My name is Rappel AMA

SuperWify

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 12:28 pm

Rappel wrote:

Why thank you! You're pretty impressive yourself.

My kids, actually, have really stepped up to the plate. There are 4 of them, and the oldest is 7, so y'all can do the math Wink

I expected intense emotional difficulty - my eldest is socially anxious. He completely rose to the occasion, and our conversations have developed from action-based (Imma he hit me!) to understanding-based (Imma, I think he is feeling tired, so I distracted him with a different game instead of fighting. ). He surprised me.

DD expressed her anxiety in the beginning of the war by becoming an instant balabusta. She would also get nervous if Abba came home to visit - if he's not in the field, then who's protecting us?? By now, she's relaxed back into her messy ways, BH, and she and I can laugh and joke when she tries to pull a fast one on me.

The little ones are very little, and need as many hugs and snuggles as possible. It's hardest on them when I go out to do things. In the beginning of the war, I was charged with arranging the medical preparedness for our town should we be besieged: training all the staff in emergency trauma care, making the arrangements for everything for a mass casualty incident... Basically preparing for every nightmare scenario, so no one else needs to imagine it. BH, I'm now easy on that point.

Aw thanks.

I’m in awe of you. I have half the amount of kids under 7 but I can’t manage one day (or hour) without DH. I was in Israel on October 7th so my older one has lottttts of questions.

Every morning-
He- is the war over yet?
Me- not yet. Soon.
He- you said soon yesterday. Ugh. So why can’t mashiach come already? Why is hashem not listening???
Me- I don’t know honey.
He- But you’re a mommy you’re supposed to know everything.Maybe soon I will go to Gaza and kill Hamas with lord Garmedons 3 swords. And I will send them lots of strong rocket-ships. They will get very punished. The Israel army is super strong.
Me- uh huh.

Are you part of the women’s ambulance section? Just heard about it only now.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 12:37 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Hi there. I also think you’re cool! I like the passion in your posts and that you stand behind your opinion instead of hiding under anonymous. Thank you for your DH’s and your service to keep klal yisroel safe.
How do you de-stress (other than coming on imamother)?

Thank you. I appreciate our clear discussions too. I admire honesty over almost any other trait, and it's been a pleasure meeting you.

De-stress: I used to love playing on my guitar, and long, lazy baths with classical music in the background. Neither of those really appeal to me right now. I've only just begun listening to music again at all.

I love gardening, and weeding. I love a quiet hot chocolate with cream. Sometimes I just lie on the rug and chat with my kids; they climb on me, and I get to hear all about their world. Reading is another major de-stressor, and so is gathering information. Massaging my hands and feet with lotion is peaceful.

Overall, I'm very happy, and not stressed. The first week of the war... Well, I accidentally broke every drinking glass in my kitchen. But once I had a clear and useful path in front of me, I think that forged a certain calm within me.

Actually, I think a lot of people are going to suffer from losing their tasks/identity when the war is over. For many people, that's a sort of security blanket - "there's a big problem, and I'm part of the solution." I'm working now to expand the psychological services in our area, because everyone is going to need that chair when we're through. We have the locations and potential staff and programs, but the funding needed is astronomical. I'm leaving that part up to G-d; it's His kids whom need it.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 12:47 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I like his attitude Smile

he sounds like a direct young man. Where were you based on Simchat Torah?

I'm not sure what you mean by the women's ambulance section, but I'm all ears. Smile

it sounds nice.

I do my MDA shifts in the Yarkon region, so we get all kinds of teams, and all kinds of calls. In my town, we're too small for a shift schedule, so I'm on call 24/7...The other volunteers are all drafted now, but during peacetime, we share the work, except for births - they're all men, so I get those. The driver just drives.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 12:58 pm

Queen Of Hearts wrote:

Wow! You must be a very strong capable woman to manage all this! You are a Heroine of klal yisroel! You should be blessed with everything good from Hashem!
Heart

Do you ever have weak moments where it's too much?
Do you have to disassociate yourself when dealing with tragedies?

Absolutely. I call them "tears showers." They're very refreshing.

I go up to the archeological site at the top of Itamar for privacy, and hash things out with G-d. Oooh, it hurts so much sometimes! But at least He's straight with me.

I'm actually a very sensitive woman, and I feel pain for others very intensely. I consider that a strength, and I never want to become callous in my treatment of others.

But when I need to be operational, then I can't just dissolve in tears.

I make every effort to honour the living and the dead, and to be a worthy servant of Hashem in crisis. I say my own tefillah to that effect, on the way to every call/shift.

On Simchat Torah, and the days afterward, everything was too much. I've been avoiding problems that I cannot help - like the hostages - because I know I would melt, and be unable to complete my responsibilities. There's too much riding on me right now for that to happen.

When six months pass, or when the war ends, I'm going to hand off those responsibilities for a time, and open that Pandora's box of feelings. I need to address them. I don't want to be emotionally scarred and unavailable -- but I'm not free to feel completely, not yet.

Meanwhile, my journal is my best friend.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 1:25 pm

Success10 wrote:

How does your family feel about about where your life has taken you?

That a complex question.

My parents weren't thrilled when I made aliyah - quite the opposite. But they're glad I'm happy and healthy, and I think their perspectives on Aliyah in general have shifted with the numbers of their grandchildren Wink

I'm very close to my siblings, and I miss them terribly. It's my dream to live next door to each of them. But I cannot leave, and they haven't come yet - it will probably remain just a dream.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:08 pm

a2z wrote:

Do you ever go anon?
Ditto thinking that you are one awesome lady.

Can I tell you that your user icon makes me chuckle every time I see you post? Smile

I go anon when I share information that's truly private - info I would not share among my friends.

Otherwise, I'm very open here: as long as someone can verify for me that they're not an axe murderer, then I'm happy to give them my number, and meet them in real life.

Success10

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:14 pm

small bean wrote:

I'm also part of your fan club.

What made you make aliyah? It's my husband's dream (always was) and I aways have the best excuses. Honestly had we dated longer, he probably wouldn't of married me when he realized there's no way he'd convince me. At this point half my family lives there, so my excused are just hard for kids to adjust.

You should not be mentioning your resistance to Aliyah to Rappel. Unless you have 5 hours to kill

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:37 pm

small bean wrote:

Rabbi Ze'ev Rudman and I debated whether it's a mitzvah to live in EY.

He won, hands down.

I realized I can't cherry-pick mitzvot if I want to follow Hashem's Torah.

So I moved here. (There were a few more bends in the road, but that's the gist of it.)

chestnut

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:41 pm

Rappel wrote:

Thank you, for living as a Torah Jew every day. That's what we really need.

I was raised in Brooklyn, by BT parents, and received a normative Bais Yaakov education. Normal litvish Brooklyn.

Today, I most closely identify as DL Torani, but we're not really: I take some issue with DL tenets, and though I respect him, I'm not a follower of Rav Kook.

We most closely identify with Rav Mordechai Eliyahu's kav, but we follow the Yalkut Yosef for clear halachic guidance.

Are your parents American born?

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:43 pm

Success10 wrote:

You should not be mentioning your resistance to Aliyah to Rappel. Unless you have 5 hours to kill

Am I that bad? LOL

I really think that each of us have an instinct for our tafkid, and if someone doesn't "hear the call," then aliyah is probably not part of their tafkid right now.

I do have some well-researched opinions on the topics of yishuv haaretz and kibush haaretz, but I try not to bore imamother with the length and breadth of them. You'll have to meet me in real life to really sit down for a chavruta/chabura on the subject.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:47 pm

small bean wrote:

Oh and how can we prove we are not are murderes.

Everytime I set someone up for a date, I worry one of the parties is an axe murdere.

Then you better send both parties with shields! These axe murderers are pernicious party crashers, and will do anything to get a date.

If a senior poster can vouch for the fact that they know you in real life, that's usually good enough for me.

Rappel

Mon, Dec 18 2023, 2:54 pm

naomi2 wrote:

Were you living in itamar during the 2011 massacre?

No. We're here only 5.5 years.

But everyone in my neighborhood was. We bought a house 4 doors down from the Fogels' place.

It's the same layout. We had to modify it to bring it up to code, and DH only slept easy after we changed its shape.

----

The Fogels were the most famous tragedy of Itamar, but by no means the only. There have been 21 people murdered in Itamar, mostly from 2001-2011. That affects a community strongly.

I dream of one day having the ability to interview many of the residents here, and to collate their stories into a book. It would be an epic read.