Cutoff dates? | Imamother

amother

DarkMagenta

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:05 am

Not every school has them, and they can go in an individual child basis
I have a December son who we held back, but that’s an obvious one
He’s not the oldest in his class by far (he’s in 3rd grade now)
He has boys who’s birthdays are September to November and even one august!

Every child is different, but just be careful that you’re not pushing ahead because of academics, because that’s not nearly as important as social skills

amother

Mintgreen

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:57 am

For boys, December is not considered holding back. Most people are holding back October & November and I know some people choose to even hold back September under certain circumstances. In my school, the evaluate any child born after Sept 1 to make sure they are ready. I think Sept. & Oct are still given the choice and they are hesitant to take a November kid unless you have valid reason to send.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:02 am

I don't think it's that schools have a flexible cutoff as much as it's parents choosing to "hold back" as it is developmentally beneficial to their children. Boys especially, where are extra year means one year later getting up for the minyan bus, one year later starting gemara and mishnayos... Where there is another year of development and maturity before beginning significant milestones making it easier on the child

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:18 am

amother Jade wrote:

But it ends up being a cycle.
I have a September 2 son that we put ahead. (He turned 5 the first week of primary.)
I don't regret it at all but I'm constantly observing the dynamics because he has boys in his class who are a full year older.

My early November son, I would have wanted to put ahead. He was socially and academically ready. But I couldn't do it because he would be in the same class as boys 15 months older than him (July and August).
So I held him back and he's not the oldest. He's around the 5th oldest.

But the cycle ends up continuing because his class is older so the standards become "higher".
It's not even that the Rebbi is challenging them past their capabilities. It's that the children themselves are learning, pushing, asking.
A December kid (13 months younger than my November kid) will likely not be able to keep up socially and academically.

If course I'm stereotyping. But im going with the typical developing child.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:53 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

You didn’t put your kid ahead. You kept him where he belongs.

I hate this trend of holding kids back. If there’s no reason to, they should be in the appropriate class. I have two November children who are the youngest in their classes and are flourishing. I had to fight to get kindergartens to take them but as they got older (they’re now in HS and upper elementary) the teachers could never believe that they were the youngests.

Now I have another November baby but the cutoff was changed so she will be the oldest, entering primary at almost 6, which I think is stupid. She’s ready and doesn’t need another year of playgroup. She’ll be bored. And that means that when the time comes iyH she’ll be almost 19 when she goes to seminary! And we all know what that means for shidduchim LOL

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 11:01 am

amother Maroon wrote:

But it's not really where they belong if it's not their peer group.
If the peer group is from August '16-August '17 pushing a November '17 child in to the class is often not fair and not appropriate, even if the schools official deadline is November '17.
This child is 15 months younger than some of his classmates.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:15 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

That’s my point. This whole system of holding kids back is stupid and doesn’t benefit anyone because the youngest keeps getting older.

amother

Seashell

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:37 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

My kids school divides by birthday. So the kids are all within an 8-9 month range regardless of whether parents decide to hold back.

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:41 pm

Many schools divide by birthday like PP said. My son is January and his classmates are September - January. My daughter is late september. There are girls in her class more than a year older than her. I wish all schools separated by birthday, especially with younger kids. It makes a big difference. Dd started kindergarten when she was still 3 and other girls were already five.