Yichus thread making me feel less than

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Comptroller

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:01 am

amother Seablue wrote:

Comptroller, would you post links to sites where you can find such info? I tried doing some research but couldn't find anything. Maybe it's just that I'm not tech savvy enough. But it would be fascinating to find things.

Depends where your ancestors are from.

I found a lot in "Jewish record index" for Poland
https://www.jri-poland.org/

Then I say, in case of deportations, that there are more and more datatbases available, in the different holoucaust museums, yad vashem, Auschwitz museum, etc.

Yad vashem: https://collections.yadvashem.org/en/names
Prisoners in Auschwitz: https://www.auschwitz.org/en/m.....ners/
US Holocaust memorial database: https://www.ushmm.org/remember.....names

Then different countries or cities publish the lists of deportees, for example Austria:
https://www.doew.at/english

and then there is geni, a general genealogy website, where people enter the information they have, plus they have few professionals who fill in informations from archives all around the world (like passenger lists from ships that came to the USA or census data, city or community archives). On those sites, you find more and more with time, because more and more people fill in the information they have. For example, I knew of a genealogical tree my grandfather had, but it was not in my possession, and I found all the information about this tree on geni, filled in by either a distant cousin of mine or by one of the professionals.
https://www.geni.com/

ETA: and there are the "yizchor books" of the different communities, more and more of those are available online too. On the one hand, you can learn about the life in a certain community in general, on the other hand you might find contacts who could help you. That's mainly for the small towns.

Last edited by Comptroller on Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:06 am; edited 1 time in total

Ema of 5

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Everyone says yichus doesn't count but then all they do is count it.

I'm from a plain Jane family. My mom always said "We make our own yichus" lol

Anyone else feeling this way?

I don’t feel like a no one just because I’m not related to anyone famous. I agree with your mom.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:11 am

It’s clearly a personality thing because I have plenty of Yichus but zero interest in any of it. Like to the point where I feel guilty because maybe I don’t value tzadikim enough? Idk.

I am not a people person. I don’t play Jewish geography and I don’t even know all of my first cousins.

I’m an introvert and these things confuse and overwhelm me. I often feel like I don’t belong because I can’t play the game.

I guess there are lots of ways to feel less than.

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:15 am

Many ppl wld be surprised if they sent in their dna sample. There were affairs hundreds of years ago - African American, Asian blood etc is in some of us…

Reality

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:33 am

Please don't feel bad if you don't have any yichus. Gwyneth Paltrow has fantastic yichus. So what?

Another mom

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:52 am

amother Steel wrote:

Never liked the whole yichus thing, it’s like SO WHAT!!!!! I much prefer the concept of seeing each person for who they are, with their unique personality, quirks and middos, couldn’t care less who their great great grandfather nine times removed is!

I posted this on the original thread. Very good ideas here!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX6VmluoU_o

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 11:04 am

In all fairness, I live in a community that is not really concerned with yichus, but if someone were to talk about theirs or ask about it, my thoughts would really be OK great, but what have you done.

realsilver

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 11:40 am

Reality wrote:

Please don't feel bad if you don't have any yichus. Gwyneth Paltrow has fantastic yichus. So what?

what kind of yichus??

Debbie

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:29 pm

My belief is that what's important is how a person conducts themselves; your great, great grandfather may have been a great Rabbi, or your dearly departed 18th cousin 9 times removed may have been a most amazing tzadakes, but these wonderful traits are not actually hereditary.
We all have to do our bit to be great in our own rights...or in my case just a regular good frum woman.

readreread

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:30 pm

I have no yichus of note either. All my ancestors are booksellers, tailors, farmers.... No scholars. I anecdotally feel like this is pretty common among yekkes but don't know, I'm MO so no one talks about it much.

Reality

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:44 pm

realsilver wrote:

what kind of yichus??

This is a clip from a finding your roots show:

https://youtu.be/IpLUnv40RF8?s.....stF_Y

An article about the episode:

https://www.ynetnews.com/artic......html

P.S. She is not Jewish because only her father is Jewish

Last edited by Reality on Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wheat

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

Everyone says yichus doesn't count but then all they do is count it.

I'm from a plain Jane family. My mom always said "We make our own yichus" lol

Anyone else feeling this way?

I posted on that thread
What I didn’t post is that I come from a long line of (prestigious) dysfunctional, mental illness, personality disorders, trauma and abuse. I’d take a plain Jane healthy family any day.

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:39 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

Tell us more about this. I mean, if you think it's important here to stress that your family is prestigious AND dysfunctional, why don't you go all the way and publish it?

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:41 pm

Comptroller wrote:

Tell us more about this. I mean, if you think it's important here to stress that your family is prestigious AND dysfunctional, why don't you go all the way and publish it?

Can you explain what you mean?

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:43 pm

What I found in my research is that the average jewish life in Poland in the 19th century was rather depressing because of high child mortality.

I was going through birth and death records, and there were so many children who died young, at 1 day, 3 months, 1 years. On average, a mother lost about 20-30% of her children in infancy. There was even one family that had 10 children and only one survived.

So I imagined that the average jewish family in Tarnov (that was the city I checked out) lived in abject poverty, tight living quarters, not always enough food, and many infectious diseases that killed children.

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:57 pm

Trademark wrote:

Thanks for correcting my mistake.

Even among thousand ancestors I'm sure everyone can find at least one name. Especially when you narrow down even more between between Ashkenazi, yemenite, etc

At the end of the day we are all descendants of the avos and imahos.

I agree with you on that one.

Actually, an English genealogist observed that almost every English family could retrace their origins to a medival King, and with mathematical modelling, he came to the conclusion, that of people who lived 1000 years ago, 20% don't have any descendends at all today, and the other 80% are ancestors of all of us. In theory. Practically speaking, I think there are pockets in far-fledged islands or valleys that don't have that many descendends... maybe I don't have any ancestor from the Comores who lived 1000 years ago, because those islands were to far away...

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:01 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

Can you explain what you mean?

I don't understand why Wheat limits herself to making allusions rather than telling the whole story...
If it's important for her to stress that her prestigious family is badly dysfunctional, I don't understand why she feels all the same that she has to keep the secret.

amother wheat wrote:

Quote:

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:02 pm

Why not. That’s what the thread was about. Family connections.

amother

Bottlebrush

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:25 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Many ppl wld be surprised if they sent in their dna sample. There were affairs hundreds of years ago - African American, Asian blood etc is in some of us…

Actually what’s pretty cool is that all the people I know (myself included) who took dna tests got results that were like 99.8% ashkenazi Jewish (in comparison to my non Jewish friend whose results were 60% one thing, 10% another, 10% another…)

There’s actually very little dna variance amongst the ashkenazi Jewish population which is one of the reasons they like to do medical studies on them.

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 2:26 pm

amother Eggplant wrote:

Many ppl wld be surprised if they sent in their dna sample. There were affairs hundreds of years ago - African American, Asian blood etc is in some of us…

And?

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