Being put in a "multi-purpose" room

ClaRivka

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 7:11 pm

How do you feel when you are put into a room that is a "multi-purpose" room?
I always feel like I'm intruding into their space.
When we have our own house I'm going to really try to keep guest rooms strictly guest rooms.

How do you feel when ur placed in s room like this? Like an intruder? Or do you just figure that "it's their house, they can do what they want with it"?

Discuss.

ora_43

Sat, Jul 12 2008, 6:28 pm

I feel that if they invited me, it must mean they want me there. Of course having me over means some inconvenience, even if they have a guest room, but they must think it's worth it.

I don't plan to have a guest room that's only for guests unless I have guests over at least 50% of the time. Why have a room that's not usually in use? I would consider that a waste of space and money.

Clarissa

Sat, Jul 12 2008, 9:31 pm

I live in the city, so guest rooms are a luxury that people don't have. People are lucky if there's a pull-out in the living room or one of the kids' rooms. We don't even have a pull-out, so we can't really host overnight guests, which is fine by me.

It would never occur to me to be unhappy with the room I'm given if I'm a guest. Personally, I don't like to stay in peoples' homes and usually prefer hotels. Or, I prefer to stay in my own home!

greenfire

Sat, Jul 12 2008, 11:26 pm

while I think it's loverly to have nice accommodations - I'm willing to share beds ... sleep on a couch ... on a mattress on the floor ... on a kids bunk bed ... with kitties curled up at my feet ... so guess it depends on how much you love the person you are visiting ... I do however require clean sheets with the fresh smell of downy ... Mr. Green

MiracleMama

Sat, Jul 12 2008, 11:29 pm

While it's very nice to be given a room that is specifically a guest room (and a private bath to boot) - it's a luxury that many people simply cannot offer their guests. Should that stop them from inviting people? I don't think so.

I have slept in guest rooms that were also home offices, kids' rooms, or storage areas. So long as people weren't knocking every 10 minutes that they needed to get something, and so long as the room was clean - I could care less. If I want 5 star accommodations I can go to the Ritz Carlton. If I want to enjoy visiting with friends and family, I will happily accept the quarters I am given. All I really need is clean.

Rutabaga

Sun, Jul 13 2008, 1:06 am

We had a lot of company this Shabbos because we made a kiddush in honor of dd's birth (finally!) and wanted our families to be present. We put dh's parents in our guest room, 2 brothers on a high riser in dh's office, 1 brother on an air mattress on the floor in dd's room (she slept in a pack'n'play in our room for the night), and we sent my parents down the block to a neighbor. Everybody was perfectly happy with the sleeping arrangements.

I've slept in offices, living rooms, dining rooms and basements. I've slept on proper beds, air mattresses, couches and pull-out beds. Of course I prefer a guest room with a private bathroom (who wouldn't?) but I've never minded being a little uncomfortable for a night or two in a less than ideal situation. The reason we sleep over in other peoples' homes is for the company, not the 5 star accommadations.

goodheart

Sun, Jul 13 2008, 1:14 am

Rutabaga wrote:

MAZEL TOV!

greentiger

Sun, Jul 13 2008, 5:31 am

MiracleMama wrote:

I agree. I am always dreaming about having a house one day that is big enough to make a nice guest quaters with its own bathroom and kitchenette, but I doubt that will ever happen and till then my guests will have to sleep in my baby's room.

bodybalance

Sun, Jul 13 2008, 6:05 am

I think it all has to do with the attitude of the hosts.
I was staying with my DH at a family for Purim... and the woman made us so uncomfortable that we were staying in her kids rooms... I felt myself apologizing the whole time for the intrusion...
(eventually she softened) but it was SO awkward...

When I have had guests... (not since I am married since we are in the first year)
My priority is that they feel 100% at home.
My "physical stuff" is not mine... it is entrusted to me by Hashem to use for this EXACT purpose...
to help another Jew.

I have seen real examples of that... I was once at a woman's house... who put me in her daughter's room... but she made me feel SO welcome... she came and put Negel vasser by my bed before I went to sleep... I always looked at that as an example... of how important it is to give the person a GOOD feeling with the little details...

I think that it doesn't matter where they put you... as long as they have a good attitude...
we have been put in luxurious accomodations... but the hosts made us feel weird...
and have been sleepiing practically in a shed... but felt like part of the family...
but I don't judge anyone... since it can be very difficult to host people... and you never know what kind of week that person went thru...

All this is my "humble" opinion Smile

amother

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 6:03 am

Once we went to cousins of DH. And they put us in their son's bedroom. I had no problem with that. But he had these smelly pet hamsters or gerbils that made noise all night. I found that insulting. To put us in the room as their pets.

Tamiri

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 6:09 am

amother wrote:

Now THIS is a funny one. What in the world were they thinking? Maybe the son thought it was a great honor to allow you to sleep with his rodents shock

freidasima

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 6:18 am

Well we let everyone sleep with our jukim (cockaroaches..)
But for us to have guests with our tiny overcrowded home it means sending kids to sleep at neighbors. When my in laws were here we gave them our room, we slept in the half terrace that was portioned off to be the boys room and they slept "out" at friends. Three weeks. Wasn't easy. We usually don't have sleepover guests...almost never unless it's an emergency...

flowerpower

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 11:00 am

We have guest a lot of times, mainly for shabbos.I give them the kids room. I wash the linen, wash up the room well, put out some nice and inviting stuff like towel tissues crystal thing of chocolate and the middle one saying good shabbos or something... If it's for a weeknight I put out a small mouthwash, soap, shampoo...The kids go in the spare bedroom in sleeping bags-they love it.

zufriedene

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 11:10 am

I feel terrible when family say . u must come for shabus, we're making a simcha, and then they dont have a decent room to offer, once my dh took in the car seats so we could have another bed Rolling Eyes

Even for one night I need something decent and clean, and take all measures to do the same for my guests, when accomodations arent available I'll limit the number of guests, even for one night a person is entitled to privacy, cleanliness and decency. that mean ha Exclamation

hachnosis orchim

Clarissa

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 11:12 am

amother wrote:

I don't think it was insulting. You're sleeping in the kid's room, and the pets live in the room. They probably don't find them annoying, so they weren't even thinking about it. You could have asked if the pets could be moved for the night, if they were bothering you.

I can't imagine being "insulted" by someone's hospitality. If someone imposed on me by sleeping on my sheets, eating my food and displacing my kid and then found a way to be insulted, I'd want to know so I didn't have to welcome them back into my home again.

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2008, 9:01 am

Clarissa wrote:

amother wrote:

I am always appreciative when someone puts our family up, but there is such a thing as being rude to your guests. Putting them up with your rodents in my book is rude!

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Aug 27 2008, 9:06 am

amother wrote:

I am always appreciative when someone puts our family up, but there is such a thing as being rude to your guests. Putting them up with your rodents in my book is rude!

You seem to be missing the point... They're not putting you up with the rodents. They're putting their son into a different room and putting you into his room. The fact the kid has hamsters or whatever is not the main focus of the room.

I'm very sensitive to noise when I sleep and any time there's a ticking clock, I remove the battery and put it back in after Shabbat.

I once stayed at friends who had hamsters and just asked they remove the cage at night, otherwise the running wheel would have kept me up.