If you receive tzedoka money...

amother

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 4:20 pm

...how do you decide what to use it on?
I received matanot levyonim on Purim as I'm in a difficult situation. I don't really feel I NEED it right now, I'm not making pesach.
Could I use some of that money to buy myself new clothes for yomtov? Jewellery? Nothing very expensive, but I wasn't going to get myself anything at all.
Or should I be keeping it for when we really need it, to pay off the school fees we owe, to buy yomtov treats or an afikoman present for the kids?
If you are a giver of tzedoka, what do you think/expect the money to go on?

amother

DarkViolet

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 4:29 pm

I would think whoever is receiving the money knows what they need most. I guess I would think it should cover YT expenses but clothes for yourself or a present for your kids really is a YT expense.

If you wanted it to pay fees or debt wouldn't bother me either.

I don't think hard when I give.

amother

Chambray

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 5:22 pm

To nesseclties like heating and water and food.

Jewllery would be last honestly. (Obviously not talking about gold and diamonds but sure, if you get the money and have enough for the basics, treat yourself to a pair of costume earrings.)

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 8:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you owe school fees, I would start with that.
But since I dont know you or your circumstances, its isnt for me to say.
You may want to ask your Rav and not crowd- source this.

amother

DarkPurple

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 8:44 pm

Once tzedaka money is yours, it’s yours to decide what to do with it.
As a giver I’d hope the person would choose to use it wisely ie pay for bills, debt etc.
as a receiver, I knew I had bills and that we weren’t making it to the end of the month , but sometimes it was so nice to have a bit of extra cash in my hand and to be able to buy my children a toy for yt or splurge on something for myself ( I’m not talking extravagant- maybe a nail polish or makeup if I needed, something I otherwise wouldn’t have bought but could be used as a real pick me up)
Sometimes I’d put some money on the side to buy meat for yt or for a chol hamoed outing.
Only you know how to best use the money.

Librarian

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:17 pm

Buy yourself something nice to wear. Rest use for school fees and on treats/afikomen or chol Hamed trip for the kids. Anything left save.

amother

Feverfew

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:31 pm

Mine went to last months mortgage which I feel so grateful to have been able to catch up on. I hope the intention wasn’t for it to go for pesach, I am not even up to there financially right now.

amother

Tulip

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:48 pm

What’s important to have. If you don’t have any decent clothes jewelry then spend on that. But if you do and know that you will be stuck on chol hamoed/afikomin then wait and use it for that.
It’s a personal decision and you need to be honest with yourself how that money can be used best.

ShishKabob

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:57 pm

We don't know how much money we are talking about.
That's what makes this question so hard to answer.

I would assume use it for yom tov expenses and a nice gift for yourself (clothing, accessories etc. )gets included with that.

amother

Rainbow

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:08 pm

If you got Purim money, you can get anything.
If it was Matanas leavyonim that money we are obligated to give to a poor person so they have enough money to buy food for Yom tov meal.

Make sure to use it for something important like food on peseach, bills so that you are not tight again. The giver chose to help you as you said that you in need right now. They allow you to use it as you choose, but the purchase will make them decide if they should give you again in the future.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:21 pm

Only you know if your kids need treats more or less than their mother needs a treat. If you're going through a lot, that might be the most important thing for your family right now.

As a child, I would rather a cheerful mother on Pesach then a nice present or treats.

Not weighing in on school fees or debt or anything, you ask specifically about afikomen vs clothing for you.

amother

Hosta

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:48 pm

Clothing.
Shoes.
Food
Household help
Maybe books
Disposables
Honestly jewelry may get on my nerves
*** one tzadik gave my husband money specifically for buying something for the wife
Forever indebted

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:11 am

Actual needs only.
Food (basic), rent, health insurance and health related costs, and basic clothing. I can use a new pair of shoes as mine is worn out and I need for work. One son needs pants as he grew. Socks and tights without holes.

Necessities. If you bought jewelry that wouldn't be good use for tzeddakah. That is a pure extra. Speaking as someone who hasn't bought jewelry other than a cheap Walmart watch since marriage.

I spend on bills for necessities.

mamalooo

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 6:30 am

I would say anything that is a need not a want. And that is something only you can answer! for certain people at times things that seem extra/wants to some ppl can be a need for another
don't forget it is a mitzvah to give tzedaka to a person on the level they are used to which means if typically you get jewelry or something nice for yt then I think it would be considered a need.
Whatever is a need Hashem will send you the money for so don't worry about how you are going to pay other expenses

amother

Lemon

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 7:46 am

amother Rainbow wrote:

I agree with the beginning of your message.
I do not agree with the bolded.
I better hope giver will not find out what she's using it for. Confused

amother

Holly

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:44 am

I'll tell you what we used it on....
last year we put it straight to building fees (we rent but those are on the renter here)
this year we put some of it to preschool fees (didn't cover it all)
some of it we passed on that same day when we were asked to donate, we gave from that, we gave a nice amount and it didn't hurt our bank account (we usually give postdated checks but our checkbook is nowhere to be found and we didn't want to turn them away emptyhanded)
groceries and more groceries
bus fare/ transportation costs for an appointment
there is 200 left which will either go to building fees or to a monthly bus pass