After School Moodiness

amother

Thu, Nov 04 2004, 8:56 pm

After my 3 year old comes home from a day in school til 3 oclock, he is so moody and cranky. The teachers say he is so good in school, and in the mornings he's really good and excited for school. I think he may need a midday nap but I cant give 1 after school b/c he wont sleep at night. Does it happen to your kids and how do u deal with it?

Tefila

Thu, Nov 04 2004, 11:36 pm

amother

Quote:

Does it happen to your kids and how do u deal with it?

yep you are not alone I have it too. I find if I give them a treat and hot chocolate and don't ask questions about anything leave them to themselves for 15min-1/2 an hr I find it makes a diff on their moods

Mon, Nov 08 2004, 1:56 am

I have that problem too - 2 of my kids come home 1:00 and they could really use a nap, but they won't fall asleep until 3:00 ish and it's too late - it interferes with night time. I grin and bare it - difficult sometimes. I try to cuddle, make snacks, have a fun activity, but exhaustion is exhaustion and my 3 year old gets so moody - I don't know what to do sometimes. If he falls asleep at 3:00 plus, I wake him after 45 minutes and boy is he a mess - it I didn't wake him, he would sleep for 2 -3 hours. Any suggestions?

amother

Tue, Nov 09 2004, 6:45 pm

sounds like the kids' schedules are not kid-friendly Confused

school till 3:00 for a 3 year old? and when does school begin?

my 4 year old's schedule was 9:30-2:30!

does a 3 year old need to be in school until 3 o'clock? The mother might need him there, but the 3 yr. old doesn't need it!

Yael

Tue, Nov 09 2004, 10:25 pm

well with a 7 hour day, who wouldnt be a mess???!!!!
adults get tired after an 8 hour day of work! you cant expect a toddler to keep the same schedule!
yes school is work for a child. its stressful always having to do what you are told and follow the rules, there is one activity after the next, never time to take a break. break time is playtime when the child has to interact with the other kids and fight for his toys, etc.
of course he's tired.

amother

Wed, Nov 10 2004, 10:19 am

Quote:

yes school is work for a child. its stressful always having to do what you are told and follow the rules, there is one activity after the next, never time to take a break. break time is playtime when the child has to interact with the other kids and fight for his toys, etc.

school for a three year old is work?! stressful? no breaks? fighting?

and to think that I imagined that a three year old goes to school for a few hours a day to have an enjoyable, stress-free time, with appropriately paced activities, and supervised free playtime and an atmosphere that makes fights a rarity

how naive of me!

if school is that awful, and the schedule inappropriate, sounds like the child urgently needs to be placed elsewhere, or better yet, should stay home with mommy (or will that be too much work and too stressful for her, without a break etc.?)

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 9:10 am

My oldest goes to Cheder - his schedule is terrible and there is really nothing to be done about it. Last year, when he was in Pre 1-A his hours were 8:30 - 4:30 - needless to say, he was a wreck, he was falling asleep (as were about half the class) on his desk in the afternoon. So in the beginning, I marched into the school and signed him out at 2:30 - without consulting anyone - I did what was best for my son. After a few weeks, he asked to stay in school and I listened to my son and left him there until 4:30 - he didn't want to miss the fun they were having in school. Did he still come home exhausted - definitely.

This year, he's 6 and in grade 1 and has the same hours - he comes home exhausted, has to do a lot of homework and eat dinner, be bathed and PLAY with his brothers - and it has to all happen in 2 1/2 hours. I keep juggling how we get it all accomplished. I hate it - why does a 6 year old have to have such a long day? I don't have the option of putting him in another school unless I want to go public.

These kids have many years ahead of them to be serious students, why do they have to start so young? He also goes 1/2 a day on Sunday and they've added an eleventh month without consulting the parents - I never say anything negative about his schedule, but I am one unhappy mama.

I didn't grow up in the religious system so maybe that is why I have such a bad attitude - I had a great education and went to school from 9:00- 3:30 with an hour and 20 minutes for lunch, 2 recesses, and a gym class to run out my energy. Sorry for dumping, but if not here, where?

Rochel Leah

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 10:00 am

CA, I went to a frum school and I am also unhappy about the sysytem. but not about the school I went to. we had gym, the boys have gym too till high school, we had drama, arts, needle point, tennis, all types of spoerts, plus the techers were all rounded and good. both in secular and holy. I just wish that they would implement those things in the schools in the states...if I want anything to happem I will have to do it myself..like arrnge a gym class for the boys, or a dance class for the girls...well I will worry when the time comes

Motek

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 11:42 am

Quote:

These kids have many years ahead of them to be serious students, why do they have to start so young? He also goes 1/2 a day on Sunday and they've added an eleventh month without consulting the parents - I never say anything negative about his schedule, but I am one unhappy mama.

I agree with you about the too-long school day. But you know what? Most mothers are happy to have their kids out as long as possible. I once discussed this with a principal who told me this, and I believe it. After all, if a mother has a few tiny tots, then it's a relief to have a long school day for the older kids.

The only reason why 3 yr. olds are in school until 3, is because most mothers want it. It they didn't, it wouldn't exist. Some parents have their babies in daycare from 8-6 while they work!

I'll tell you this - if you don't speak up, don't expect changes. It would help if you found other likeminded mothers and you wrote a letter signed by all of you, or if you arranged an appointment and all of you met with the principal.

As far as the 11th month, I am personally in favor of that. A 10 week vacation is ridiculous. As the kids get older they have a harder time finding summer programs that are right for them, and don't use the vacation time well.

zuncompany

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 11:58 am

CS I agree with you and it worried me when it comes time for Zu to go to school. He needs his naps! I don't understand though why for the littler ones (3s and 4s) why if they are in school for so long they don't have nap time. I taught that age and in IL (don't think cheder does give, but at the same time I think its only half day for them) it was law to have a 2-3 hour nap time for kids under 5. I think even 5 years have to have an hour rest time. Also no outlet for the kids to get out pent up energy for the older ones who don't have so much free play can be a huge issue and for those kids who very much need it can and will cause problems in the long run in the classroom.

I have really debated my kids to pre-N and N. I still don't know what to do. Friends tell me if you don't than the kids start out behind in pre-1A. I don't want this for my kids. They will start out behind already because I don't know as much as others like yiddish. However I don't like such long days. I don't like that there isn't enough physical activity. Its not healthy for them in any way to be sitting on their tushes all day. I also agree that the 11 month year is not a great thing. Maybe for the older boys, but not the little ones. Camp is important!

Sara

Rochel Leah

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 12:16 pm

Motek, I agree with you on the 11 month, cuz once kids come back to school , they have forgotten evrything and then they have the chagim and so they really only get back into the swing of things by end of october.

In south africa we have the same amount of school as in the us byt our vactions are spread out better. we have 4 weeks in the winter, 6 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks in the spring and fall. I wish it would be like that here, but I dont think it will happen cuz the summer months are so hot here compared to south africa , it would be really difficult to consintrate in the heat.

Motek

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 12:28 pm

Quote:

we have 4 weeks in the winter, 6 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks in the spring and fall.

much more sensible
about it being hotter in the U.S. in the summer, school buildings are air-conditioned!

zun - if you're up to doing it, and since you taught pre-school you might be, you might want to consider finding out what is taught and teach it at home. This way, he won't be behind and he'll enjoy your company and naps etc.

micki

Thu, Nov 11 2004, 12:37 pm

you know- I love having my kids home. my oldest turned 6 on tuesday- she's in first grade. this is the first year she is in school from 8:20 till 3:50. I miss her. the other kids miss her, and I wish for her that she did not have such a long day. in the morn no play time- get ready for school. she coes home, its homework then supper and bath. if we are running snap snap snap on time then she'll have an hour to play. then its bed. she loves reading and never has a chance to. I don't like this long day- she wants to do so much!
she got presents for her bday, she never even got a chance to look at all the books! so yeterday was pta and they got off at 2- she was sooo excited to have some extra time where she could relax and didn't have to rush to do everything!

and the summer? why in the world would I want the kids cooped up in school for such a long day when its beautiful out?
the excuse of kids forgetting is only true if the parents allow it. we have a great schedule in the summer- I love spending time with them outside (and in!)