So done. | Imamother

amother

Copper

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 12:58 pm

Please rule out any medical issues besides behavioral. The fact that he seems to be apologetic concerns me that maybe there is an underlying issue that hasn't been diagnosed.
That aside I did have a stubborn guy who never made big in toilet until 4 1/2! He is bh a handsome healthy happy teen with no poop problems. Hold in there. get some mommy time when you feel ready to loose it. Remember this too shall pass!
Big hugs

amother

Snow

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know he tells me like “I’m sorry mommy” and than I’m like how can I be upset him, my husband usually is the very chilled calm one but it’s been getting on his nerves as if late.

One of the classic signs of encopresis is that they can’t control it

amother

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:03 pm

amother Copper wrote:

What other issues do u think?

scintilla

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:04 pm

I'm going to be the dissenting voice here and say rule out something behavioral! The fact that he won't sit after the small accident means that the next accident is no real surprise. It seems like something is holding him back from actually pooping on the toilet. The running off the toilet when you try out him on after the accident is classic fear of pooping in the toilet which is very common in smart kids who aren't trained yet by this age. They didn't get into the habit of it when they were younger and so now they're old enough to have pretty deep rooted fears about it. So then he has to go, tries hold it, a little sneaks out, you change him, of course more is going to sneak out because he hasn't actually gone yet.

What you should do would depend on your specific child but having seen so many children like that in both my classroom and my kids/relatives I'd strongly consider exploring that first.

amother

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:09 pm

scintilla wrote:

So he isn’t the best listener he kind of just does what he wants even though me an my husband are trying to discipline him, he is really great with my baby though, he really watches over him and thinks about him like when he gets a yogurt for himself he’ll also get my baby(he’s one) barely ever was physical with him, he really is a ball of energy that does what he wants.

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:59 pm

myname1 wrote:

It really does sound physical and I think you should tell him that ASAP because it sounds like he feels horrible about it, too! Make sure he knows it's not his fault!

imo don't tell him its not his fault until you actually confirm that its enco or another physical issue. because if its all about disciplining and you tell him its not his fault, you are going 3 giant steps backwards.

BUT definitely check it out by a GI ASAP.

and try to keep your cool always (I KNOW its almost impossible. my kid with enco has taken me for a real ride. but yelling/ anger etc.. is bad for both of you)