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S/O social suicide

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Would you judge someone who dressed their child in carter's?

Never

54%

[ 222 ]

Yes. Let's be real.

[ 12 ]

I would think that mom is out of the box, but it wouldn't be social suicide

17%

[ 71 ]

Other

[ 5 ]

I'm not from lakewood, but I like to vote in polls

24%

[ 100 ]

Total Votes : 410

amother

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:22 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

When did frum women go so far off the derech that they think that the brand of clothing someone wears is something that matters? I just can't fathom it.

This poll hasn't been up for too long but thankfully so far we can conclude that most frum women in lakewood don't judge a person based on the brand of their child's clothing. At worst (best?) A few might think the woman in out of the box. Some of us consider that a compliment.

As I suspected, it's a lie for others to claim that "everyone" would judge. Those judging people are a tiny, miserable minority.

amother

Snowdrop

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:25 pm

I work as a lakewood morah
We do not care how your child is dressed
We care if your child is clean!
That means clean clothes, clean face, clean hair
Not snot caked nose and dirty clothes and matted hair and long dirty nails...

Yes I have some coworkers who comment on the ones wearing carters and not frum style but we absolutely do not treat children differently based on their clothing!
If anything I think they're envious that they don't have the self esteem to do what they want and so they feel forced to dress their kids a certain way

tigerwife

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:41 pm

The real secret is that nobody actually cares about what your children are wearing since they are far too busy thinking about their own children’s clothing.

amother

Black

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 11:14 pm

There's no poll option for I'm the one who lives in Lakewood and dresses my kids in Carter's!

But I only use the classier stuff. I find the quality very good and I never go for words or pictures on outfits.

DrMom

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 11:45 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

Then there are people that wear Walmart and other real cheap brands but they carry it so well that they're always asked where it's from.

You have to know whats in and how to style it.

Carry it well?
We're talking about a 3-year-old!

Anybody who would discriminate against somebody because of the manufacturer's label sewed on the inside of his clothing ought to have his head -- and middot-- examined.

But to do this to a toddler is just sick.

GLUE

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 12:34 am

amother Black wrote:

There's no poll option for I'm the one who lives in Lakewood and dresses my kids in Carter's!

Was going to write this, how come this is not a poll option?

amother

Electricblue

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 2:44 am

The issue wouldn't be the carters - its the teenager who is SURE it will destroy HER social standard if the baby is chas veshalom in carters.

And since teenagers are immature and petty, it may actually be true in some cases. My solution - make sure the stuff is "jewish look"

Like this caters item

Instead of this carters item

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 4:35 am

I don't live in Lakewood, but I dress my toddler boy in almost all carter's. I don't like words or pictures, but they have so many great solid/stripes tees and stuff like that. Awesome pj's too. Most of my siblings do live in Lakewood. I sent my sister some links of things I got from carter's and she was so surprised that they have such cute things!
And for the record, most of the links I see posted here are above the price range I'd spend. Carter's has amazing sales too.

DrMom

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 5:25 am

amother Electricblue wrote:

Instead of this carters item

That's "frum fashion?"
That drab brown thing looks like something worn by a Victorian-era foundling.

amother

Viola

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 5:32 am

I love carters. They have cute, inexpensive, good enough quality clothing. If someone out there thinks I'm a neb or have poor taste or not good enough to interact with, that's all about them and nothing about me. I'm being smart, saving money for other more important things. Nor do I have a desire to be friends with such people.
#Brooklyn

amother

Mintcream

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 6:28 am

DrMom wrote:

That's "frum fashion?"
That drab brown thing looks like something worn by a Victorian-era foundling.

amother

Viola

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 6:33 am

The drab clothing- why would I make my children look like they're from an orphanage?
The brown ribbed stuff is awful.

nomismommy

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 6:41 am

DrMom wrote:

That's "frum fashion?"
That drab brown thing looks like something worn by a Victorian-era foundling.

This exactly. It looks absolutely horrible. Small children love colors. I hate the beige/brown/grey "asthaetic" that adults put on kids. Kids should be wearing whats comfortable (that should be a priority!!!), good quality if one can afford and what they like to wear. Even 2 and 3 year olds have preferences. My 3 year old daughter loves blue. Why would I dress her in brown instead? Because my neighbors might think blue is ugly? Who is more important here..my child or my neighbour? To me, its my child and her feelings.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:14 am

I don't get this. I grew up in Lakewood and wouldn't be surprised to see such nonsense prevailing. Who cares what little kids wear? How does that matter? Clean, put together, happy(ish), and healthy are all that matters. I dressed all my kids in fun Carter's, osh kosh... and they never cared. No one else did either. If that is the reason I'm not accepted or their not, welp, that's a community I have no interest in being a part of. My teenage daughter is very popular. Why? Because she's warm, smart, inclusive, and doesn't care a fig for labels. Yes, bh, we can afford any labels she wants and much, much more, but these things aren't important to us. At all. We know of some schools where if you don't have the right looks, money or brands, it's social hell. I would never sign up for that level of gashmiyos. What a waste of life's time. This whole thing is kind of absurd when the real world is on fire and people are struggling to pay for pesach basics. I can't tell you how many calls I've gotten just last night asking for us to help pay for families who can't afford life right now. I'd much rather keep my kids in carter's and help a mother feed her kids or buy herself a robe for yom tov. Our priorities really need to shift, as yiddin. Create more unity and less division. Especially over children's clothing!
*steps gently off my soap box now and hides big, red magephone behind my Walmart clad back*

amother

Linen

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 7:52 am

I definitely think that the op exaggerated. It’s not really social suicide but rather she won’t be considered trendy. That was my understanding, not to be taken so literal.

(I don’t live in Lakewood)

amother

Red

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:18 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

My kids have always been loved by their playgroup morahs and teachers etc

They are smart, cute, good not bratty kids.

My dd has a kid in her class who is always dressed in brand names and is a very bratty kid- if I was her Morah I would NOT like her better because of the labels.

But I live in a neighborhood in Lakewood with a mix of old and young families with most people in kollel so cheap clothing is the norm, whether carters or H&M or target (me) or tottini or Ali express

People who choose to live in ritzier neighborhoods probably feel more pressure

I think ppl worry more about themselves than what others are wearing.

Personally, I can afford any fancy brand name, even for my infant but I choose to buy inexpensive for my little kids like Zara, tottini etc because I'm practical and these kids go through felt like water. I never felt like I had anything to prove and now I feel that even less. But it really irks me when people say, oh those types buy 'cheap'. Go on insta and you'll see plenty of super trendy and wealthy influencers showing things from Walmart, zara etc. They love a good deal.

It is absolutely not how you much spend of your money and 100% knowing what looks good.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:26 am

I live OOT and I have no idea what company people's clothing is. There are cheap brands that look to me like expensive Jewish brands, and I cannot tell the difference. I am not interested in looking at tags.

I babysit, and there are some kids who look very put together, whether it's in Amazon clothing or frum stuff. Other kids come in ratty looking dinosaur t shirts. It never made the slightest difference to me until one day, a ratty t shirt kid had a leaky diaper and had no change of clothing. I put him in a different kid's change of clothes, and the difference was startling. He looked beautiful!!! I suddenly started to wish for him that he had some nicer looking clothing.

And so I would advise parents not to always use cheap looking t shirts. Try to find at least some respectable looking clothing, even if it is carters. It's okay to have some clothing not as nice, but every kid should have a few decent looking things. But decent does not have to mean expensive.

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:44 am

I find that many people dress their little kids today with "nice" clothing almost what an adult would wear rather than cute clothing.

I once suggested to someone that she can buy Carter's if she's looking for cheap, I got the answer that it's not cute Carter style strechies. I was thinking I don't know about you but my baby is so cute that he looks adorable no matter what he wears...

Comptroller

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:48 am

What's Carter?
Is it social suicide because it's too cheap or too expensive?
Keep us foreigners in the loop, please!

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 8:49 am

Delete

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