who is telling the truth?!?!?!

proudmom

Tue, Nov 22 2005, 5:32 pm

I have a very big dilemma, I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old and they both fight all the time. But when something happens I ask the other what did you do and he/she says I didnt do anything and the other said he/she did? Now what should I do? I dont know who is lying or telling the truth.

Mandy

Wed, Nov 23 2005, 12:40 am

candy jar. You start out with ten candies for each day. Every time they fight, regardless of who started it or who hit whom or who is lying, take one out. If they are playing nicely put one in. Then after supper, they each get to share ( half each) the candies that are still in the jar.

With older kids we use marbles and an eventual treat to a pizza shop when the jar is full. But with little kids, they need an immediate daily reward system.

technic

Wed, Nov 23 2005, 3:31 am

mandy where were u when my kids were small!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (what a brilliant idea)

Tefila

Wed, Nov 23 2005, 9:47 am

I'd believe a 3yr old far better then a 4yr old Exclamation

since from experiance those children don't really know how to lie and protect themselves so they tell the way it is.
At 4yrs they know already the repercussions for their behaviour so they will sometimes hide the truth.
I do teach this age too and found usually I'm on target for that Wink

Best scenerio though would be to sneak in on them when they r officially playing together, and watch them for approx 5-10min if u r still not sure.

raizy

Sun, Nov 27 2005, 10:42 pm

freileich u hit it on the nail allways believe the younger one. so we ask the younger 3 yrs old who broke the luugos so he always answeres the older ones name it is a riot..

mandy I will try your suggestion . for listhening to mommy etc . my kids dont fight all that much . they are a happy bunch all gangeing up on poor mommy LOL

proudmom

Sun, Nov 27 2005, 11:36 pm

mandy I am doing your advice, but intsead of candies I am using marbles. BH it is working out well.

proudmom

Sun, Nov 27 2005, 11:44 pm

Every Sunday it starts a new week. I count up the marbles and each marble is worth 25 cents and they can buy whatever they earned.

tzivi

Sun, Nov 27 2005, 11:46 pm

I am so impressed with that idea.... I think I might even start something similar at our home! Very Happy

Thankyou!

raizy

Wed, Nov 30 2005, 10:21 pm

if they dont fight and they play nicely and they pick up all the toys from the toy room then they can open up the geduluim cards and stick it in their albulms . it is a real fun thing and they get to look at holy pple...

proudmom

Mon, Jan 30 2006, 4:44 pm

Let me update you all on whats going on. The marbles worked for awhile now its getting out of hand. THey wont do anything unless they get a marble. I dont want them to be that way. When they get older I dont want them to think inorder to do something for mommy or abba they need something in return.

Tefila

Mon, Jan 30 2006, 5:49 pm

Quote:

When they get older I dont want them to think inorder to do something for mommy or abba they need something in return.

I feel the same way. So I like charts way better or monthly stipends which could be allowance or something else like a toy every Rosh Chodesh because as family thats what we do Just as family we also get to help and be nice to each other.Full stop

raizy

Wed, Feb 01 2006, 11:46 pm

I used to give gedulum cards to my boys . but now my oldest refused to do anything without getting one. so I stopped it. he should listhen bc I am the mommy ,.. right..

Mandy

Thu, Feb 02 2006, 3:34 am

Set some rules, here are some ideas :

1. You cannot ask for marbles for yourself. You can only suggest marbles when someone else is playing nicely with someone else.

2. You can only make this request once a day. Other times the mom has to notice it and if you ask more than once you won't get.

3. You can write ( draw) a list of all the nice things you did together for the day and at the end of the day ( two days ? one week ?), mommy will pick one or two best ones for which you get marbles.

sorele

Tue, Feb 14 2006, 10:43 pm

I tell my kids that I'm not interested in hearing who started the fight if they start to fight they both go in time out.
it work very well and they learn to deal with their problems alone.
they know that if they start something they both lose