At my wits end!!!!!

amother

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:28 am

My almost 2 year old has been waking up at night for milk for the past year. This is not a passing stage or sleep regression. I'm at my wits end!! She woke me up nearly 10 times within the span of 4 hours last night. Literally worse than a newborn. She was screaming amd couldn't be ignored.

She eats well during the day and eats dinner within 2 hours of bedtime.

I've tried multiple things:
Diluting milk bottle with water
Giving less milk during night waking
Ignoring for 10 minutes at a time then going to comfort her without giving her milk.

Nothing helped, she is extremely stubborn and will scream bloody murder until she gets what she wants.

What can I do???? Should I let her cry it out completely? That may take hours. I don't have the heart to do that.

I really don't have the energy to go to her multiple times a night. I have a lot going on..

the world's best mom

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 10:33 am

I would only offer water at night. Maybe she'll stop waking up so much if she's only getting water. She may scream for one or 2 nights, but then she'll get used to it.

BUT I would hold her while she's screaming about it. I would cosleep if it makes life easier. I would NOT take away the milk and leave her to scream in her crib by herself.

IOW, you make the rules but you'll always be there to comfort her if she dislikes it.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

Two year old molars?
My 23 month is/was the same. I started diluting her bottles. But now when she wakes up I “nurse” her instead of giving a bottle it’s just easier for me and then co sleep rest of the night. At my wits end too tjo. Although I do get sleep when I go sleep.

Also what happens when you give her the diluted bottle? Does she drink it and is happy or is she annoyed that it’s not the real deal? Maybe try diluting it even more and more slowly until it’s basically just a drop of milk and water. Or just water.

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 11:19 am

Honestly?

Time to stop it cold turkey and sleep train.
You can do it gently as someone upthread posted.

Does she have anything else to calm her? paci or lovey?
You can talk to her by day to prep her. Leah, tonight you are no longer getting a milk bottle. tonight you will not cry for it. Mommy will come to your bed if you cry, but no more milk.

You need to brace yourself and really really be prepared not to give in.
Switch off with dh and go to her bed and gently talk to her. No more milk. Shh shh sleepy time. Its night and now we sleep etc.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:40 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I would rule out anything medical going on before sleep training. Waking up 10 times is a red flag at almost two years old. Don’t jump to sleep training before getting her checked out. Does she sleep w mouth open?etc

amother

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:44 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I've tried this exactly but she is extremely stubborn and screamed all night long for three hours. At that point I was too exhausted and gave up.

amother

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:50 pm

This is not 2 year old molars. This has been going on for at least a year now. She is Not in pain! She usually only wakes up once or twice a night but whenever I try to change things up a bit (dilute bottle, give less milk) is when she wakes up more often. Last night I tried to give her less milk (because she woke up only an hour or so after bedtime), so she woke up again shortly after for more. I gave less milk in the bottles because she was drinking too much, hence the waking up 10 times cycle.

I discussed this with her pediatrician and he had nothing to say (did you try diluting, did you try water etc). I've tried it all.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is she over tired when she goes to bed? Sleeping too much during the day?

Iymnok

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:55 pm

I would do CIO.
She will scream, but I expect it. She doesn’t need anything and doesn’t know how to do anything other than scream for you. Get earplugs and expect it to take at least three days. Look it up and find the method you think you’re the most okay with.

amother

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 12:59 pm

Iymnok wrote:

So I did try this a few times. She climbs out of her crib and screams while banging on her door. She can't even put herself back to sleep as she doesn't know how to climb back into her crib. 🙄 When I say I'm at my wits end, I mean it. I have tried everything!!! And I have other little kids in the house who get woken by all the commotion.

the world's best mom

Wed, Jul 05 2023, 1:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've tried this exactly but she is extremely stubborn and screamed all night long for three hours. At that point I was too exhausted and gave up.

3 hours is not all night long.

You basically have 2 choices: keep diluting milk or trying to take it away and then giving in when she cries, and then this will drag on for a loooong time. Or stick to your guns, refuse to give her milk at night, and it will be over in a day or 2.

It's okay if she cries as long as you are there with her. Take her to your bed if you are willing to, so you'll both be able to cuddle and rest as she screams. If you don't want her in your bed, then stay with her by her crib. Hold her and comfort her, but do not give in after 3 hours!

I obviously do not believe in leaving a kid to CIO, but especially if she climbs out of her crib and can't get back in, that is torture.

You have to decide if this is what you want to do. Then once you decide to go for it, there cannot be any backing out after she cries for the milk. So until you are totally ready to go for it, just keep giving her the milk. It's not fair to her to keep taking it away and giving it back.