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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Twins, Triplets, and more

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amother

Dandelion

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 2:53 pm

amother [ Glitter ] wrote:

many drs will turn and deliver baby b breech. its not the same as delivering a singleton breech. my baby b was born feet first.

I use a doctor group. The specific doctor that would’ve let me do natural was the head doctor. The thing was that I went into labor early and he wasn’t at the hospital and the doctor on call wasn’t specifically high risk.

OP, just so you know if you try for v@ginal with baby b breeched-
The actual delivery is automatically in the ER just in case. They only let you do it with an epidural just in case they need to do and emergency C ch’v. Once baby A comes out, they do an ultrasound right then and there to see baby B’s position. If they can turn it great, if it’s not in a good position then they do a c section right there (and then you have to recover from both types of births!), or the third option is that the doctor puts his hand in (to the elbow!) and pulls the baby out by the legs.

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:04 pm

amother [ Dandelion ] wrote:

My second was foot-first breech, they had no problem delivering naturally in that position. Second baby breech is far less of a risk because the path has been paved so to speak. (Biggest risk of breech is head entrapment, which is rare but very serious. If the opening is already proven to be stretched enough for a head that's not really a concern.)

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:33 pm

For the pregnancy, a body pillow helped me get comfortable at night.

First year, if I would do it again, I wouldn't be stingy on baby nurses. I think it's worth paying a bit more per week or night for a better or long-term nurse. At some point my nurses were leaving or I had to let them go every 3-5 weeks. Also, if going with a baby nurse agency, ask for references.

Accept all reasonable offers of help.

Reach out to organizations that offer help to mothers of multiples if there are any in your neighborhood. I got suppers for 6 months and when I called to stop the meals, I was asked. "Are you sure? If you change your mind, call us back, we would give until twins are 2"

Keep a camera handy at all times and enjoy the special twin moments!

English3

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:33 pm

I delivered my twins naturally without epidural. Second baby was transverse.
Now I am in a very hectic stage with them. it's the most facinating thing to watch twins grow up but ten times harder too.
I prepared myself mentally and physically. I bought three bottles each and dummies. They were colourcoded so twin one had blue and twin two had yellow. like this if anyone was looking after them they could keep track as well if I came in to the room I knew straight away how much they ate.
I had different formulas as one was in the nicu.
I used bottle propers the best thing ever

LK1

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:39 pm

I have two sets of twins and they are just the best!

By the first one I just had a night nurse for a few weeks. The second time I had a full time nurse and was so so much easier. (If you could afford it, it aint cheap...)

They were so cute growing up, they have a built in playmate and are always keeping themselves busy with no or minimal intervention.

Hatzlacha with all and enjoy every minute of it once they are born!

amother

Ultramarine

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:43 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

Thanks for everyone's advice and tips! I think that I'm having them in the winter will make it so much harder cuz' I can't even sit on the porch or outside...

Sorry OP for hijacking your thread Smile

I'm just in the same boat as you.
Feel free to take over!

Not totally, I'm due any day now ( with 1) but I have a hard time imaging moving around, not even thinking about going outside schlepping 2 in this heat.

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 3:56 pm

Just for fun, back when my twins were babies I started a blog, "Life in Staccato."

Here are some of the gems from there:

Quote:

I have been blessed with twins. And I know it’s blessed.

But that means that my house has looked pretty awful since before they were born.

Now, this is at least partially my fault, I admit. But what’s not my fault is that cleaning houses relies on hanging on to the twin balls of quicksilver “time” and “energy” at the same moment. I’m pretty lousy at that game.

Quote:

Of course there is no magical trick to being a good mother, but if you have these five characteristics, or most of them, you’re well on your way.

1) Selflessness: If you’re able to give your chocolate bar to a friend, or sacrifice your night out since your spouse isn’t in the mood, you are selfless. If you can do this fairly often, with a smile, you have what it takes.

2) Decision-Maker: If you are good at making split-second decisions, especially when hit with a flurry of choices for a flurry of decisions, you have this trait. Good for you.

Boy it’s hard to write well with a baby pulling on you.

3)

Quote:

Frustration is finally getting to a point where it seems that you have both time AND energy, and then both babies waking up.

Quote:

The difference between theory and reality is as wide as the gap between your children and – lehavdil – your Yetzer Hara.

Quote:

Baby B has just fallen asleep nursing. I put her down on the bed gently. She continues to sleep. YAY! Yesterday she had a REALLY long nap. Maybe we’ll get lucky again.

Baby A is now awake and wants to eat. I feed her, but then Toddler comes into room. He proceeds to try to play with Baby B’s feet. I try to redirect him.

He redirects himself to jumping on the bed next to her. Verbal cues not working. “No! Stop! Get off! Out of the room! 1! 2! 3!”

By the time I can put down Baby A without her yelling indignantly, Baby B is awake and staring at Toddler who is jumping awfully close to her head.

No decent nap today.

Quote:

Good Mommy Moments Thursday:

• sang the kids into stunned silence
• got negel vasser from the kitchen sink
• choice of sandwich spreads for lunch

Quote:

Good Mommy Moments Sunday:

• Gave lunch, and did not complain that my first batch of toast was eaten
• Made supper
• Served supper

Bottom line is that to survive it you need to adjust your standards significantly! Smile

Example: Clean laundry is important. Sorted and folded is not. I had DH throw in a random load for me every day. A mountain of clean clothes is worlds better than a mountain of dirty clothes.

amother

Dandelion

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:19 pm

amother [ Wandflower ] wrote:

Reach out to organizations that offer help to mothers of multiples if there are any in your neighborhood. I got suppers for 6 months and when I called to stop the meals, I was asked. "Are you sure? If you change your mind, call us back, we would give until twins are 2"

WOOOWWW
Where do you live

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:45 pm

Was in BP

amother

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:48 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

I'm just in the same boat as you.
Feel free to take over!

No feel free to ask all your questions, feels good to have someone else going through what I am 🤪

amother

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:49 pm

English3 wrote:

Did you have to push for the no epidural? That's how I delivered my rest... I do not want needles...

amother

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 4:53 pm

Thank you all for sharing, please keep them coming. All your responses and answers are really giving me clarity and also good questions to ask at my next dr visit.

Also if you had twins were you also sent to an mfm? And if so how often did you have to go?

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 5:46 pm

Epidural requirements vary from hospital to hospital. My doctor told me I didn't have to get one if I didn't want. In the end, there wasn't time for one anyway...

amother

Yellow

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 5:59 pm

I'm an identical twin myself. It's awesome to have a built in playmate.
We fought a ton, but I guess this is what makes us so super close today.
My mother put us into two different schools in elementary, but we went to the same camp. (Think twin tricks... switching bunks... Cool

)
And yes, I had cramps when she was in labor.

amother

Yellow

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 6:00 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

)
And yes, I had cramps when she was in labor.

I know this isn't about being a twin, but couldn't help it Laugh

amother

Wine

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 7:34 pm

Bshaah Tovah!
You’re getting great advice!
Twins are so amazing and mesmerizing! Mine are by far the immediate and extended family’s favorites.

Full term twins is a few weeks earlier than a singleton, can’t remember the number of weeks.
Twins are usually a little smaller than another baby at that stage in pregnancy.
Many moms are more tired during a twin pregnancy. My back was hurting and the body pillow didn’t cut it. I slept on a couch for the last bunch of weeks.
My dr was willing to allow me to try a vaginal birth on the condition I have an epidural.
Nursing both full time is very doable and very hard especially if you have other children to care for.
I chose to do formula for one feeding a night which allowed me to pump and sleep a little extra. This way my husband or friend can feed and I sleep.
Nursing two at a time is a great time saver but was hard fir me to accomplish. Took till they were good nursers to make it work.
Eating and drinking tons of water is crucial.
Pack in great nutrition in the least amount of food. I put quinoa into a large bowl of hot chicken soup and I knew that I had a good meal.
I showere after nursing, diapering burping, so I knew if they’re crying they’re still ok.
Find a friend who has twins. I got so many things from a friend and saved tons of money. And the advice and understanding is priceless.
You’re going to love it!

Kiwi13

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 8:16 pm

I was in a two story townhouse. I bought 4 camping style bassinets (zip all the way closed) for about $50 each. Those things were LIFE SAVERS!!! I had a safe place to put my babies where their 2yo brother couldn't get at them or hit them with his airborne toys.

That's the first random bit of advice that comes to mind. Lol

It's an exciting time. Don't expect anything to feel normal for a while. It gets easier fast, but it might not FEEL fast. My kids are so close in age now and all best friends. BH. Frenemies too, of course, but they mostly get along and play nice. It's a real bracha.

Bshaa tova!!

amother

Pistachio

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 8:37 pm

Mom of almost 1 ur old twin girls. I had such extreme back pain in that pregnancy. It started around 4 months and got progressively worse. I went to bed many nights crying from pain. I tried everything some things offered temporary relief but it was only a matter of time. I was so scared the pain wouldn’t go away after birth but bh it was immediate relief. I bh delivered both vaginally. I didn’t go to an mfm specialist but at 30 weeks I switched to an mfm group because I developed a complication.
In terms of help I believe for twins you NEED help it’s NOT optional. However, some people get that help from their husbands. Mine works 24/7 I needed a nurse I couldn’t do it on my own. But that’s just my personal experience. Bshaa tova!

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 8:59 pm

Most important piece of advice I can give you - keep them on the same eating/sleeping schedule. And, of course, HAVE a schedule. You can't feed two babies on demand... you'll always be busy with them. I scheduled my babies right from the beginning, so that they woke up together, ate together, slept together etc.
For example - during the night, I fed them at 10, 2, and 6. If one woke up at 1:30, I gave them a paci until 2. If the other wasn't up yet at 2, I woke her up. (Of course, if neither was up at 2, I wasn't up either, and I just fed them when they woke up.) Having them be fed together gave me a decent night's sleep.
Another thing - matching outfits are adorable! But PLEASE don't change both when only one needs to be changed. I dressed them in matching stretchies every morning, and also had a pile of hand-me-down stretchies for whoever spit up/leaked etc. They rarely finished the day in matching outfits.
I had help with suppers for 2 months (my mom) which was a great help. My twins were in the NICU for a couple of weeks, which while exhausting and hard, also meant that I slept through the night.
I upped my cleaning help, and sometimes asked the cleaning lady to help with the babies - as needed. I also woke up my husband to help with the feedings during the night.
I had the "my brest friend" nursing pillow and it was great. But I didn't have enough milk, so while I nursed them, my husband prepared two bottles, and when they were done we each gave one baby a bottle.
Great tip I got from a mom of 20(!) children. Don't spoil your baby. Babies are perfectly happy with room temperature bottles, they don't need it to be hot. I kept a water bottle and formula on my dresser - no need to make a hot bottle, check if it's too hot, cool it down - etc.
I had a c-section (baby A was breached). Recovery was very hard. But that's because of the c-section regardless of twins. I must say that by the time my twins turned 2 I never felt my cut anymore. But I felt it until they were a year, and after that whenever I was anxious or upset it would flare up.
I had 2 carseats, a double carriage (not a combined - it was fine, I lifted the baby out of the car seat and into the carriage. I think that's easier than lifting a car seat out of the car) - also my carriage didn't have bassinets. I just got a carriage that reclined almost all the way (Valco twin) and it was perfectly fine. I kept it in the house and my kids napped in there, relaxed, were pushed around when they cried etc.. I also had two swings (one was borrowed) - was a great thing to have, it kept them happy.
They slept in the same crib until the first one started turning over. That's when I got a second crib and moved them out of my room. They were sleeping through the night already at that point (keeping kids on a strict schedule will usually mean that they sleep through the night faster). And I never had a nurse or night nurse, and I was fine because of my strict schedule.
Anyway... the first couple of years pass eventually. People will say it gets easier! But it gets harder before it gets easier. I think having two 2-year-olds is harder than having two tiny babies.
My twins are four now and they are the cutest friends. They are built in playmates and BH adorable.
It'll be hard for a couple of years, but it's so cute! That reminds me - prepare for tons of comments. People will compliment, comment, and ask about your twins wherever you go. But after a couple of years that stops as well. Two 4-year-olds aren't as noticeable as twins.
BTW, do you want my nursing pillow? Perfect condition.

Kiwi13

Wed, Jul 27 2022, 9:38 pm

Funny, we were cautioned (by our twins' NICU nurses) AGAINST trying to get them on the same feeding schedule!! The reason is because it's extremely difficult to feed two babies at once. I don't think we had much choice though, because our babies were overcoming medical hurdles in the beginning which messed with their feedings. It also meant help was virtually nonexistent because anyone we left them alone with needed to have medical training. My God, those first few months....

But anyway, OP, my story is not the norm. It's hard but usually more doable than our case. And hey, we still lived to tell the tale. ;-)

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