Find me a school!! Urgent!

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:01 pm

I am willing to move. We need a better solution for our 3rd grade daughter than her current school. She has ADHD and social skills deficits but is very bright. Above average reading and math scores, her Kodesh teacher says she is doing very well (but no standardized tests for that).
High functioning, can sit through class as she is on meds for ADHD. (Teacher said she wouldnt have even noticed the ADHD if I didn't tell in advance). Her biggest issue is She misses social cues. Gets bullied in her large class size.

Is there a school out there that caters to this?
What about a small class size school that is big on social skills, maybe has a social worker on staff? She is mainstreamed now but no school where we live will help with social skills, help stop bullying...)

Prefer not coed class as she wouldn't feel comfortable frum wise.

Please help this struggling mom! I can't bear to see her struggle and not have friends due to bullying...
(Yes we are getting her help, that isn't the question. We just want a school that could help her grow and thrive).

Ideal if lower cost of living but not mandatory.

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 9:29 pm

Giraffe wrote:

IVDU worked for us.

Looking at the photos it seems my daughter is much higher functioning. They mention the MAP testing- my daughter had it and ranked in like the 96th percentile. She doesn't struggle with academics now that she started ADHD meds.
But is just socially inept.

What kind of student are they gearing themselves for?

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:16 pm

amother Lightblue wrote:

If she’s neurodivergent, she’ll be taking her problems with her to any school.
Can she get more help in the social skills area?

As I have explained before we are getting her the help. But she is too academically advanced and high functioning for special Ed schools. But has social skills issues.
Her current school is unwilling and unable to help her socially. They won't stop the bullying. And yes it is bullying - would be to anyone but they pick on her as she is "off". But they pick on other kids too. My kid just can't handle it well.
I have witnessed the bullying and it is clearly bullying behavior if done to any kid. But it is even worse when you have a kid who can't pick up on social cues and overreacts.

But bottom line is I would love to find her a new school. And we are willing to move almost anywhere in the USA with a frum school that is emotionally aware and willing to help.

mha3484

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:21 pm

My oldest is a lot like this but a boy and his yeshiva has been awesome. We are in Chicago. I don't have a lot of experience yet in the affiliated bais yaakov (my oldest girl is 4) but everyone I know tells me how well run the school is and I hear very few complaints.

amother

Thu, Dec 21 2023, 11:28 pm

amother Lime wrote:

Either way get her social skills training asap. Most places have some sort of after school classes. A school can limit bullying but you need to help her learn the skills.

For the last time- we are and have been getting her help. We are so on top of this. You wouldn't believe how much we have spent to help her.
Nothing at the school. They are zero help. They won't even follow the guidance of professionals! She has ADHD and social issues come wrapped up with that.

Please!! I want names of schools- not another poster telling me to get her social skills help.
Warm, friendly, smaller class sizes and teachers/admin who are willing to help! Schools that don't freak out when they hear your kid has ADHD especially when so well controlled besides for social side. But she isn't disruptive, participates well in class.

amother

Apple

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 12:57 am

amother OP wrote:

Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas for you, but I just wanted to share that I'm in a similar situation. My daughter is currently in a smaller special ed setting because of her social issues, however, academically she's so far ahead of her classmates (who are also older than her). They do try to individualize skill based learning, but unfortunately, it's not enough for a very bright kid KA"H.

amother

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:00 am

amother Apple wrote:

Thanks. I feel like all the "special" schools are for severely disabled or extreme learning disabilities. Nothing for my kid who has been mainstreamed her whole life, is doing well in class (average to way above average depending on subject) but still has needs the school won't provide for.

amother

Steel

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:32 am

amother OP wrote:

Welcome to the world of twice exceptional kids.
I'm sorry I can't offer you any practical advice about schools but just wanted to send you sympathy and love. It's so very, very difficult. We put in a million times more than other people and just get criticized.

It's impossible. Special ed is way too low functioning. Regular ed leaves them unprovided for. You're right that your best bet is a small regular school who give a lot of help.

amother

Lilac

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 5:29 am

I can’t say enough good things about the Clifton Bais yaakov. ( Passaic/clifton)This is a school that strongly focuses on middos development and has an absolutely no bullying policy. There is one class per grade, the school is small and loving and everyone knows everyone. It feels like a family.
Wishing you lots of hatzlocha

amother

Charcoal

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 6:54 am

There are some speci needs schools that will work with high functioning, academically advanced kids. Since they're smaller, they can group those kids together and appropriately challenge them. A year or two in that setting can allow the child to then confidently go back to mainstream. I wouldn't discount the possibility.

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 7:01 am

If your child has language based learning issues, there is the Shefa School in NYC. It's a pluralistic school, so you have students with peyes and girls who wear pants. The classes are coed. I am aware that they take children who have ADHD and many of them are exceptionally bright. My understanding is that they focus on the whole child--academics and social aspects. May not be for you, but may also be worth checking out.

amother

Apple

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 7:59 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

Which schools do you have in mind? Because my daughter was in a special ed school for a couple of years, we're hoping to be able to mainstream her for the next year, but it's still too early to tell.