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amother
Burntblack
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 Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:27 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Everyone says yichus doesn't count but then all they do is count it.
I'm from a plain Jane family. My mom always said "We make our own yichus" lol
Anyone else feeling this way? |
Look at it from the reverse. If someone had grandparents that were not good people, we then run with that it doesn't reflect on their descendants and that they should be judged by their own actions.
So the same school of thought applies here - it doesn't really matter how illustrious your grandparents were. What matters is the persons own actions. Yichus atzmoi ranks much higher than any other yichus.
If someone takes different approaches for the two above scenarios, then that is hypocritical imo. You can't talk out of both sides of your mouth.
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Comptroller
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:48 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | Look at it from the reverse. If someone had grandparents that were not good people, we then run with that it doesn't reflect on their descendants and that they should be judged by their own actions.
So the same school of thought applies here - it doesn't really matter how illustrious your grandparents were. What matters is the persons own actions. Yichus atzmoi ranks much higher than any other yichus.
If someone takes different approaches for the two above scenarios, then that is hypocritical imo. You can't talk out of both sides of your mouth. |
Actually, a few names proudly cited on the other thread [specific names removed -mod] have mostly a negative consonance for me. I heard of the famous negative examples from those families in the last few years, and never heard before that those were "great families". Goes to show you how quickly such a name can be destroyed.
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safetynet1
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:54 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | | Tell us more about this. I mean, if you think it's important here to stress that your family is prestigious AND dysfunctional, why don't you go all the way and publish it? |
Why would should she post about the dysfunction in her family?
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amother
Teal
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:55 pm
I was once watching videos of people getting a Bracha from the Lubavitcher Rebbe. One of the men approached the Rebbe and said I'm a descendant of (insert big name yichus) and the Rebbe immediately and very kindly responded "and you are also a descendant of Sara, Rivka, Rochel and Leah".
I agree with you re that thread - it's a bit strange. I happen to have lots of Yichus in my family but I think the only people who would care to hear this are my kids.
Who cares? We're all neshamos.
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Comptroller
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:58 pm
| safetynet1 wrote: | | Why would should she post about the dysfunction in her family? |
She already did post about dysfunction in her family. So rather than just making allusions, she could go all the way and tell us what the matter is.
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amother
Wheat
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:23 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | | She already did post about dysfunction in her family. So rather than just making allusions, she could go all the way and tell us what the matter is. |
You’re weird lol. You want me to publicly shame my family? Why?
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amother
DarkRed
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:28 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | | She already did post about dysfunction in her family. So rather than just making allusions, she could go all the way and tell us what the matter is. |
But why?
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Comptroller
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:35 pm
| amother Wheat wrote: | | You’re weird lol. You want me to publicly shame my family? Why? |
I want to draw your attention to your own contradictions.
On the one hand, you feel the need to communicate that your prestigious family is dysfunctional.
On the other hand, you only dare do this under the cover of anonymity. And now you are telling me that you would never wash dirty laundry in public.
See how contradictory that is? Or an example of dysfunction?
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amother
DarkRed
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:39 pm
I don’t see the problem with what she’s doing.
She’s letting people know that prestigious families can have dysfunction. Why’s it necessary for posters to know the details?
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zaq
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:46 pm
Is saying "yichus doesn't matter to me" like saying "money doesn't matter to me"--in that the only people to whom it doesn't matter are those who have it in spades, and if you have none, it matters to you very much, indeed?
Come to think of it, you could probably say the same thing about looks, talent, and just about every other quality that people may have except character, brains and health. Would you want to have anything to do with a person who said "Character doesn't matter to me" or "Health doesn't matter to me"?
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amother
Whitesmoke
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:47 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | I want to draw your attention to your own contradictions.
On the one hand, you feel the need to communicate that your prestigious family is dysfunctional.
On the other hand, you only dare do this under the cover of anonymity. And now you are telling me that you would never wash dirty laundry in public.
See how contradictory that is? Or an example of dysfunction? |
I'll be honest - I don't.
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Comptroller
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 3:58 pm
Do you happen to be "Honeydew" from the other thread?
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amother
Wheat
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:16 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | I want to draw your attention to your own contradictions.
On the one hand, you feel the need to communicate that your prestigious family is dysfunctional.
On the other hand, you only dare do this under the cover of anonymity. And now you are telling me that you would never wash dirty laundry in public.
See how contradictory that is? Or an example of dysfunction? |
No I don’t and neither does anyone else on this thread. I really don’t follow your logic.
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amother
White
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:26 pm
This was so beautiful. I think everyone on this thread must watch it.
To me it’s the essence of Chabad, but don’t worry non-Chabad imas. I have no connection to Chabad, not through schools, family or anything like that except for the fact that I’m a not so secret admirer.
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Reality
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:31 pm
| Comptroller wrote: | I want to draw your attention to your own contradictions.
On the one hand, you feel the need to communicate that your prestigious family is dysfunctional.
On the other hand, you only dare do this under the cover of anonymity. And now you are telling me that you would never wash dirty laundry in public.
See how contradictory that is? Or an example of dysfunction? |
That amother doesn’t need to share an iota more information then she wants. You pressuring her is extremely aggressive!
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amother
Maple
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 4:45 pm
I come from a lot of yichus, and I don't like talking about it.
I'm chassidish, and when I was in shidduchim, my resume consisted of two whole paragraphs listing all the rebbes and dynasties I'm descended from (plus a couple of references). It was the most degrading piece of paper associated with me, that all I amount to in terms of finding a life partner is who my great great grandparents are.
I think the idea of being into yichus started as a nice concept, look who you have to live up to, carry on the legacy, etc, but it has to be tempered with individualism and caring about who you are more than who your ancestors are.
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amother
Wheat
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 5:13 pm
| Reality wrote: | | That amother doesn’t need to share an iota more information then she wants. You pressuring her is extremely aggressive! |
I don’t know what she wants me to do I’m just cracking up. Does she expect me to name and shame my family on the WWW?
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 6:03 pm
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They are coping the European kings....marrying cousin after cousin
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amother
DarkRed
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 6:09 pm
| amother Mauve wrote: | | They are coping the European kings....marrying cousin after cousin |
Maybe the kings copy the yachsanim
Truth is it’s the same logic- if it’s good keep it in the family if it’s bad why let anyone know
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amother
Burntblack
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Thu, Apr 11 2024, 6:12 pm
| zaq wrote: | Is saying "yichus doesn't matter to me" like saying "money doesn't matter to me"--in that the only people to whom it doesn't matter are those who have it in spades, and if you have none, it matters to you very much, indeed?
Come to think of it, you could probably say the same thing about looks, talent, and just about every other quality that people may have except character, brains and health. Would you want to have anything to do with a person who said "Character doesn't matter to me" or "Health doesn't matter to me"? |
Definitely not a comparison. Money, looks, talent, brain, health etc have a direct impact on my daily life. Who my grandparents were have no impact at all.
I seriously don't see any value in yichus.
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