going to cheder the day of the upshern

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

Going to cheder the day of the upshern

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sarahd

Thu, Nov 10 2005, 5:19 am

How do you schedule a three-year old's birthday? Confused

Rochel Leah

Thu, Nov 10 2005, 10:28 am

sarahd wrote:

Rochel Leah wrote:

in the times of the rebeim they were learning chumash at three years old..

Are you quite sure about that? I can't imagine it being so. Three year olds learning Chumash? Which three-year old (except a prodigy) can understand Chumash?

Maybe I made a genrelization, but the minhagim that chabad follow for hachnasa lecheder is from one of the earlier Chabad rabeim, when he was starting to learn chumash.
Well they say that Rashi is for ben chomesh lemikra. years ago 5 year old were allready learning rashi.

from what I am hearing most places in chabad do the hachnasa lechader at three, it seems that monteral is the only one that does itthis way

TzenaRena

Thu, Nov 10 2005, 12:26 pm

sarahd wrote:

How do you schedule a three-year old's birthday? Confused

the hachnosa l'cheder (it's also called areinfirenish) could be on a different day than the birthday/ upsherenish

sarad wrote:

Quote:

Rochel Leah wrote:
in the times of the rebeim they were learning chumash at three years old..

Quote:

Are you quite sure about that? I can't imagine it being so. Three year olds learning Chumash? Which three-year old (except a prodigy) can understand Chumash?

Maybe I made a genrelization, but the minhagim that chabad follow for hachnasa lecheder is from one of the earlier Chabad rabeim, when he was starting to learn chumash.

The Tzemach Tzedek's hachnosah l'cheder was at 3

Motek

Thu, Nov 10 2005, 2:42 pm

SaraYehudis wrote:

The "heilige" cake for sure should be baked by a woman who is tehorah, or a young unmarried girl (preferred).

I haven't heard of the cake referred to as holy and what is the source for what you wrote about who should bake it?

and what's the source for this:

Quote:

niddah is not supposed to touch the child on 'cheder' day

as far as I know, the link I posted has all the Chabad customs and these points you mention are absent

roza

Thu, Nov 10 2005, 8:44 pm

Quote:

... are absent...

...yesh omrim Mr. Green

ask around in CH.
ask Doba Levin from brooklyn, she told me.

Motek

Sat, Nov 12 2005, 9:14 pm

I have enough with the offical, printed customs and am not really interested in hearsay customs.

raizy

Wed, Nov 16 2005, 1:13 pm

in montreal it is done at three on the day of the child birthday only in lubavitch yeshiva they dont do it there...

lucy

Wed, Nov 16 2005, 8:43 pm

Chanie Mazal Tov on your son's upshernish! So what did you end up doing in the end?

roza

Wed, Nov 16 2005, 10:29 pm

Motek wrote:

I have enough with the offical, printed customs and am not really interested in hearsay customs.

funny to hear from u of all the ppl...

lucky

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 9:11 am

Where I live, the cheder sends home a whole booklet. it has the halochos of payos, tzitzis, and all the minhagim of the upsheren day.(and sources for all the customs:) )

We take them to cheder on their third birthday.

We do the egg, honey cake,(baked by someone who is not nidda),They go to cheder covered in tallis so not to see anything tomeh.that includes seeing women who are nidda. Even more... he should not see any women exept for grandma, mom, sisters. (If the mother is nidda, it is preferable she should not touch the child. but that extreme is done only by very few people.)

Chanie

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 10:16 am

lucy wrote:

Chanie Mazal Tov on your son's upshernish! So what did you end up doing in the end?

I made a party in my house. A lot of my family members came in, and we invited a few friends... I spent so much time making things (2 weeks, ever since yom tov ended... I like making everything myself) It was nice, but I'm glad it's over and I can rest now.

(Went straight from Tishrei to the Upshern.... it was great to get some sleep)

You should see Dovid in his new haircut, he changed from a baby to a big boy with the movement of the razer. He know looks so much slimmer and taller.

gryp

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 10:33 am

you have any pics to post? Wink

Pearl

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 10:41 am

mazzal tov, chanie!!

Chanie

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 10:55 am

RG wrote:

you have any pics to post? Wink

Unfortunately the person who took my camera got no shots of how hard I worked on my cakes and set up... but I'm going to try to make stills of the video.

Chanie

Thu, Nov 17 2005, 11:16 am

Just took the time to watch the video quickly... not many good shots on that either... a lot of ceiling and floor.... I think next time we got to hire a photographer.

Motek

Thu, Jan 26 2006, 3:08 pm

In 5743 Rabbi Levi Goldstein wrote to the Rebbe as follows:

“ … on Lag B’Omer will be the upsheren of our twins Yechiel Alter Yehoshua and Menachem Mendel b’ezras Hashem (their birthday is 18 Nissan). We want to ask the Rebbe’s advice about the hachnosa l’cheder (arainfirenish).

Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dvorkin told me that it is not clear for in Poland they did the hachnosa l’cheder as a continuation of the upsheren, but in Russia the hachnosa l’cheder was done at age 5 (or 4).

In Sefer Ha’Sichos summer 5700 p. 67 it says that the day after Yom Kippur 5653 the Tzemach Tzedek had his hachnosa l’cheder [at age 4] (perhaps this was a private hora’a for Beis Rebbi).

Furthermore, over here it is customary (for most people) to put their children in preschool at around age 3 (mostly to play), and so we ask the Rebbe’s advice in this: 1) should we put the twins in preschool now? 2) When should we celebrate the hachnosa l’cheder?

I received the following answer from the Rebbe. The Rebbe crossed out the words “to play” and instead wrote: to say brachos etc. and to the words “preschool” (gan yeladim) the Rebbe added: I.e. cheder.

The Rebbe underlined the words over here it is customary (for most people) to put their children in preschool at around age 3, and the Rebbe concluded by writing: and therefore, what is the question?!

chocolate moose

Thu, Jan 26 2006, 3:23 pm

My Satmar friends tell me that no women can see the boy the day he turns three, they don't even make a party because of that. The only female the boy can see that day is his mother.

I don't know anything about the cake being baked by davka a tehorah, but I had a newborn then and insisted my husband make it anyway. , from a lemon cake mix (ick).

The only thing we heard had to be done special was that the letters should be engraved into the cake - not into the frosting. So he did that with a toothpick I think.

The next baby was a girl so I didn't look into customs after that.

Mazel Tov and good luck!

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