Tween refuses to wear pads

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amother

Candycane

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:12 am

Not sure what to do. But in the meantime let her know that she should wear black or very dark skirts, and not light skirts, when she is on her period (in case a bit soaks through, less visible on a dark skirt)

Elfrida

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:12 am

I know a lot if people on this site are against tampons for young girls, but in this case I would at least explain the option and let her decide if she wants to try it.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:14 am

Get her cloth pads. They don’t make noise. The noise was the hardest thing for my daughter. They’re also much healthier than regular pads.

Or a cup. See if she’ll try a menstrual cup. Those are the best. I wish I would have known about them when I started my period. Life changing. They have them in very very small for small little bodies. Look into it.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:15 am

amother Acacia wrote:

I always did and still do hate pads. I don’t have real heavy bleeding and I usually stuff in tissues, sort of tampon style, that I change frequently. Works perfectly for me.

That doesn't sound safe.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:16 am

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

I agree that a menstrual cup is worth looking into. Not every young girl is comfortable with it or ready to handle it, but they are much more comfortable and convenient and should be an available option for everyone.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:17 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

That doesn't sound safe.

And pads sound safe? And tampons? With all the chemicals? Probably safer than that.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:18 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

That doesn't sound safe.

I also do it. You just fold tissues and put it at the opening. It’s very safe.

amother

Lime

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:18 am

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

I second the cloth pads, I’ve been using them for years. I absolutely hate the plastic ones and these are super comfortable. I’ve been using them daily at this point. She can technically put one on in the morning and then take off when she comes home and have her period underwear as backup by day and she can use it as is when she comes home and takes off the pad. There are many gorgeous pads out there and that may help her be willing to wear them.

You can get a wet/dry bag to keep them in until she’s done and wash them all together.

I’m not sure if a cup is for her age, although I’ve never tried one….

amother

Lime

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:25 am

If cloth pads interest you do some research and don’t order on a whim. Many are not made well…..
I would not purchase Flannel, Cotton is great for all year round as it’s not sweaty, pique or any other wicking materials are great. I personally love OBV which is Organic Bamboo Velour. However I haven’t purchased in years so a lot of the companies I’ve previously used are no longer around.

Something like this https://www.etsy.com/listing/1.....cloth

Or this one which is wicking Jersey (similar to pique)
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1.....cloth

I can’t recall if I ordered from this company or not but according to the photos the stiching looks great, in order to know what length to order, measure her usual pads and go based on her bleeding pattern if she needs longer or shorter. Same with absorbency if she has light periods you don’t need more than moderate for the heaviest day/night and then just some light pads and possibly a liner or 2 for the days leading up/ending off.

If you need any help you can ask here or search on YouTube there are many videos regarding pads.

Good luck hopefully between all the ideas you can figure something out.

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:28 am

Quote:

Sometimes the type of pad matters for comfort.

Keep conversation open and ask her what bothers her about pads and what solutions she has thought about. Explain what period panties are for after that.

I think period panties and just my opinion, are for the end when a light pad or liner is good.

Explain to her that just as the flow starts and ends off differently, we also can be changing pad absorbency level according to the flow days.

Pads with wings stay on better and therefore more comfortable in my opinion.
Thin pads, always brand, so much more comfortable than others I've tried. CVS makes a similar one for light days. Yellow wrapper.

When talking to her try to see what bothers her about it at home before addressing school. Could be there are separate issues and she may be more comfortable opening up about the home part first.

She's young for tampons. If nothing else goes, tampons, some education how to use and thinx underwear to go with it may help her.

She probably has light periods based on what you are saying. Please let her know that cycles usuallyregulate into regular flows at some point and period underwear often is simply not enough for many people. It can be very embarrassing to leak through.

I'm seriously confused why you're lecturing me. I'm not the OP and I didn't ask for any opinions. Me and my daughter are very happy with the thinx underwear and not sure what this whole megillah is about

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:29 am

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

And pads sound safe? And tampons? With all the chemicals? Probably safer than that.

Tissues are just as likely to have "all the chemicals" as tampons and pads. There are plenty of tampons and pads available that are all natural. The main concern with tampons isn't chemicals, it's bacteria that form if the tampon is left in there too long. With proper use, the risk is extremely low. The risk of TSS from tampons became noticeable when Proctor and Gamble made Rely tampons, which were made of synthetic material and were extremely absorbent, which led to infrequent changing, which gave the bacteria more time to grow in it. Instructions said to change the tampon at least once a day. It is, strangely, still legal to make tampons scented, and it is a terrible idea to buy those. But using normal tampons is safer than putting tissues up there. Using tissues as a pad is okay though.

amother

Lime

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:44 am

For anyone interest in cloth pads this is a fantastic company, they aren’t cheap but these are one of the best.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/HomesteadEmporium

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:01 am

Thank you for taking the time to answer. I definitely have some homework to do.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:01 am

I preferred tampons as a kid.
For school I'd wear a pad and a tampon so I could just take out the tampon halfway through the day and never had to bring anything to the bathroom.

(In hindsight... the school really should provide these things, it would have made things so much less stressful if there were pads sitting in the bathroom available... I wonder why they don't)

But @op I think if your daughter is anything like I was as a preteen, you might be better off giving her some space. Maybe wait a month or two before bringing up the topic again. That way maybe some of that stubbornness will fade. And also maybe she'll come to terms somewhat with her new monthly situation.

amother

Lightblue

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:13 am

Have similar issue....a 4th grader who is very very developed has almost full breasts and they are quite large and she forgets to wear a bra...some days ill find her not wearing one she simply forgets. shes just so little emotionally. Shes 9.
Too young to need a bra but she cant walk around without one ! When I tell her to go put one on she says whatever its fine I dont need it!

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:43 am

Mine is not a tween anymore, but was super uncomfortable with the whole thing when it started. She was so squeamish and refused to talk about it. Eventually I just bought her a few different options and left them for her to try out. She found that she liked these
Pinkie Period Pads for Tweens & Teens - Designed for Smaller Underwear - Organic Cotton Topsheet Teen Pads with Wings - Chlorine Free - Teen Small, 18 Count https://a.co/d/3vrNSyj
I'm also happy that they supposedly contain fewer chemicals.
She does also wear the period panties for lighter flow days.

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:44 am

Introduce her to the slimmest available tampons.

amother

Lightblue

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:47 am

Omg I would not do tampons for a 4th grader !

amother

Almond

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:51 am

smss wrote:

I'm just picturing how it would work for a 4th grader to be dealing with pads at school. They don't have lockers... is she supposed to take one out of her backpack in front of everybody?

I thought the period panties can be worn on their own without leaking? Does she maybe need a different level of absorption?

She can put it in between her unferwear/ tights in the morning at home- that is what I always did.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 9:18 am

amother Lightblue wrote:

Omg I would not do tampons for a 4th grader !

They're reasonably safe as long as she can handle them. Old enough to menstruate is old enough to choose a type of hygiene product.

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