My dd resists wearing a bra

pacifier

Wed, Aug 09 2006, 3:26 pm

[quote="amother"]There is a very good book . "The wonder of becoming you" by Dr Miriam Grossman, printed by Feldheim.

in the school I was teaching, all 6 th grade girls were required to read this book. they all liked reading it and discussing about it.

as for the bra issue, make sure you find a way to get your daughter to wear one, whatever style and color she wants, as long as it supports her well. Tell her to be proud of beeing a woman, proud of showing that sh's a woman, and to take care of herself, her body...u could even take a few minutes each day for a few exercises to get your chest stronger, more tonic; to make sure that she stands straight,walk straight, feel good about herself...
this is the time when she needs to develop her self confidence, accept herself and appreciate herself.

(this being said its the 1st time I hear about a girl who doesn't like bras)

HelloEverybody

Wed, Aug 09 2006, 3:52 pm

amother wrote:

Tonight, I basically told her that any bra -- even the most comfortable -- will take getting used to.

How to get her to wear it regularly?

I think you step away and this is one of the places where "peer pressure" will eventually come in and show her the way.

proudema

Wed, Aug 09 2006, 4:16 pm

SaraG wrote:

Not to me.

I'm barely an a-cup, any sagging would add to me!

I dont think it matters what cup size you are. If your breasts sag they dont get bigger they just make you look like your breasts are somewhere near your belly button.

Mommy3.5

Wed, Aug 09 2006, 4:58 pm

To the original Amother. I don't think this issue has anything to do with you being a BT, its not a matter of chinuch to wear a bra. I got my first bra when I was in the 6th grade, and I wore a sweatshirt everyday after that, no matter how hot it was until the ninth grade, just so no one would know! I was super sensitive.

I think you should try to get your daughter to tell you what she doesn't like about the bra, and then work around her issues. if its uncomfortable, see if a soft bra that almost like an undershirt is better for her. If she is embarrassed, let her wear something on top of the bra, either an undershirt or a sweatshirt on top.

11 is a very hard age for a girl, and while some of them love the idea of maturing, many want to still stay little!

good luck to you!

amother

Wed, Aug 30 2006, 1:45 am

If it was my dd I'd step away. It's her body and it's not for me to "force" her into wearing proper undergarments. Enen the limited choice of either wearing it from school homecoming until eve or only on Shabos, seems inappropriate to me.

DD will wear one when she's ready. Let her go at her own pace. If her breasts are not being supported it doesn't reflect on you or your parenting. But if you allow her to be in control of her own body that reflects an understanding Mommy.

Good luck to you! My dd turns 12 soon. She is sooooo excited about getting BIG, as I talk about it with much enthusiasm! (Doing the opposite of what my own dm - dear mother - has done to me, made me feel so ashamed and whatnot of my developing body.....Have B"H healed from that!)

I agree 100% with one of the above posters, this has got NOTHING to do with tznius! (It may have something to do with your own body-issues...and it gets lumped under the topic of tznius.....when really it belongs under the topic of psychological issues....)

Take care!