Beautiful Message | Imamother

Taily ↓

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 1:23 pm

amother Opal wrote:

It's a beautiful video. However think the biggest issue is when someone is simply dressed, regardless of their size. If you are heavy and you could afford clothing, sheitel, makeup etc you will feel good about yourself.
There is no such a thing as an ugly woman, there is a poor woman.

This is your personal belief, and you have the power to change it, if you want to.

I personally believe, and experienced this as well: externals cannot make a person feel good about themselves.

It is one's self-love that will make a person feel good with themselves, no matter their size or looks.

You can look good with $10 clothing, and choose to you love yourself that way.

(And after much inner work, I've made a conscious decision to start loving myself the way I am right now, rather than waiting until I lose my extra weight...)

ShishKabob

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 1:55 pm

amother Opal wrote:

This actually says in Gemara, not about being plus size, but it says that Bnos Yisroel are beautiful, it's just if they are poor then you can't see it, (something like that)

crust ↓

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 2:13 pm

amother Opal wrote:

I agree.

Everyone can look beautiful with a nice dress that is well fitted by an expert seamstress.

Well done hair makeup nails nice shoes and accessorized.

It is a challenge to pull it off when you're overweight and not well off.

I appreciate you Dobby for starting the discussion.

She looks like Kelly in this video. So graceful!

↑ Ema of 5

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 3:33 pm

crust wrote:

I will say this under my screen name.
I am overweight. I don’t go to an expert seamstress. I don’t wear a sheitel every day. I don’t own makeup. I wear sneakers or boots in the winter and sandals in the summer. I don’t wear accessories. Most of my clothes are either from other people or from Amazon. BH we can afford if I want to do all of the above and also spend on clothes, but I choose not to. I think it is quite possible to look out together and nice without all of these things. It is not only those who can afford who who look put together and nice. I don’t think looking put together and nice has to be about one’s station in life, and I think we need to move the conversation away from that. Why should women who can’t afford to do the above have to feel as though they will never be enough? I know many beautiful women, of assorted body shapes, who are not well off. I don’t think it has anything to do with money or being able to do the things you mentioned.

↑ crust

Mon, Jun 26 2023, 3:53 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

I am not saying I'm doing the things mentioned and even if I do it wasn't the point of my post.

I do not want to turn this into a thread bashing a great idea- making women and girls feel beautiful in any body size.

I sincerely appreciate the idea and the message and I hope it is ok to say what I'm going to say.

What I was responding to was a poster saying that it isn't always the weight it is most often the money that's blocking women from attaining a look that makes them feel beautiful.

And I agree.

This was filmed in a beautiful high end mall.

Every detail is taken care of.

It is not the reality of many overweight women.

No they cannot walk into any store and get anything because first of all there are barely stores carrying their size and then if they finally do find something it is usually hell expensive and in order for it to look decent you'll have to mend it for a lot of money, buy good fitting underwear that cost bombs of money and so on.

It is also more important to have a taken care of sheitel and accessorize accordingly so you don't look like that fat shlumpy lady.

If this doesn't talk to you and your society is different and you can walk out with a 25 dollar top from Target while being a 40G on top then good for you.

I was only trying to validate the ones for whom this is not their reality.