Biting me while nursing on purpose!

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:31 pm

DS is a young toddler (just under 1 y.o.) and loves to do whatever he knows I don't want him to do. Now that he knows I don't want him to bite me while nursing, he does it every time! And stopping doesn't work, because he waits till the end and then chomps! Then he doesn't care if I stop. Is there anything to do???

amother

Moonstone

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:36 pm

Just remember that it’s not malicious, he’s exploring the world and likely your reaction too

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:38 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

I would stop nursing

You mean for a few minutes or for good?

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:39 pm

amother Moonstone wrote:

Just remember that it’s not malicious, he’s exploring the world and likely your reaction too

It makes me so mad though, it's the one thing I can't stand!

lilytee

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:42 pm

He is enjoying your reaction. I would without reacting with more than a neutral ‘I can’t let you do that, that hurts’ comment, put him down every time. It’ll only take a few times until he stops.

Also please read Janet Lansbury book and blog to understand why he is acting this way and how to avoid it.

Good luck.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

You mean for a few minutes or for good?

For good. He is one. He can get his nutrition elsewhere.

lilytee

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:55 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

For good. He is one. He can get his nutrition elsewhere.

That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:57 pm

lilytee wrote:

Thank you for the recommendation! I'm looking into it.

It's sooo hard not to react though. I tried to do exactly that, but I just can't seem to hold back my reaction when I get hurt.

lilytee

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for the recommendation! I'm looking into it.

It's sooo hard not to react though. I tried to do exactly that, but I just can't seem to hold back my reaction when I get hurt.

It definitely takes practice, But it is a grateful to have in your arsenal!

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:00 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

For good. He is one. He can get his nutrition elsewhere.

In the moment when I get angry, I feel like doing this, but I don't think I really will. I really do want to continue nursing. Even if I wanted to stop, I wouldn't even know how (he's my first). Would you just stop cold turkey?

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:01 pm

lilytee wrote:

That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional.

I feel so guilty because I do disconnect emotionally when he does it, I just can't deal with him in the moment. Crying

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:03 pm

lilytee wrote:

That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional.

She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit?

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've stopped cold turkey. It hurts for a few days no big deal. If you are resentful from nursing I don't see why you feel bad stopping he is already one.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:04 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit?

How do I stop though? I'm trying to night wean and can't even figure that out.

lilytee

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel so guilty because I do disconnect emotionally when he does it, I just can't deal with him in the moment. Crying

Disconnecting in the moment is not the same as disconnecting for good.

lilytee

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:08 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit?

She doesn’t. There are ways to stop the behavior without stopping cold turkey.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

How do I stop though? I'm trying to night wean and can't even figure that out.

Just stop. Give him a bottle or sippy cup instead. Or have your dh give it to him.

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:09 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

I've stopped cold turkey. It hurts for a few days no big deal. If you are resentful from nursing I don't see why you feel bad stopping he is already one.

I feel bad because he relies on it so much for comfort. He won't take a pacifier or bottle. I put him to sleep nursing most of the time. I'm trying to drop a feeding at night and keep caving and nursing him anyway. It's hard enough to drop one feeding let alone stop entirely Confused

amother

Silver

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:10 pm

I'm careful not to react--that's exactly what gets them to bite again and again. I squirm, but silently. Also, I pinch my baby's nose to get her to open her mouth to breathe. This also serves as a little consequence. She doesn't love when I pinch her nose so she stops.