PSA regarding pesach help

amother

Fri, Apr 05 2024, 3:42 pm

Regardless of the type of job you do ,if you're unemployed, in business or in chinuch or kollel, you're getting exactly what Hashem wants you to get! No more,no less!!!

Wether you're getting a nice check from your boss, a hand-me down from your neighbor, a special pre-yom tov sale or a 2nd store, it was all decided on Rosh hashana.
You're not getting anything less because people around you are getting more!!
They are not more lucky than you are because Hashem has a cheshbon for everyone of us!!!
Including our parnassa, our health and our challenges!!!

Have a happy and easy yom tov season preparations!!! Very Happy

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Since hashem runs the world according to teva, I don't think this is accurate.

Do people become CPA's, accountants, doctors and lawyers so that they can make more money? Yes. But if hashem really designated things to us regardless of effort we put in, then we'd all see that rabbaim, secretaries, kollel men, and barbers, would be the ones supporting yeshivos and living in big houses.

It's very clear that hashem put teva into the world. And that's why those in certain professions have more or less than those in other professions.

And it's the same way with everything. When my old car was giving me problems did I say that hashem wants me to have car problems? No. I had to get a new(er) car and the problems went away.

My husband travels for business. He has a bad back and it hurts for him to sit in coach. Dos hashem want him to have a bad back when he flies? No, he buys business class and his back feels better.

Do you really think that if the doctor who makes a million dollars a year quit his job to learn in kollel that hashem would have money rain from the sky and he'd still earn a million dollars a year? I'm sure big doctors have retired and their income went down EXACTLY when they retired.

amother

Tan

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:23 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

A person can do their hishtadlus but it’s still all up to Hashem

Someone can have gone into a certain field and made millions a year, and then something happens from out of nowhere and now they are broke with massive financial burdens ahead of them

Hashem is in charge, and it helps to remember that it’s all for the best even if we don’t see how

amother

Eggshell

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:29 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

You have to do your hishtadlus. But the point is that no one can take something that Hashem designated for you, so someone else having something doesn't make you get less.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 9:32 pm

amother Tan wrote:

Hashem is in charge.

Hashem runs the world according to teva. That's why doctors make more than kollel yungerlite.

That's why the mechanic is full of older cars with more milage. Why doesn't hashem give people with brand new cars the same car issues? Teva.

That's why when I bought a new vacuum cleaner this week, I bought one that's a little more expensive from a better company. Why don't I just buy the cheapest vacuum cleaner and if hashem wants it to last 20 years then it will? Because since there's teva, hashem made it so that people who buy better vacuum cleaners have less vacuum cleaner problems.

amother

Violet

Sat, Apr 06 2024, 10:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Let me guess, you’re not struggling.

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 12:23 am

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Part of Hashems plan is that some people have an interest and drive to become doctors, lawyers or CPAs... and some people don't have talents beyond stocking grocery shelves. Hashem created a world of givers and takers, and this is the original plan...

Surprisingly, I know plenty of people in kollel who are living very well, and plenty of people with seemingly high incomes sho are simply not managing...

Yes it's all from Hashem. (Which doesn't absolve us from doing our hishtadlus).

seeker

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 12:23 am

You're right, but I still think some analysis of the way things work is helpful. Maybe it can result in the givers and organizers (also givers, as they give their time and energy) to do what they do in a better way. I think it also helps us understand each other better, and perhaps reframe our own experiences. Of course that's a best case scenario that often doesn't happen, I'm just saying that the fact that it's all from Hashem doesn't preclude discussing the way He brings it about. It also doesn't preclude feeling pain over the lot He has given us and seeking validation and company for it. Accepting challenges with grace and positivity without needing any venting or validation at all is a level that not many people are at.

amother

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 7:49 am

seeker wrote:

Regarding the bolded, true but can we at least try to aim for that? Wink

Venting that you're in a bad situation is one thing.
Venting that your neighbors are getting all the help that you should be getting is another.
My point was not that life isn't hard, my point was that you're getting exactly what you're supposed to and nobody is taking away what you rightfully deserve!!!

ShishKabob

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 7:52 am

amother OP wrote:

Regarding the bolded, true but can we at least try to aim for that? Wink

This, very true.

Also, while some of us have that positive outlook and the right hashkafah, many don't.
We have to be cognizant of the fact that for some people it's harder not to be jealous and we can't judge them for that. We can just daven that Hashem should provide for all of his children bderech kavod.

amother

Snowdrop

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 8:02 am

The inyan of hishtadlus vs bitachon is a huge concept that people spend months learning in depth, its not something that should be just flippantly explained over imamother honestly. From what I've learned the more within the realm of teva you exist the more teva you live with- I.e. your low paying job will continue to be low paying etc. However there is a concept of those who live on a higher plain of bitachon and receive a greater amount of divine assistance accordingly. So its not so simple to say teva is teva and thats it. You don't know whats in people's bank accounts the rebbi's and kollel guys aren't broadcasting what they have or don't have but I know I wanted to marry someone who would learn in kollel but was not coming from a home interested in supporting that lifestyle and Hashem more than worked it out for me. There are plenty of stories like that around, we just don't hear about them.

ShishKabob

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 8:07 am

amother Snowdrop wrote:

This, very well explained.
Imamother is really not the place for this. It took me a very long while to realize this.
When someone works on their self improvement and learns seforim, you can't relay all of that in some posts on a thread. The majority of the people have no clue what you are talking about and they think you live in la la land, while the opposite is true. People that work on their emunah and bitachon really do live in an alternate universe that is not aligned with the same world that most people on the planet earth live in.

Thank you for taking the time to elaborate on it. I really appreciate it. (one last thing, teva is really a neis also, it's just cloaked in a way that makes it appear that it isn't)

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 8:39 am

amother Snowdrop wrote:

But this isn't so. Otherwise as a group kollel families wouldn't be struggling any more than doctors and lawyer families.

I live in an area where there's lots of modern families as well as lots of very frum families with less professional jobs. The modern schools are bursting with wealth because the professional parents can afford massive tuition.

There's a thread on this site about the more yeshivish school that might have to close because they can't afford to pay their teachers since they have to many families the can't afford tuition.