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Forum
-> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections
-> Pets
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amother
Lily
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 Sun, Nov 13 2022, 12:02 pm
My husband and kids would love to have a dog but I refuse. I'm the one home most of the time and I know a dog's care would fall on me and I'm not interested. I'm happy to take care of my family but I do not want the added responsibility of a pet which needs so much care and will never be independent. I'm so close to never having to deal with, excuse me, other people's excrement ever again and have no desire to have to walk a dog in all weather and deal with that.
We were recently at a Shabbos meal at a family that had a dog that jumped up on the couches when we were sitting on them and licked people's faces and ran under the table while we were eating and I was very uncomfortable. I kept having to wash my kids' hands after they touched the dog and before they touched their food again and I noticed I was the only one concerned about it and got nervous about the cleanliness of the food.
I'm not afraid of dogs, by the way. I have taught my kids how to approach strange dogs and check with their owners if they're friendly and how to hold their hands out to dogs to introduce their scent before gently petting them. And then of course I make sure they wash their hands afterwards. I just have no interest in a dog wandering around my house all the time. I would be livid if my husband brought one home. I know a cat is less work, but it wouldn't be fair to keep one in a basement with limited interaction with the family and certainly not to expect your kids to keep a secret like that.
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skyeblue
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 7:17 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Oh yes I know it’s not ok. And I know that despite my plans I won’t do it.
I’m just so desperate.
I guess I’ll have one in gan eden. |
Visit a cat cafe. Google it - its a place where you can sit down and have a cup of coffee and watch and/or pet cats. Weird stuff in my opinion, but hey, some people like cats.
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amother
Coral
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 7:21 pm
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If my husband would do that I would not walk into the door until the cat was gone and the house thoroughly cleaned. It would be awfully nasty and immature.
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skyeblue
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 7:22 pm
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Do you have mice? If you do, maybe your husband will agree to a cat. 😜
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amother
Poinsettia
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 7:41 pm
Whoever wrote about no smell…I can promise you that I and many others would smell the cat in the house — when you live with it you get desensitized and don’t smell anything.
Dander for example
I’m sorry op is this a new thing for you? Didn’t discuss when dating?
Obviously your spouse comes first
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:00 pm
Thanks for all the suggestions I appreciate it!
Some of you took me really serious which made me smile, because I wasn’t that serious about it. It’s just a strong thought/feeling that I have every once in a while.
A cat cafe is a good idea.
Can’t wait to try it 
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amother
Magnolia
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:05 pm
| amother OP wrote: | They’re so clean, and quiet, and don’t bark, and easy to handle, and so sweet.
My husband hates animals but I die to own a cat.
Can I just come home with one and keep it in the basement or anywhere away from him so it won’t bother?
Tell me I’m not crazy. |
My husband did that to me and I was SO angry and I felt SO betrayed. The cat didn’t last 6 weeks.
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amother
Brown
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:12 pm
Ugh not ok at all. I didn't even read the thread but I'm deathly allergic to cats. Also, they are fickle. Also, probably sheidim. Just don't major yuck.
Get a dog.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:14 pm
| amother Brown wrote: | Ugh not ok at all. I didn't even read the thread but I'm deathly allergic to cats. Also, they are fickle. Also, probably sheidim. Just don't major yuck.
Get a dog. |
Cats are sheidim? Why do you say that?
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:19 pm
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Cats carry a ton of germs, especially bartonella aka cat scratch fever. I wouldn't.
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amother
Lily
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 8:22 pm
| amother Poinsettia wrote: | Whoever wrote about no smell…I can promise you that I and many others would smell the cat in the house — when you live with it you get desensitized and don’t smell anything.
Dander for example
I’m sorry op is this a new thing for you? Didn’t discuss when dating?
Obviously your spouse comes first |
That reminds me of when we were house hunting. There was a beautifully updated house that we looked at that had an amazing family room and the price was extremely reasonable. We walked in and immediately knew why it hadn't been snatched up already. It reeked of cat. We couldn't wait to leave and we definitely didn't make an offer. That smell would have been impossible to get rid of!
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zaq
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Sun, Nov 13 2022, 9:03 pm
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What BH YomYom said, ten times over.
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ora_43
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 5:43 am
| amother Lightgreen wrote: | They're not always so sweet.
My friend just needed to put down a beloved pet cat because out of the blue, a week ago, the cat started attacking family members, biting hard enough to cause visits to urgent care. It happened twice over the course of 24 hours and it was obvious he was no longer safe to have around. (The vet agreed.)
This cat was only a couple of years old, had been so sweet and attached to the family, they had had him from when he was a tiny kitten. Even though I'm not an animal lover I never was nervous around him or minded if he jumped up next to me on their couch to purr.
He was a housebound cat, never went outside, no chance of him having gotten rabies or something from another animal. But at the end of the day, animals are unpredictable and you can't guarantee they won't snap and become vicious. You have to be prepared for that possibility. |
Sorry but this is such an odd story. The vet suggested killing the cat because he had been acting strangely for one week? No checkup to see if something physical was causing the aggression? Because that's the case, like, 99% of the time.
Animals are very predictable. More so than humans, since they don't change their minds or choose to act badly. They have a fairly simple set of instincts that determines what they do.
Their behavior might seem strange to humans. But that doesn't mean it really is "out of the blue," just that we need to look at what else is going on (cat is in pain for some reason? cat is feeling threatened, eg by a neighbor's new pet? hormones?).
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Alternative
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 5:50 am
| amother Wallflower wrote: | | Yes you’re crazy. Maybe you can get a bird. I know it’s not the same … |
Don’t get a bird. It is so cruel to keep them in cages.
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Alternative
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 5:51 am
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Op, cats can be great pets, but unlike dogs, you can’t train them not to jump on counters and tables. That bothers some people.
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amother
Maple
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 6:11 am
We have 2 cats. Yes they are clean and they don't smell, and they are very cute and fluffy.
But they bring in lizards, birds, mice, rats and leave the remains outside our bedroom door as a "Gift"....
they sometimes leave the tails and little feet for us too.
Another thing.... A Jew cannot take them to the vet on Shabbos should they need urgent care.
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singleagain
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 6:30 am
| Alternative wrote: | | Op, cats can be great pets, but unlike dogs, you can’t train them not to jump on counters and tables. That bothers some people. |
If you Google keep cat off counter you will find many different methods
| amother Maple wrote: | We have 2 cats. Yes they are clean and they don't smell, and they are very cute and fluffy.
But they bring in lizards, birds, mice, rats and leave the remains outside our bedroom door as a "Gift"....
they sometimes leave the tails and little feet for us too.
Another thing.... A Jew cannot take them to the vet on Shabbos should they need urgent care. |
For the gifts... Not if it's an entirely indoor cat
And a Jew should check with their own Rabbi regarding what the halachic ramifications are of owning a pet .... Shabbat or otherwise.
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the world's best mom
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 9:24 am
We are fostering a kitten and the smell is terrible. I can't be in the same room as the litter box.
Don't do that to your poor husband. He's allowed to not like cats, and shouldn't be forced to live with one.
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the world's best mom
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 9:28 am
| amother Wallflower wrote: | | Yes you’re crazy. Maybe you can get a bird. I know it’s not the same … | We've had several birds. They are LOUD and their food gets all over the house. And it's chometz gamur, so Pesach cleaning is a nightmare. And cleaning the cage is gross. I'm so glad we got rid of them all.
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amother
Sunflower
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Mon, Nov 14 2022, 9:31 am
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Sorry, OP. I feel your longing - though for me, it's dogs. I always dreamed of having a lots of dogs. I begged my parents but they hated animals and wanted nothing to do with a dog. So I decided when I grow up and get married and have my own home I will have many dogs. DH doesn't share this dream. At all. Not an animal hater by any means. Just thinks our home is crazy enough with lots of kids and he doesn't need to work to feed dogs too.
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