Where is it all going?

amother

Peru

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:09 pm

I have a friend who has lived in Israel for over 30 years. She told me many years ago that if you add up income and subtract expenses-it didn't budget out well at all. But somehow at the end of the month, the bills were all paid. Hashem takes care.
I've heard this from another couple who also live in yerushalayim.
So turn to HKBH, not us imamothers. HE will help you figure it out and balance your budget.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:50 pm

I lived in EY a decade ago with full support. We lived very frugally and saved up !money for a down payment when we moved to America.

I know it was a decade ago, but we lived with three kids in a 2 bedroom old but semi spacious (70sqm) apartment for $1000/month. (Before our third was born we were in a teeny1 bedroom.)

First few years married rarely took buses, let alone taxis. There were years where I didn't take a taxi from pesach to pesach (aka airport trip to airport trip). After a few years, we took buses a little more frequently
(We lived in sanhedria and I'd walk to iriyah to pay arnona, walk to misrad hapnim for visa, walk to Wolfson for prenatal visits... Like that.)

Shopping-
Did the Mir mechiras
Did the vegetables in the parking lots
Did sales shopping
Chicken was for shabbos
Meat was for.YT.
salmon was rare for YT.
Didn't buy yogurt- used gila and added coffee, sugar, or jam.
Didn't buy shredded cheese- shredded my own.

Special occasion going out to eat was pizza or falafel.

I look back and sometimes we laugh at how crazily frugal we were.... But you know what? Those were good years and I look back fondly.

salt

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:15 am

Didn't read this whole thread so some of this might have been said.

Get rid of your car. You don't need a car in Jerusalem.

Rent out your apartment for shabbos and go and stay with friends or relatives, and then invite them back to you on aonther occasion.

Don't buy in supermarkets, buy from the sales like mishnat yosef.

Work fuller time.

salt

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:26 am

Actually, I reread your op more carefully, so I'll add more.

you say $100 per month on clothes. That is 4400 shekels per year - that is too much.
You and DH don't need new clothes each year (maybe just stockings and underwear).
And for 3 little kids, there is no way you should be spending that much.
Hand your clothes down to the younger kids, swap with friends, use hand-me downs from others.

And you say $200 per week on groceries not including shabbat.
That is 3000 shekels per month.
That is about what we spend per month, and we have 3 teens living at home, plus several guests every shabbat.

You need to cut all of that down.

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:36 am

amother Forsythia wrote:

Buy chicken and meat in the bulk sales and only cheaper cuts of meat (we haven't bought #5 in years).
Buy your kids the 1.5 shekel strawberry lebens, not the 4.5 shekel strawberry yogurt.
Buy the cheap Angel water challah (3 for ten shekel sometimes) and not the fancier challahs.
Bake cake instead of buying.
If you won't drink tap water get one of those noam1 machines that filter it for you instead of buying bottled water.
Don't buy imported American products.
Buy big snack bags and portion it out into sandwich bags instead of buying small snack bags.
I'm trying to figure out how you are spending $100 a month on clothes if you also get hand me downs. What are you buying?

Shabbos expenses are paid back. Please don't cut back a couple of shekel on challah!

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:38 am

theoneandonly wrote:

If DH doesn't want to leave kollel but needs to bring in more money he can:

Start taking the kollel check

Join a paying early morning kollel

Get paid for shmiras hasedarim

Tutor during bein hasedarim or at night

OP still hasn't responded to the post about a kollel check not being tzedaka...

Here is what a salary is at a company:
You do a job and your boss pays you because he derives some benefit from it.

Here is what a salary is at a kollel:
You do a job (learn) and your boss (the kollel) pays you. That money is given because the giver derives some benefit from it (a zchus of your learning)

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:40 am

salt wrote:

As someone who lives in Jerusalem without a car I don't agree with this.
I wish I could afford a car. Shlepping kids on a bus is very very hard (I have to take my mental health and energy into consideration before going) and taking taxis while balancing carseats is too hard to do. So we're stuck home a lot and it's bad for my mental health.
And no carseats are non-negotiable for me so don't try to reason with that

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:52 am

amother Black wrote:

Of course it's *hard* to travel on busses with kids but it's surely possible.

Elfrida

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 5:09 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

OP, I can't for my mind understand why you even settled in an expensive area to begin with.

A young couple, fully supported, with no budgeting experience normally looks to live near their friends without really thinking about expenses. The rent has probably gone up a few times since then, anyway.

Rappel

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 5:26 am

Without the 1500, you'll still have $6000 a month. Meaning 20k shekels, which is a very good income

I think you can reduce your expenses to live comfortably within your means and save a bit on the side as well.

Consult your Israeli friends, not the Americans, and see how to live.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 5:35 am

Shabbos expenses aren't taken from a person's destined income. Let's say they're supposed to make 52,000. So Hashem gives them 60,000 if they spend 8K on Shabbos.
That doesn't mean if someone gets 60K and can't figure out where all the money is going, they don't record the 8K they spent.
It's kind of like double dipping: taking the total money Hashem gave which includes Shabbos expenses (because we live in a world of teva and usually actually pay with money for shabbos food) but also not include it as expenses.

salt

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 5:42 am

Rappel wrote:

Translating her original post to shekels (without the $1500 dollars from inlaws)

Total income 22K shekels = per month.
rent 11K
food 3K NIS
car 1K NIS
playgroup 1K NIS
utitlies 2K NIS
tzedaka 4K NIS

= 22 K NIS - that's their whole income.

At first when OP wrote 3K rent, I read it in shekels.
But 3K dollars - where is rent that expensive??

Rappel

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 5:52 am

salt wrote:

Rent - high
Food - reasonable
Car - unreasonably low, unless OP isnt including repairs.
Playgroup - VERY low. Good for her.
Utilities - high. I have a 120m house and pay about 800. I think it can be reduced
Tsedaka - depends on op and her husband.
Taxes/vaad bayit/clothes/shoes/extras/pesach- ???

Basically, OP's expenses are much higher than their very high income, and they are starting on the road towards tracking them. Great!

OP, There's a beautiful organization called Paamonim which helps people figure out their finances and plan for the future. Maybe call them?

amother

Rose

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:10 am

Hi OP, I probably know who you are and am almost 100% sure where you live Smile

also have 3 kids knH
Good for you on your income- that is a lot for herein EY!!
Everyone is trying to analyze your budget and figure out how to make it work.
It's not easy to hear but very simple- your apartment is a massive portion of your expenses, either you downsize a bit, reevaluate your care, find a new income stream, or reevaluate in some other way.

You can try to cut corners on everything else, but that is all relatively "small" money compared to your rent.

I am paying 1900 for rent becuase my baal dira has been going up slowly and not with the crazy
To be honest, you are living very much like an American in Israel (which is fine, as you are American), but you need to prioritze making the budget over supposed "needs"
Every purchase needs the question- do I value this over some other need.

A big lesson I learned is that whatever you LET yourself get used to, you can get used to.
I moved from a small but renovated apartment into the one I currently live in when I had my second baby.
It is a larger two bedroom, and we were very excited by the size, but getting used to the fact that it is OLD was an adjustment. When we first moved in I could not understand what I was thinking living my old clean apartment for this dustbin;)
At this point, I am so used to what we have, don't wish anything to be different.
If you are OPEN to change, change things up a bit! its an adjustment, but once you do something new, you can get used to it!

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:51 am

Rappel wrote:

Also Mekimi organization (not the clothing chain)

lamplighter

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 6:57 am

When someone has to budget their money because there isn't enough they need to prioritize their spending. The issue here is that everything is a priority. Instead of explaining why you need to be spending this much on each line item, start thinking about what you don't need to spend so much on.

Staying in kollel seems to be top priority.
Paying Chomeish is your second top priority.
Living in your expensive area is your third top priority.

Then you need to cut out/down the car, the food, the cleaning lady, the clothes.
You cannot have it all if you cannot afford it.

Kol hakavod for your husbands learning, being a kollel wife is a sacrifice and for the past few years you hadnt needed to. Now you do. If you aren't willing to sacrifice your spiritual choices then it's time to make sacrifices in gashmius. Remind yourself that you are cutting these things out or working extra hours as contribution to your husbands learning.

Last edited by lamplighter on Thu, Mar 28 2024, 7:20 am; edited 1 time in total