PSA: please show appreciation

amother

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:05 pm

If you ask on a thread for others to post links for specific items, or if you just say "links please", and people take the time to find & post links for you, please have the courtesy to recognize & thank the poster that took the time to make shopping easier for you.
I find it very off putting when someone requests links, people take the time to post links, and the poster doesn't show recognition or appreciation.

amother

Stoneblue

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:18 pm

If it helps, I recently posted something asking for links but I forgot what I named my thread and couldn’t find it. If you posted stuff, thank you! I just can’t find my thread anywhere nor, obviously, potential links I was sent

amother

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:33 pm

chestnut wrote:

Maybe they "like" it in appreciation?

Sorry, but that's not appreciation.
Imamother is not google, there are actual women taking the time to help. If one has time to post asking for links & bumping the thread reminding others to send links, they should take a minute to show recognition.

singleagain

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

This bothers me. When I've posted a link. And they "bump, any more?" Without a "thanks bit it's not quite what I'm after" or anything

amother

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:54 pm

singleagain wrote:

This bothers me. When I've posted a link. And they "bump, any more?" Without a "thanks bit it's not quite what I'm after" or anything

Exactly.
We need to realize that behind every link, there's a woman that took the time & effort to post it.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 10:55 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

That’s the easy way out. If you took the time to ask for help take the time to thank those that helped you.

I’ve spent a lot of time helping people on this site and I’m totally fine with a thumbs up as thanks. It shows me that someone appreciated my post. Same as if they had written a thank you.

amother

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:28 pm

amother Babyblue wrote:

I’ve spent a lot of time helping people on this site and I’m totally fine with a thumbs up as thanks. It shows me that someone appreciated my post. Same as if they had written a thank you.

To me, that's not appreciation.
If they're not lazy to ask for help, they shouldn't be lazy to show appreciation.

DrMom

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:51 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

If you posted under your username, you can search "My posts" and find it.

You can also bookmark a thread and get email alerts when somebody responds.

amother

Nemesia

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:54 pm

Someone had posted they needed something I had. I replied that they were welcome to it and to give me a couple of days to gather it together. They gave me a day they would pick it up. I took time to pull together what they asked for and then spent a very busy day repeatedly checking email in case they pm’d on imamother. Basically they ghosted me and didn’t even respond till a couple of days after to say “sorry it didn’t work out.” I’m trying to be dan l’kaf zechus but it’s a challenge. I don’t see appreciation or remorse in their behavior.

salt

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:51 am

amother Stoneblue wrote:

You must have not needed the advice all that urgently then, otherwise you'd have gone back to check often if you have any responses.

Think twice before posting a question that you don't really need an answer to.
People take time to help you out.

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:06 am

amother OP wrote:

I agree. This is one of my pet peeves: investing time in a well thought-out answer and either no reaction at all from OP or a reaction telling you that your answer is of no use to them.

I find it particularly irritating in the diet & receipes section, where people ask for the most impossible things, along the lines: how do I bake a cake without flour, sugar, eggs, nuts, fat. And then you give a receipe, containing none of the above, but ingredient A, and you get the answer: Oh, I forgot to mention that it could not have ingredient A either. Those are really people who are out there to irritate others.

And the other pet peeve is the way people ask their questions, along the lines "links please", so that it sounds like an order. That makes me think that those OPs feel very entitled.

Last edited by Comptroller on Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:09 am; edited 1 time in total

Elfrida

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:07 am

singleagain wrote:

This bothers me. When I've posted a link. And they "bump, any more?" Without a "thanks bit it's not quite what I'm after" or anything

Yes. I remember one woman asked for links to a very specific item, brand name, size, colour. I spent a while looking, and posted a link. Someone else did the same, and posted the same link.

The poster just replied, 'keep them coming'. I was disgusted.

Comptroller

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:16 am

amother Stoneblue wrote:

See? that's one of the downsides of anonymous posting.

At least, in such a case, you should set a bookmark.

amother

Quince

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:32 am

Of course people should show appreciation but it's important to lower our expectation level it just causes disappointment. I really like helping people and I think we all do yet at the same time I won't waste my time answering questions people can easily google the answers to.

DreamerForever

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 4:30 am

100%!! I've been wanting to say this for ages. It really bothers me and stops me from searching the next time. Not because I'm a baby, but because I feel maybe no one even clicked on the links at all, so why bother?

IRL it's similar to when you send a gift to someone, or even a store bought cake to a new neighbour, and you get no response. I think the thank you needs to come even just as acknowledgement that the person received the item, and it didn't somehow go astray.

For those who say a like is enough... SO often, it doesn't even get a simple 'like'. That's been my experience many times.

singleagain

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 5:20 am

rgr wrote:

I just wonder if the people posting link threads set up affiliate links to get some kickback.

How else would you have so much time and patience to list so many links

Sometimes I've been searching for similar items so I just go back and pick a few that I looked at.