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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Other special days
Sons upshernish falls out before lagbaomer....
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 10:26 pm
im sooo annoyed. my sons upshernish is on shabbos the 12th of iyaar. lag baomer is the coming friday. how on earth am I gonna make an upshernish on friday?

I get very into my parties, and this is just annoying. so my husband said, we cut his hair on friday, just like family, and then sunday we have a party for friends...

anyone else have any suggestions. im thinking, maybe a brunch on friday...but its hard, people have work and its not an easy day to just up and go to a party... its not like a bris, and youh ave to have it that day
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su7kids




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 10:57 pm
What time is the earliest you can cut at night? Maybe that's too late.

Make a brunch, or just cut one lock, and then wait until Rosh Chodesh before Shavuos to make a party, or after Shavuos.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 11:02 pm
you do it at night as in thursday night - cause the moon comes out before the sun ... a/k/a the lunar calendar ...
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supermommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 11:05 pm
I also have to make an upsherin on lag b'omer this year B"H. I am also a bit annoyed about how it worked out on the calender this year. I'm thinking of doing mine as brunch sort of thing but, you could still do it on thursday night and avoid all the friday troubles.
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GAMZu




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 11:09 pm
In my circles, the cutting is not the big deal. It's the Hachnosa L'Cheider. When are you bringing him? Usually it's done on the actual birthday. If there is no cheider that day, the Rebbi comes to the home of the child. Maybe arrange that for Shabbos and make a grand Shalosh Seudos?
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yentaof8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2008, 11:17 pm
my son's upshernish is lag b'omer too as is a nephew of mine. my SIL is thinking of going to Maron -I'd love to join them! Otherwise, Thurs. night sounds like a better time for a party. I tease my 19 yr.old DD that we can cut his hair at her wedding if she hurries .JK-LOL
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 7:14 am
wow! my son's upsherenish will also iyh be on lag b'omer. I hadn't thought of thursday night! hmm....

I'm just glad it's on Friday bc it works out that I already have the day off of work.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 10:27 am
Hey Shayna, I'm also making another upshernish. Later though, on the first day of school, which means no one's coming. Confused

Do we cut hair Thursday night or only on Friday? I think to cut the hair on Friday and make a party on Sunday is a good idea, maybe even better than the regular way because you don't have to worry about cutting the hair at the actual party. Your son doesn't have to stay seated, he can run around with the other kids. Smile
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:15 pm
right gr, my husbnad mentioned that last night, that hees almost sure we cant cut at night. so theres no point in making a party that night. I raelly dont knwo what to do.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:20 pm
why can't you cut hair at night ... heard you can't cut erev shabbos after chatzos ...
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:32 pm
I had a similar situation with two of my son's whose birthdays came out between Lag B'Omer and Shavuos. We made the upsherenish on Erev Shavuos. The truth is that by that time it's a very nice long Friday, DayLight Savings time is back, and it's very doable.

We made the upsherenish in shul (770), and served cake and L'chaim. One son had hachnasah L'cheder after that, on Erev Shavuos, a very special time for Kabbolas HaTorah. I can't recall whether the other one did the areinfirenish that day too .

At around noon, the family came over for a seudah, we served a nice buffet with salads, and cold cuts, and kept it small, just family.

Two friends who also had upsherenish'n on Erev Shavuos opted to do it differently. They had spoken to their Rav, and they pushed it off till after YomTov, when they could have a bigger crowd, and just gave a few token snips on Erev Shavuos itself.

But I think Lag B'Omer is different, it's SUCH a big inyan to make the upsherenish on Lag B'Omer, it's all connected with RASHBI, and thousands make the tip to Meron to do it at the tziyun of RashBI, for sure it's an incredible zechus, to make an upsherin on Lag B'Omer itself.

And there was always a special float during the Lag B'Omer parades with the little upsherenish boys and thier fathers holding scissors, they gave the first snip as the float passed by the Rebbe, on the grandstand.

The celebration could be afterward, even after Shabbos, that's fine!

There is an answer from the Rebbe that I read at the time we were dooing upsherenishen that deals with the question of pushing it off, I can't remember it now, but maybe someone can post it.
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 12:38 pm
GAMZu wrote:
In my circles, the cutting is not the big deal. It's the Hachnosa L'Cheider. When are you bringing him? Usually it's done on the actual birthday. If there is no cheider that day, the Rebbi comes to the home of the child. Maybe arrange that for Shabbos and make a grand Shalosh Seudos?
I can't imagine hachnosah l'cheder on Shabbos for two reasons:

The "heilige" cake and the egg have letters, which we don't eat on Shabbos,

in Shulchan Aruch it says that children don't attend cheder on Shabbos. they aren't suppossed to be pressured to learn something new on Shabbos because it's not Oneg Shabbos, Shabbos is reserved for review of what they have already learned.
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GAMZu




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 5:04 pm
TzenaRena wrote:
GAMZu wrote:
In my circles, the cutting is not the big deal. It's the Hachnosa L'Cheider. When are you bringing him? Usually it's done on the actual birthday. If there is no cheider that day, the Rebbi comes to the home of the child. Maybe arrange that for Shabbos and make a grand Shalosh Seudos?
I can't imagine hachnosah l'cheder on Shabbos for two reasons:

The "heilige" cake and the egg have letters, which we don't eat on Shabbos,

in Shulchan Aruch it says that children don't attend cheder on Shabbos. they aren't suppossed to be pressured to learn something new on Shabbos because it's not Oneg Shabbos, Shabbos is reserved for review of what they have already learned.
I don't know, we always have B'nos on shabbos, and boys have a group where they have fun and learn, too.
Learning isn't bad. It's not like learning towards a test. This is fun and pleasant.
(Main reason why I teach Alef Beis to my kids once they start being interested at age 1.5 although the cheider isn't happy and want to be the ones to introduce Alef Beis to the kids. Kids LOVE to learn when they are that little.)

And by us, unless it's Yom Kippur or Tisha B'Av (or a really extenuating circumstance) the letters in honey is done on the birthday.

I know a family whose son turned 3 on EREV PESACH and the Rebbi came to them after biur chometz.
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GAMZu




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 5:07 pm
Oh, and the letters, you are allowed to eat them, but you must cut between them, and not cut any letters in half.
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shayna82




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 07 2008, 9:35 pm
so this is what I think im gonna do

Friday morning (lag baomer) after my husband gets home from shul-- at around 11 ish we will cut his hair, and hav ea nice brunch consisting of bagels lox and cream cheese and a cake.

sunday, we will have the friends party... I think im either doing- meatballs, rice and sitr fry vedgys on sternos. or ziti, quiches, ceaser salad and a nosh table for the kids. fire engine theme.
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chanagital




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2008, 8:42 pm
both of my sons have similar types of situations my older one had a joint lag'b omar party with the shul that allowed us to worry about very little the shul took care of most of the stuff and it wasn't as expensive cause the shul was having the party anyways. We are going to do that with my younger son too his bday is on sukkos so the sukkot party for the shul will also be his upshire.
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2008, 8:52 pm
You're talking about this coming year? My sons birthday is also in sefira and we were planning on cutting him lag baomer, I didn't even realize yet that it comes out on Friday. We dont do a big party anyway, but just the cutting and taking to cheder takes time too.
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pink car




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2008, 9:08 pm
no, this year its not Friday, its Tuesday
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whatever




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2008, 9:09 pm
thats right its on Tuesday, the 12th of May. My son was born 4 days after pesach so he is a'h getting payos on log baomer. hes my first born, wow time does fly.
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curlytop




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 16 2008, 9:40 pm
Wow you guys are ahead.
My son's B-Day is Pesach... so we will be waiting til Lag BaOmer to cut.. I totally did not check the calender..can't believe you have it all worked out already..
I am soooo not up to that yet.
First my son has to figure out what the point of a potty is...
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