everything from scratch, even pizza, using dough I made myself. We really do struggle.
And when I think of the four little schoolbags downstairs waiting to be filled with all the school supplies that I just overdrew my bank account to buy, not to mention uniforms, and I picture telling my kids that there will be no school this year, I think I really, really would cry if I let myself. (For now I'm not letting myself.) Okay, so the kids would probably celebrate not to have school anymore, but I wouldn't, because I know I can't give them over the chinuch they need. That's the most upsetting part I think. |
Just contact the school. Something about the number just doesn't add up.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
bubs
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 8:01 am
|
Is this the first time you are applying to this school? I work on the tuition for a day school. I can tell you there is a set formula that we go by. After we receive all your returns, assessments, mortgage documents, etc. we plug in the figures. The application also asks about camps, vacations, medical issues, etc. So all is taken into account before that figure comes out. However, we sometimes really wonder what people hold back. For example, how someone can live on 50k with a mortgage of 25k and support a family? They must be hiding something there and that's when the problems start. If you are up front, don't be afraid of a meeting so the committee really knows how straight you are. This happens all the time and an agreement usually is fair to both. There are many times when there is a cash business that there are suspicions but your case sounds straight forward. Go for it and good luck!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 8:30 am
|
I feel so absolutely awful for all of you that you have this pressure. How do people do it? Even my ds, who is a newly graduated doctor, is having a very difficult time. He is paying off mucho dinero of student loans, then insurance and medical fees in the thousands, and he cannot even afford down payment on a house. Then you hear all these schools having loads of dough for buildings and more buildings, and they are having more and more schools for a dwindling population. They are now building a Jewish Community Center in our area for FORTY MILLION DOLLARS. It is not particularly frum, but now we'll have this fancy pool for Jewish people who won't be Jewish much longer because nonfrum people who can't afford tuition won't send to Jewish schools. I don't know where you live, but here the govt does not give a red dime, not even busing, therapy, etc. Why is everyone not complaining more to the balabatim who create more schools and more buildings? Don't they realize how difficult it is for families with regular wages to pay tuition. And that's with working people. What about kolled people? We need those too. ARGH!!!I just feel that tuition is too important an issue. It should not be left for the ones who can afford it, like buying a pair of shoes. Tuition should be for everyone to pay, whether you have kids in school or not, like public education is. We are taxed whether we have kids in public schools or not.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
octopus
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 8:44 am
saraho., homeschooling is not for everyone. I was home schooled for one year, and, really, it all depends where you live. Like if you live where their other children to play with, even if you are not in a formal school. Because that was one of the worst years for me (certainly not academically- actually one of my best) but socially- horrible!!!
Also, while I understand the schools have to pay their bills, a lot of schools are run like businesses, and bottom dollar is they try to get the max amount of money out of each person. Even if that person is barely scraping it together. so the mother has to work out of the house to make tuition payments. It's quite possible that the mother, drained and exhausted trying to make ends meet, overlooks her kids more than she should.And if her kids have behavioral problems or any other special needs, all of the sudden the schools don't want your kid anymore.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 8:52 am
|
My husband says that maybe we should send the kids to public school. We're not!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
↑
amother
↓
|
Sun, Aug 24 2008, 9:06 am
|
Sorry, I don't think schools act normally. We were supposed to have 4 kids in school and now our daughter is not going to preschool. We requested a scholership and they told us to put our tuition on credit cards if we couldn't afford it. That's the way the schools are these days. Even if your electricity gets shut off, you can't afford food, and you are behind in rent THEY DON'T CARE!! It's sickening if you ask me!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
