Making it work with a baby at home

amother

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 9:32 pm

I work from home 10-4. My baby is 9 months old and I have not signed him up for a babysitter. Babysitters in Lakewood have become so expensive that I really just can't afford to send him out (needless to say, my salary has not gone up accordingly).
My baby currently takes a 1 hour morning nap and a generally 2 hours afternoon nap. In between, he crawls around the house shrieking with glee while getting into everything. Any ideas for getting my work done as my baby's capabilities and need for entertainment will iyh increase? Also, when I have calls, how can I keep it professional with my baby's noises in the background?

amother

Kiwi

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 9:43 pm

I have been there. As they get older they get more into stuff and it really gets impossible. You will eventually need to eother bring help in or semd him out.

Some suggestions for making it work temporarily:
1. Work at night after bedtime as much as possible if your job allows. If baby wakes up 8-11 its dh responsibilty.
2. Very large playpen/enclosed area you can sit near to while working but gives baby lots of room to crawl/walk around. Put new and interesting toys in there every hour or so to keep them entertained. Make sure to make eye contact every so often.
3. At 9 months they can start to feed themselves some stuff so you can try to squeeze in 15 min while they are in high chair going at some cherrios or smushing banana into the tray during breakfast and lunch.
4. Addendum to the high chair suggestion above: use it once a day for a sensory activity where they are strapped in and make sure whatever you give them is ok to put in mouth. Food is great choice but they also might enjoy non toxic finger paint, blocks, ice cubes...get creative and have fun.
5. Make sure you baby proof up the wazoo if you are only keeping half an eye on them as the older they get the more they somehow discover every dangerous thing the second you look away.

creativecookie

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:01 pm

I completely understand your predicament and where you're coming from but it's going to be tricky. Some other suggestions - jumper or I forgot what they're called but a standing toy with toys all around the baby, lots of snacks (puffs keep babies busy for a long time). Is there a homeschool community where you live that you could hire a 12 yo for 1-2 to entertain your baby? Or can you find another mother who will watch your baby for an hour and then you watch hers and you make that hour up in the evening? Hatzlacha!!

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:55 pm

My baby was with me without a babysitter from birth until 6 months, when I got a new job and temporarily hired a in house babysitter, and then from a year until last week when Hooray

he finally started playgroup. This was not my plan when I fired my babysitter, I was planning on sharing a neighbor's babysitter when he stopped nursing but that never panned out and I never found anything else that worked with our schedules.

Obviously it's not ideal. Do you have meetings only scheduled or on the fly also? I have both. For scheduled meetings I tried very hard to arrange the naps to be during that time. If someone called me and it really was a bad time I'd say please give me a minute and then call them back after either putting him in his bed to cry for a few minutes or strapping him in well and giving him something to eat while he was small. This all worked pretty well until he was about a year and a half when he started napping much less and came much worse at self entertaining.

At that point I'm more or less gave up and when he became really difficult I'd strap him into his booster chair and put on Uncle moishy. I can sold myself that I didn't do it right away in the morning, usually pushing it off until after Naptime, and only until my kids started coming home from school to help entertain him.

I also worked with my kids at home after school for 2 hours every day... At this point I'm planning on waking up extra early and working in the morning before they get up, that was dreadful.

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 11:02 pm

Some practical tips:

Noise canceling headphones. So they don't hear baby during meeting. You will still need to keep an eye out to make sure that nothing dangerous is happening. I once had to pause in the middle of talking to somebody because my son had climbed four feet up on the furniture and I had to rescue him.

Baby gate any stairs and your kitchen if it doesn't have a door that closes. Keep all your bedroom and bathroom doors closed and work at your dining room table, assuming that you have toys and places for him to crawl in your living room. Put locks on all your cabinet doors so that your valuables and books don't end up all over the floor while you're in meetings.

I never found success in containment because while it might work with a toy for a short period of time the anger and frustration can be very loud and disturbing once they are tired of it.

There is a concept called a tomato or something like that we're basically every half hour you concentrate solid for 20 minutes and take a short break. I don't know what kind of work you do but if yours is the kind where you would benefit from occasionally stepping away use those moments too entertain your child.

I never take lunch breaks for actually eating I eat while I work and use my breaks for things like bus stops and child care.

Something I wished I could do maybe you can: see if you can find someone like yourself you can partner with who can keep an eye on your kid if you have to run into a meeting and you can keep an eye on theirs if they have to run into a meeting.

amother

Snow

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 11:57 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

DO NOT wear noise canceling headphones when you're home with a baby. That is grossly irresponsible.
Your baby's well being comes before work. If you can't care for your baby properly while your working, then the baby needs a babysitter. Not a mother that wears noise canceling headphones.

amother

Papayawhip

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:31 am

amother Snow wrote:

Obviously not all the time. When my kids are doing a noisy activity.

They don't drown out all the sound, at least not any I've used. They mute the noise from your end.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 12:37 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Can u send me a link to good hesdphones

amother

Cerise

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Too bad you are in Lakewood. My baby is also at home, and the same age as yours. Smile

My baby takes one long nap in the morning (2-3 hours) and the rest of the time is awake. I use the playpen (less now that baby is mobile and not when baby says no). I offer food and age-appropriate toys near me. I close doors to rooms that I don't want the baby getting into (at this age they can't reach the doorknob). I accept that sweeping frequently is part of the package. If there is a certain area that doesn't have a door but you don't want the baby getting in there, get a baby gate. (We have a gate at the foot of the stairs, our neighbor has one at the entrance to the kitchen, you could put one at the entrance to the hallway leading off to the bedrooms.)

About phone calls: Is your job only phone calls? Or can you do everything else while the baby is awake and schedule phone calls for ONLY when the baby is asleep?

Sling, or do your work standing, when baby is cranky. I do take breaks to pay attention to my baby, and then work super fast the moment baby goes to sleep. My babies who I did this with are all better adjusted than my babies who I left in someone else's care while I worked outside the home. Don't listen to the naysayers.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:02 pm

amother Snow wrote:

It's not really possible to work when a baby of that age is awake.
Babies shouldn't be left to entertain themselves all day.

1. It's not all day.
2. It's better to entertain yourself beside mom than go off to entertain yourself beside someone else who has more babies to care for.
3. Babies have a cycle which includes sleeping, eating, diaper change, playing independently, demanding attention. The ONLY issue OP is asking about is what to do when baby wants to play independently while she works. That's really not "all day."
4. Also, independent play is good for babies.

amother

Snow

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:08 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

10-4 is 6 hours. Let's say baby is awake for 3.5 of those hours. That's an awfully long time to expect a 9 month old to entertain themselves for. Interaction with other kids at a sitter, is also very good for a baby. Especially if the other option is baby entertaining themselves for hours.
And if OP is on the clock and getting paid from 10-4, she has to ok it with her employer that she'll be busy with the baby and wouldn't be able to focus entirely on work.
Working with a baby at home is usually not sustainable.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:33 pm

amother Snow wrote:

It's not 3.5 hours of play time, you need to take off for meals and changes. And it's not 3.5 hours straight. The interaction with other kids at the babysitter's is not really that beneficial for the baby. And any benefit at this age is far outweighed by the negatives that come with not being with Mommy.

I'm sure OP knows what her hours and boss are and what's okay, not okay, etc.

There's a learning curve, once you learn what works and what doesn't it's easier to do your work efficiently while baby is happy discovering or peacefully sleeping (or messily eating).

amother

Cerise

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:48 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

Cerise, until what age do you keep them home with you?

Until they are ready to spend an entire day away from me.
With my first I convinced myself that this age was 2.6, because I was going nuts. In retrospect (age 4-5) I understood that this was a mistake. My next I sent for the same school year but because of birthdays it was at age 2.9, whether because of that or gender it went better but not great. Third, I kept home an extra year (it was a beautiful year), and sent at 3.11. Fourth, now 3.11 also, I am only sending because it's a gan safa - 12 kids, ganenet, assistant, and they get ST and OT in the gan plus the ST and OT work with the ganenot to guide them how to best help the kids and the ganenot themselves are special ed teachers. I wouldn't have sent until next year (or possibly the year after) if we hadn't gotten into a gan safa. Current baby is same age as OP's and home with me (and adjusting to being the only one at home, lol). Like I said the kids I kept home are much more emotionally well-adjusted and have much better self-confidence and self-control than the kids I sent out earlier and who weren't watched by me because I was working as a teacher at the time.*

*All my kids needed and probably would've been received gan safa if I'd asked, but my fourth is the only one to get it this early, and only because I'm more experienced now.

mig100

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 12:56 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

Do you have more than one or 2 babies at home at once?

amother

Cerise

Wed, Sep 06 2023, 1:01 pm

mig100 wrote:

Do you have more than one or 2 babies at home at once?

Thus far no. My third was already in gan (age 4) when my fifth was born. So we had 3 and 4 home at the same time, and then 4 and 5 home at the same time. During corona there were long periods when everyone was home and BH BH I still worked, but I don't know if that's what you're asking - 1 and 2 were no longer babies by the time corona happened. I also homeschooled 1 when 3 and 4 were babies.

(If you ID me please PM me, thanks.)