Do you give a chomesh? Need chizzuk!

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amother

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 3:38 pm

I have been seeing a lot of talk about giving a chomesh.
My parnassa fluctuates a lot, but often I live month to month. I owe people money and I am usually scrambling at the end of the month. But I would really like to start giving a chomesh, as a zechus for being able to afford what we need and not owe people money.
Do you give a chomesh? Please give me chizzuk, or maybe personal stories of how it went for you. Thanks!

amother

Yellow

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 3:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

I thought a chomesh was for wealthy people. If you owe people money I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea to do this before paying off your debts.

Trademark

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 3:41 pm

Yes, it's only for the very wealthy. It's actually the maximum you're allowed to give.

amother

Vanilla

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 3:44 pm

I imagine you a cha’av to pay people back before giving extra $ to tzedaka.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 3:45 pm

Are you giving maaser? Focus on that. Many people have seen yeshuos financially just from that.

mzybas

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 4:00 pm

עשר בשביל שתתעשר

Java

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 4:02 pm

Paying people back what you owe is dioraysa. A chomesh is not.
If you can afford to pay a chomesh, pay people back instead.

amother

Mintcream

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 4:37 pm

Dh gives on his income. I didn't like the idea bec we are a young family with many expenses. We still rent, are eligible for wic etc
We comprised and he gives chomesh on his, and we give reg 10% on my income.
Bh he works in an industry that's not doing well now but he still has work. Maybe it's bec of chomesh?

happy7

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 4:59 pm

You should not be giving a Chomesh. You can be midakdeik/super careful with maaser as a zechus

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 5:21 pm

I give a chomesh and we are not wealthy. I also learned that
עשר בשביל שתתעשר means giving a fifth.

I started last year when I saw my husband's business didn't have the best year.

B"H, since I've been giving, I saw tremendous improvement in his business.

HOWEVER OP, you should 100% absolutely pay back the people you owe before you think about doing it. You should speak to a rav if you should even be giving 10% if you still owe people money.

I just had something eye-opening happen. Last week, I got a notice from my bank that a tzedakah check that I had sent out via the bank in March had been returned to my account since it wasn't deposited within 90 days.

There I was, thinking I was giving my tzedaka and doing it properly, and yet Hashem didn't want my recipient to get that money. (I have since been in touch with the recipient and fixed the issue.) But giving the maaser/tzedakah/chomesh is all about realizing that Hashem is the One Who is absolutely in charge. If He doesn't want your tzedakah to go through, He will make it not go through.

This is the chizzuk that I'm trying to give you: everything is from Hashem. If you can't afford to give chomesh yet, that is from Hashem too. More than anything, remember that Hashem controls your finances.

I think that if you live b'simcha and b'bitachon that Hashem WILL help you do what you need to do, the rest will follow.

But please...ask a rav if you should give 10% while you have debt.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 5:22 pm

We give maaser on our salary, but recently starting giving chomesh on other income (we have other non-regular income)
DH is hoping that will ease us into giving chomesh on everything.
(We are basic middle class - not struggling but really not living large)

I want to add - even when we were struggling and very tight, we were always careful with maaser and didn't use any heterim (e.g. giving maaser post-expenses, or using maaser for tuition) DH and I 100% think this is why we have been blessed to see our finances improve year after year, bli ayin hora.

farmom

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 5:24 pm

I know someone who gives chomesh and said her parnasa improved tremendously since she began. I hope she pipes up here.

amother

Jade

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 5:33 pm

We have been giving chomesh for many years b"H. No we are not rich not even close at least financially although we have plenty of stories of incredible yeshuot even some really huge ones, but I think we have bracha and it all comes from this merit.
May Hachem bless you to pay off your debts and take on this mitsva.

SheviL

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 8:06 pm

What is Chomesh??? what did I miss out in school?

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 8:11 pm

We just started giving chomesh this past year. We lived paycheck to paycheck so it wasn't easy to start but we have seen tremendous yeshuos since we started. And my husband went from unemployed to running his own business which is bh starting to become profitable now TYH. And I received a raise out of the blue without asking for it. I 100%attribute it to this zchus.

amother

Chicory

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 8:55 pm

Obviously speak to an Rav. Committing to giving a chomesh is not "no big deal"
On the other hand, I never gave maaser. Only a chomesh, since my first dollar earned because I was taught if I dont start giving a chomesh then I would never, cuz its a hard jump. Fast forward, I got married and my husband gave 1/10 and I gave a chomesh. Eventually, I convinced my husband to start giving a chomesh (after maybe 3.5 years of marriage) and you don't even know. We were always "ok" not stretching but we both made our salaries and lived below our means. And since he started giving a chomesh, you can't even imagine. Our parnassah has improved so exponentially and with such ease. I still cant fully believe it. I could go on for hours but I'll spare everyone. Mamash we see such open nissim from Hashem. If you think you can do it, it'll change your life.

amother

Almond

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 9:08 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

I thought a chomesh was for wealthy people. If you owe people money I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea to do this before paying off your debts.

But if it's only for wealthy people then it doesn't actually make people wealthy because they are wealthy already

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 1:57 am

amother Almond wrote:

But if it's only for wealthy people then it doesn't actually make people wealthy because they are wealthy already

It's not only for wealthy people.

Total myth.

salt

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 1:59 am

SheviL wrote:

What is Chomesh??? what did I miss out in school?

1/5 = 20%

It's the max amount of tzedaka one is allowed to give.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Jul 06 2023, 8:18 am

I have credit card debt yet still give a chomesh.
Far far from wealthy.
I dont think the amount of money a person has in his pocket at the end of the day is related to how much income or tzedakah one gives so why should I not give more to those that are needier than me?

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