I did poorly today :(

amother

Fri, Apr 12 2024, 1:02 am

Between purim and pessach my girls don't get homework so they can help mommy get ready for pessach. So far my 5th and 3rd grader have been busy playing ball games, planning pessach camp, pretty much everything under the sun but helping mommy. Usually 30 min before bedtime/ when they finally are done playing and are finally home they'll help ( clean their room for pesach).
Yesterday I told them that today they are being home and helping me. But today came and went and it was a repeat of all other days, but on top of it all I had a migraine.
My baby and toddler needed to be played with and nothing got done 🙄.
Once they finally came home they started asking me to make something for their pessach camp, and I just snapped, (their friend was with them). I told my girls that I think I will have a talk with their principal and ask her to start giving homework since they aren't around to help ( this was said in an annoyed frustrated tone of voice, a bit of high pitched, but not screaming)
Their friend left and my girls watched over the little ones while I hung laundry and reassembled the fridge.
I still feel guilty!!! Could have been more of a grown up and convayed my message in a mature way.
I see all other kids playing and wondering, don't their parents need help? What's wrong with me? So I give in and let my kids be kids and play but then I get this built up of frustration that my hands are tied and I can't get anything done since I have little cuties to take care of.

Any parents out there whose kids help out please pitch in so I don’t feel bad having to ask my kids for help.

PS . I am still glad they don't have HW!!! That would just be another thing to chase my kids after

imaima

Fri, Apr 12 2024, 1:04 am

amother OP wrote:

The only problem I see is saying it in front of the friend.
Otherwise I think you have a reasonable request.

Last edited by imaima on Fri, Apr 12 2024, 5:42 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Maroon

Fri, Apr 12 2024, 1:32 am

I have found myself snapping at DD or DH in similar situations. It seems to me that sometimes our frustration stems from us not truly believing in what we try to do. In your case that would be that you don't like that your kids weren't helping. Maybe being up front about what you expect from them could help you feel more calm, as well as help them know what to expect from you.

Your kids might appreciate you simply saying to them that you were a little frustrated today and are sorry if you were a little harsh with them. That can also open the conversation up for you to talk about what you really want and expect from them.