My husband and I went out of town where there’s a small shul. It’s frum but a very different type of place than where we are used to. It’s also very tight knit and you definitely feel like an outsider if you’re not from the neighborhood. We got a rental and we are on a tight budget so we thought the cheap rental and making minimal food will be more economical and easy. But I’m not sure it is. Our rental is a studio and so it feels suffocating. There’s not a lot of Jewish people around this building and some of the people are very wild too and I feel like they can tell I’m Jewish and hate me. My skirts and long sleeves get looks when other people are wearing summer clothes. The electric oven is giving me problems. We feel like outsiders in the community. I’m trying so hard to keep it in but dealing with all this while having money issues and a tiny room is making me lose my mind. We are both regretting our joint decision to come here and trying not to make a fuss. I truthfully miss being home. I’m trying to see the positive. Pesach is a time that I like to be away so to wish I was home instead speaks volumes. We live in Brooklyn which is very in town and sometimes feels suffocating. There’s also a lot of crime and safety issues. But at least in Brooklyn we have friends and a real community we feel comfortably in. My husband was healing from a health issue so we came here a little early before Pesach. He didn’t want to be home. So I’m trying to be supportive. I think he’s unhappy here too but he doesn’t want to admit it and I know he’s very sensitive to my mood so I’m trying really hard not to complain. Thank you for listening.
